BT chairman the only broadband trialist in his village. Oops.

1 December 2009


It’s a PR gaffe up there with Gerald Ratner calling his stock ‘crap’ and Virgin’s Richard Branson revealing that he wasn’t actually a ‘virgin.’

It’s BT chief Sir Michael Rake, who, it has emerged, is the only gay in his village. Hang on, that’s not right, and we’d like to wholeheartedly apologise to Sir Michael and gays everywhere.

No, the truth of the story is that Sir Michael is the only person in his village of Hambleden (on the Oxfordshire/Buckinghamshire border) who has broadband. So what, you might roar. Perhaps the other inhabitants of the sleepy village are living in the 1950s and the idea of broadband is as alien to them as Grange Hill or Fatboy Slim.

Sadly, that isn’t the case. The grim reality is that BT chairman Sir Michael Rake is the only person in his village with broadband because everyone else has been told they can’t have it. Oh. That’s not good. Is it?


But before you all get irate, there’s a perfectly good reason for this tawdry-looking state of affairs. BT are desperate to bring broadband to the good people of Hambleden and Sir Michael is a mere guinea pig in a trial that his company are carrying out. Because they often use staff in their trials you know, and that’s all Sir Michael is – an honest to goodness member of staff.

One of Sir Michael’s pissed-off neighbours is recruitment firm head Gary Ashworth – he’s been waiting for fast-access internet for the past five years and Sir Michael’s BT told him it would cost him a fairly-hefty £168,000 to make. Yes people, that’s £168,000.

Mr Ashworth told Sky News that Hambleden wasn’t on the original list of villages that were included in the trial – the trial that Sir Michael Rake is now taking part in at the expense of his fellow villagers.

That, people, is what’s known as a perk of the job. A metric fuckton of a perk.

TOPICS:   Broadband


  • Rich P.
    yeah, yeah, just like a multi-national company I used to work for, the guys at the top get what they want like always, even though someone is the Sales Department could make better use of it.
  • Nobby
    The villagers could do somethign about it. If they worked together, they could ban him from the local pubs. They could ban him from the local shops. The local vicar can give a sermon on greed and use broadband as an example how some people take what others want. Of course, he doesn't need any of this, as he has the internet. He can order everything he needs online.
  • M
    A little late as this was on BBC News from yesterday morning!
  • Paul
    @M This is a pro-consumer blog. You're confusing this with a news site! Besides, it's worth reading again just to pick up colloquialisms such as "metric fuckton".
  • absolute c.
    This isn't a story...there is no outrage here...the boss of a phone company gets broadband? how the hell is that an outrage. If you decide to live in the countryside you accept that you are going to miss out on some of the perks of city living such as broadband,24 hour shops and general lifestyle. In return you don't suffer from high crime rates, pollution, noise and all the downsides of city living. This article is what's known as a pile of shit. Especially when you try to use your 'colloquialisms' which you have either just invented thinking yourselves highly amusing (which im going to break it to aren't) or have taken from some forum inhabited by 13 year old americans (e.g fail) The truth of the matter is you are all a bunch of losers who are probably living in your mothers houses scrounging her broadband which she is paying for with her pension money.
  • Harry C.
    Love the syrup Sir Mike!
  • Mungo S.
    Ahh, absolute crap... you remind me of something... its that bit on the end of a bell... oh yes, a bell end.
  • jerry
    This was a trial, because the max speed he could get on this trial was 1mbps being 12kms away. Don't you think as the chairman of BT he will be using 3G wireless for his official internet business. I am sure it would be more than 1mbps and on his wages £15/20 per month would be nothing to him. All it was, was a trial. The future will be either fibre to the cabinet or fibre to the home for all our villages.
  • CompactDstrxion
    jerry, you talk like 3G coverage is universal, which it is far from being.
  • Jerry M.
    ok point taken, for me where I live is about 5 miles from the telephone exchange (Huntingdon) and can just get broadband (luckily) at about 512kbps although some of the neighbours have been told they are to far away from the exchange. But I keep getting conflicting messages that the 3G dongle will be the cheap way forward for the poor souls that can't get broadband through the telephone line.
  • Mandy B.
    "decide to live in the country" LOL! Fucking idiot.
  • jerry
    @ mandy & bubble For your information I didn't decide to live in the country I was posted to this part of the country not my choice (yes I am in the armed forces), why the f*&k are we protecting small minded twats like you.
  • Mandy B.
    jerry, if you will see “decide to live in the country" is in quotes as it was posted by: "absolute crap | December 1st, 2009 at 11:54 am" and I was calling him a fucking idiot for saying it. But then, you are as much of a twat as him. Who the fuck are you protecting? You are military scum - torturing innocent civillians is about all you ever get upto. Cunt. Ní síocháin go Saoirse. Hopefully there will be a tin of roses/quality street waiting for for your next tour of ireland... BTW, taking a job in the country is "deciding to live there". As opposed to the people with local links/who grew up there. ok?
  • jerry
    Sorry Mandy & Bubble for misinterpeting you quote, I read it as a dig at me, I don't normally bite that easily to things that people post say on the internet. Although I was very intreged by the comment of Ní síocháin go Saoirse, lets hope that Irelands peace agreement holds and the bloody violence stops. There is so many Sothern and Northern Irish people I know who love their country dearly and just want peace, but we will always have the minority who will spoil it for the rest. Lets hope that the British Goverment stop the mess that is happening in Afghanistan, the problem we Brits have is that we have to stick are noses into other peoples business, they has to come a time where you have to leave people take care of themselves. This is my view anyway. Anyway digressing from the comment made earlier I have never had a tour of Northern Ireland and never will do, because I am not in the Army. Although I would love a posting there if I could, Ireland is a lovely place the people are friendly and at least I can meet family and friends living there. I hope you can take my apology in good faith, I was only being nasty back as I ignorantly thought you was being sarcastic to me.
  • Wilko
    Jerry, stop being so nice. What you really meant to say, and what everyone else was thinking was, "Fuck off Mandy & Bubble you ignorant shitbag twat".
  • cordless b.
    My brother suggested I might like this website. He was totally right. This publish truly made my day. You can not imagine simply how much time I had spent for this info! Thanks!
  • demon
    @absolute crap.....omg..what a complete and utter wankstain u are....fuck off and die a slow horrible one u utterly insignificant twat of a waste of life.

What do you think?

Connect with Facebook, Twitter, or just enter your email to sign in and comment.

Your comment