The Cooperative's Q&A machine pushes our buttons

Since our local Sainsbury's regenerated into The Co-operative, customers have been subjected to a variety of questions by the supermarket's CHIP & PIN machine. It's nothing hilarious or overtly sinister, just bizarre - we don't recall seeing it in other stores, just The Co-operative. This was the most recent question:

Bitterwallet - The Co-operative Chip & Pin machines
Even if we had known the answer, we don't care for pressing random buttons on a machine that charges us money. It turns out the Co-operative is currently running a promotion concerning Tetra Pak. Sexy. The message no doubt serves to reinforce your choice of supermarket, because you've aligned yourself with a responsible business. Well, sort of.

It's certainly not the oddest question these machines have asked customers; that occurred a couple of months ago, when the device enquired:

"Are you worried about the bees?"

Eh? We only went in for two pints of milk, what does that have to do with anything? It's because the Co-operative has a touchy-feely social initiative to engender itself to the public (bizarrely involving swarms of winged insects that sting people) to "help save the bees". Part of the campaign is "calling for a systematic review of the impact of pesticides", despite admitting "no-one knows for certain what is causing bee losses". Right, makes perfect sense.

Every visit, we now look forward to our nonsensical / bizarre / depressingly mundane statement, hoping it's one preposterous enough to top the bee question. We haven't seen any other retailers bastardising their payment terminal in this way, but let us know which do and what they want to know from you.


  • Dirty F.
    There must be something better to slag off than this...
  • Milky
    Well some of the wankers involved in bee keeping (can't remember which society name) were actually taking money from GM / pesticide firms (amounting to alot of money) thus a splinter group was formed. Incidentally where certain pesticides have been banned (all over europe BUT NOT HERE) bee's are on the increase... well that speaks mounds!
  • Matt
    "Are you Feeling Lucky?" Yes, No.
  • MattWPBS
    "Would you like to gamble?" Yes / No
  • The B.
    “Are you worried about the bees?” As Wonky Henry might say "Fuck 'em", actually he's more likely to "bum them" but hey ho.
  • WOPR
    "Would you like to play a game?" Yes / No
  • Milky
    Dave? what are you doing Dave?
  • Lemmingjuice
    "Have you stopped beating your wife?" Yes/No
  • Nobby
    "Do you give a fuck about stupid questionnaires?" Yes / No.
  • Your M.
    "WTF IS DIS REAL" Yes / No.
  • Joe
    "Would you like to play a nice game of chess?" Yes / No
  • James D.
    Does Bitter Wallet delete too many posts?
  • Soot d.
    "Do you wnat to increase your bill" Yes/ Yes
  • dunfyboy
    "Does Bitter Wallet delete too many posts?" Yes, which of course means they moderate their blog and should therefore be held accountable should some bell end try to sue them just because some bell end called them a bell end on here.
  • tin
    I like their tellys at each checkout which, rather than showing you what you bought and what is cost, show you some adverts for stuff. I like adverts. I especially like adverts with the little flash player settings box in the middle.
  • Paul
    Yo, swarming bees tend not to sting. They fill up with honey to take with them which physically prevents them from the stinging action, innit.

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