Bah, humbug! Mystery man plans end to Christmas in Summer

29 August 2009

If we were 87 year-old Denis Norden, we'd say that next is a story to file under "about bastard time, too" - although Norden wouldn't say bastard, unless he'd had a very large glass of gin: a shadowy organisation named the Movement for the Containment of Christmas is threatening shopkeepers who dare to slip into the Yuletide spirit too early.

Four businesses in Leeds have received letters warning them not to sell Christmas cards before November and a charity shop in Headingly has had its locks glued. Police have confirmed they are investigating the letters as well as mysterious phonecalls received by staff and hooded characters caught on CCTV posting the letters, which read:


This is a very polite but very serious reminder not to display Xmas cards until 1st Nov.

We will put superglue in your locks if you do.

Peace and goodwill

(The MIND shop got done on Sunday)

Genius. Either it's an individual concerned at the continued commercialisation of Christ's birth, an outraged Bitterwallet reader or a just a regular mentalist. Either way, we're secretly with them on this one, aren't we? If it's you, get in touch and tell us whether you're likely to start scooping the organs out of prostitutes next. We'd quite like the scoop if you are.

[Daily Mail]

TOPICS:   Christmas


  • Good i.
    Good idea! I'm also in Leeds and it's about time this was done. Anyone know how I join? Shops have been selling items for some time already - way, way too early. 1st November is the right date to start.
    MOVEMENT FOR THE CONTAINMENT OF XMAS This is a very polite but very serious reminder for BW not to display adverts for xmas items from HUKD in your "HotUKDeals Of The Day" until 1st Nov. We will put Superglue in your locks and cut the wires to your servers if you do. Peace and goodwill (The MIND website got done on Sunday)
  • Think W.
    [...] there’s now a mystery¬†militant movement of anti-early-Christmas campaigners calling themselves (or possibly his/herself, as it could be just one person) the “Movement [...]
  • Mewling P.
    What a bunch of cunts. It's up to the individual as to whether they want to start the christmas shit early. I for one don't celebrate christmas as I'm not a christian and I don't have small children, so why would I? All the christmas shit everywhere does pile right on my tits and makes my shit itch a treat, but to suggest criminal damage as a response, and for BW to blatantly condone these acts is fucking preposterous, and I'm amazed at the fucking stupidity that has been displayed here. Anyone who even suggests that this is a good idea should have their own locks superglued and THEN make their mind up. Fucking idiots. There's better ways to protest than resort to pathetic shit.
  • Colin
    Sure it wasnt the Taliban?
  • Paul S.
    You've got us bang to rights, Mewling Prick. When we suggested the culprit was a mentalist and will begin slaughtering prostitutes next - if that's not us "blatantly condoning" these actions, I don't know what is.
  • dj d.
    What if you changed the 'l' in locks to a 'c' - now that would be proper mentalist.
  • Alan
    Whats most worrying is when the xmas songs start. I was flicking through tv channels the other day, Malcolm in the Middle was (as it always is on Sky one) and at the moment it came on, a xmas song started up on it. All i want for xmas is yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooou
  • Existentialist T.
    Mewl, It's funny how you repost with suggestions of having their locks super glued.
  • Mewling P.
    Yeah - so fuckin funny that I wouldn't even do it!

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