BT chairman the only broadband trialist in his village. Oops.
It’s a PR gaffe up there with Gerald Ratner calling his stock ‘crap’ and Virgin’s Richard Branson revealing that he wasn’t actually a ‘virgin.’
It’s BT chief Sir Michael Rake, who, it has emerged, is the only gay in his village. Hang on, that’s not right, and we’d like to wholeheartedly apologise to Sir Michael and gays everywhere.
No, the truth of the story is that Sir Michael is the only person in his village of Hambleden (on the Oxfordshire/Buckinghamshire border) who has broadband. So what, you might roar. Perhaps the other inhabitants of the sleepy village are living in the 1950s and the idea of broadband is as alien to them as Grange Hill or Fatboy Slim.
Sadly, that isn’t the case. The grim reality is that BT chairman Sir Michael Rake is the only person in his village with broadband because everyone else has been told they can’t have it. Oh. That’s not good. Is it?
But before you all get irate, there’s a perfectly good reason for this tawdry-looking state of affairs. BT are desperate to bring broadband to the good people of Hambleden and Sir Michael is a mere guinea pig in a trial that his company are carrying out. Because they often use staff in their trials you know, and that’s all Sir Michael is – an honest to goodness member of staff.
One of Sir Michael’s pissed-off neighbours is recruitment firm head Gary Ashworth – he’s been waiting for fast-access internet for the past five years and Sir Michael’s BT told him it would cost him a fairly-hefty £168,000 to make. Yes people, that’s £168,000.
Mr Ashworth told Sky News that Hambleden wasn’t on the original list of villages that were included in the trial – the trial that Sir Michael Rake is now taking part in at the expense of his fellow villagers.
That, people, is what’s known as a perk of the job. A metric fuckton of a perk.