Old people take financial advisor hostage!
There's some breaking news over at the BBC about some vigilante old people! In what is shaping up to be the Feel Good Story Of The Day, four German pensioners have been found guilty of kidnapping the financial adviser who they blamed for US property investments that went tits-up.
The court found that two retired couples kidnapped James Amburn and tried to force him to refund 2.5m euros (£2.25m; $3.4m) in lost investments.
When the dirty banker man didn't, they took him from his home in western Germany and drove him 450km (280 miles) to southern Bavaria.
There, they probably did the pensioner equivalent of water-boarding and spit washed him ever three seconds and coochi-cooed him unless his brain bled. The finance man was freed after hiding a message to call police in a fax to his Swiss bank. Only old people would be stupid enough to let a hostage use the fax machine.