Black Friday: How to shop at work without your boss knowing
If you work in an office with an internet connection, then you don't need to miss out.
That means, you don't have to use up your holidays, throw a sickie and get paid while dossing about on the computer. If the company you work for have it in your contract that they can snoop on your internet history, then let's be clear on this - you do it at your own risk and Bitterwallet will show zero sympathy or compensation if you get sacked or anything else.
Okay? Good. Let's have a look at some of the things you can do to buy a load of stuff while sat at your desk.
KILL YOUR BOSS
If you want to get away with shopping, kill your boss. Also, kill any snitches too. If killing seems a bit much, then simply maim them.
Use an incognito window while shopping at your desk without your boss cottoning on. This method of browsing automatically deletes cookies, browsing history and any other data from your hard drive. Sadly, it isn't a feature on all browsers, but if you have Chrome, Safari, IE, Firefox or Opera, you'll be fine. All you need to do is press these buttons, if you're not willing to execute your boss.
Chrome: CTRL+SHIFT+N (or, if you're on a Mac: SHIFT+COMMAND+N )
Safari: Click the gear icon in the upper right hand corner and hit 'Private Browsing'
Opera: CTRL+SHIFT+N for Windows; on a Mac press SHIFT+COMMAND+N
Internet Explorer: CTRL+SHIFT+P
Firefox: CTRL+SHIFT+P for Windows; on a Mac press SHIFT+COMMAND+P
To toggle quickly between tabs while keeping an eye out for people who might grass you up, use keyboard shortcut CTRL+TAB and you can flick between windows without anyone noticing. Or, if you maim your boss or murder them, toggling is completely needless.
THE UPSET STOMACH
Pretend you've got the squits. That way, you can regularly sneak off to the toilets and check out all the deals on your mobile. All the app stores have farting sound effects apps you can get, for added authenticity. Or you could just stick an axe through your boss's spinal column.
THE MAN BEHIND THE MASK
Take a screengrab of your work. That way, you can have a full screen image of what you're supposed to be doing when people check out what you're doing. It is like creating a mask for your computer. Or, if you're on Chrome, you can download the 'Boss Button' extension, which hides your screen's activity while your gaffer is snooping around. Or, if you like, you could throw you boss face-first into a wood chipper. Up to you.
TOPICS: Black Friday