Sorry, but your local branch of Barclays no longer exists

Barclays are toying with the idea of closing a quarter of its high street branches, which has led to fears of staff cuts and job losses in the banking industry.


New boss Anthony ‘Slasher’ Jenkins may also cut management jobs at their investment bank, which has already seen 1600 job losses – and in a bid to reduce costs, he’s cut company travel allowances, too.

But while it’s hard to shed too many tears about upper echelon bank managers losing their jobs and having to trade their company car in for a Vauxhall Corsa off Gumtree, branch workers will be most affected if the plan goes ahead.

Jenkins is a firm believer in using technology to replace people – and there’s talk that he’s planning to get rid of 40,000 staff in the next few years. Yes, all those underpaid people who have to watch you plead to get an extension on your overdraft...the people on the front line who have to pretend to really want to help you – they’ll be on the dole.

Meanwhile, at Lloyds, 15,000 people have been made redundant in the last 3 years, and in the latest cull, 560 relationship managers are also for the chop, as well as 1000 of its small business managers.

So, if your branch is even there at all in the next few years, don't expect to see any staff. Because they'll all be outside selling the Big Issue and you'll be standing there yelling at an uncomprehending machine.


  • Han S.
    Apart from the fact they aren't - - Let's not get facts get in the way though eh?
  • Merkin G.
    Get Rid of that Ferally Fucking Trolley rust bucket
  • hypocrite j.
    They are so licky

What do you think?

Your comment