Scumbag Corner – a round-up from the financial sector

uk-money.jpg The banks are still trying to get their heads around the fact that they can no longer charge customers vast, disproportionate sums of money every time they exceed their overdraft limit – and it’s troubling them deeply.

Don’t worry though, because they’re looking at alternative ways of getting back all that money that made that wasn’t rightfully theirs in the first place. It’s a little bit like a burglar being released from prison, accepting that breaking into houses was wrong and turning his attentions to mugging old ladies instead.

The newspapers are speculating on how the banks will claw back all that dirty money and the Daily Mail are suggesting that charges for cash machine withdrawals could be introduced. Helpfully. they fail to back up this claim with any quotes that might actually give their story any foundation. Good old Daily Mail – helping disrupt the sleep of millions of their readers every day.

Elsewhere, it’s cheques that could be in the firing line. The Payments Council might sound like an acid jazz combo but they’re actually a group made up from representatives of all the banks. On December 16th they’ll be voting over whether or not to scrap cheques forever by 2018.


Good for them – it costs them a pound to process a cheque and that money is obviously eating an unacceptable hole in their vast profits. Well, even though hardly anyone is using cheques any more, which must be the main reason for scrapping them. [Bitterwallet does stat check] – yep, only 3.8 million cheques are written every day. Just four per cent of all payments. That’s a poxy amount. Ban them now we say!

Finally from Scumbag Corner, you’d expect the Financial Ombudsman Service to be a holier-than-thou organisation, staffed by right-thinking folk all keen to see that fair play wins every time there’s a clash between customer and financial corporation.

Sadly, and inevitably, you’d be wrong. A former FOS adjudicator has turned whistleblower, explaining how staff are set near-impossible targets to meet when it comes to clearing cases, meaning that scores of cases are under-investigated and justice is rarely done.

Adjudicators also receive little training beyond a one-day induction course and many of them are ill-equipped to deal with the complex cases that they are expected to investigate. A spokesman for the ombudsman more or less backed up this claim by telling The Times: “Our work would be much easier if businesses dealt with us and their customers in plain English.”

Aw, bless them...


  • James
    Christ! Who saw this coming? The mirror suggests that the banks are considering a fee of around £2.50 for each use of the cash machine. Lets imagine one use per week and the charge for the overdraft that Halifax have introduced of a £1 a day and they are getting £495 a year of your money or lets call it 16.5 overdrawn charges in old money, except you have to pay it as its no longer a penalty so all customers will be liable. Banking reform just a politically correct way of saying we are all in for a collosall ass fucking.
  • James
    This may come as a great surprise to you but I should also point out that the Mirror have also quoted no sources so I imagine they wrote possible prices on a dartsboard and blindfolded the fittest office girl to throw darts at it whilst they checked out her tits.
  • James
    My comment is awaiting moderation?? this is censorhip, I feel like Nick Griffin.
  • Snakebite
    @ James: Colossal Ass-Fucking - Classic summary :)
  • Nobby
    I reckon they should charge £20 for those large cheques that they use on Children in Need and other charity shows. They must be a right pain in the ars to process.
  • dave
    James "I feel like Nick Griffin" - you feel like a racist bigot?
  • Frogman
    Typical lazy to conjure up 500 words before popping down to pub.
  • James
    No I meant Nick Griffin from family guy, even though in the context of censorship that makes no sense at all.
  • Spencer
    I cant say for certain in if I'm Brian, What I can definitely however, is that as long as it contains the appropriate amounts, account number, dates and a signature, you can use anything as a cheque! such as an envelope, tissue paper, back of an instructional leaflet or a brick. Of course, the bank would most likely tell you to get lost if you dumped a dead, shaved cat on the counter with "pay cash" carved into it's carcass, but nonetheless, it is true that anything can be a cheque.
  • Bett T.
    @James: dont you mean peter griffin??
  • mjpl
    Shit! I thought I had dug my way out of that one.
  • Mandy B.
    Some companies (note, not banks so DOWN rabid apologists) already charge £1.50-£2 to use their cash machines. Cunts

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