Now students needn't starve thanks to Asda

asda student card The new academic year is upon us, and for thousands of 18-year-olds, a new life as a student beckons. The start of a three year odyssey of sex, drugs, booze and a smattering of education, more often than not in a town or city well away from the prying eyes of mum or dad.

But mum or dad fret themselves sick about their little mites and worry that they won’t be eating properly, spending all their spare cash on illegal downloading and heroin instead of textbooks and vegetables.

Thanks to a new initiative from Asda, those parents can sleep slightly easier, without worrying so much. That’s because they can get an Asda Student Shopper Card and make sure their kids are spending money on nutritious foodstuffs instead of crack and porn.

Parents can go online or instore to pre-pay money (a maximum of £500) on to the card which the student child then spends on good stuff like wholemeal bread and fresh cranberry juice. The parents then feel more relaxed and the child doesn’t die from rickets before Christmas.

Of course (and we’re playing devil’s advocate here), there’s always the possibility that the child will splurge the dosh that lurks inside their Student Shopper Card on cheap sherry (£2.97 for 75cl) and all the stuff that’s needed to make a crude, rudimentary pipe bomb.


  • AyePet
    What bloody student buys sherry? Have students all turned into Dot Cotton of late?
  • Mclovin
    i just finished my first year and got my shopping done every week for 15 quid..... god bless asda.
  • FooBar
    Sainsburys have been running a scheme like this for years. And the number moving away from home is dropping every year. You can't get rid of the little bastards at all these days.
  • kev
    why not just make them get a PT job, rather than Daddy paying for everything?
  • PaulH
    They're all hipsters anyway so I say screw em!
  • The B.
    I'm with PaulH, we should all screw students, especially the lookers with pert breasts.
  • NickT
    @ The Real Bob :)
  • PaulH
    @ The Real Bob Yeah while looking into those thick rimmed glasses even though she has prefect 20/20 vision
  • Gadget 4.
    Why would students spend their spare cash on illegal downloading? I thought the whole attraction of it was that it was free, if you are going to pay you might as well go legal.
  • Bob
  • Lyssie
    ...or, you know, a four-year odyssey up here in Scotland ;-)
    I wish I had stayed a student all my life instead of finding a job of course those days there was no Wetherspoons and Yates to lounge about in with cheap booze to boot, we brewed our own which left half of us blind, impotent or both, the other half just died.
  • Bill B.
    Isn't this just a gift card?
  • Paul C.
    It's more like a pay as you go card controlled by a third party because that person is not responsibleenough to manage their finances. I can see its application being pertinent to the mentally ill - particularly those with dementia, and also gambling addicts.
  • jools
    asda advertise this as free, yet charge a whopping £4.75 delivery charge. whats wrong with putting it in an envelope with a first class stamp .
  • interactive h.
    I liked up to you will obtain performed right here. The cartoon is tasteful, your authored material stylish. however, you command get got an shakiness over that you would like be handing over the following. in poor health no doubt come further in the past again since exactly the same nearly a lot often inside case you shield this increase.

What do you think?

Your comment