Now students needn't starve thanks to Asda
The new academic year is upon us, and for thousands of 18-year-olds, a new life as a student beckons. The start of a three year odyssey of sex, drugs, booze and a smattering of education, more often than not in a town or city well away from the prying eyes of mum or dad.
But mum or dad fret themselves sick about their little mites and worry that they won’t be eating properly, spending all their spare cash on illegal downloading and heroin instead of textbooks and vegetables.
Thanks to a new initiative from Asda, those parents can sleep slightly easier, without worrying so much. That’s because they can get an Asda Student Shopper Card and make sure their kids are spending money on nutritious foodstuffs instead of crack and porn.
Parents can go online or instore to pre-pay money (a maximum of £500) on to the card which the student child then spends on good stuff like wholemeal bread and fresh cranberry juice. The parents then feel more relaxed and the child doesn’t die from rickets before Christmas.
Of course (and we’re playing devil’s advocate here), there’s always the possibility that the child will splurge the dosh that lurks inside their Student Shopper Card on cheap sherry (£2.97 for 75cl) and all the stuff that’s needed to make a crude, rudimentary pipe bomb.