Northern Rock sold off to beardy businessman

northern-rock The ‘government’ have finally offloaded Northern Rock, the bank that was taken into public ownership in 2008 after it went completely tits up. And the lucky new owner is… Virgin Money!

The public purse will be swollen to the tune of £747m as a result of the deal, which sees the healthy Northern Rock plc being handed over to Richard Branson. The other part of the bank, Northern Rock (Asset Management) was where all the toxic debt was placed, and it is believed that this will be towed out into the Atlantic Ocean and explodified.

The manchild chancellor Gideon Osborne trilled: “The sale of Northern Rock to Virgin Money is an important first step in getting the British taxpayer out of the business of owning banks. It represents value for money, will increase choice on the High Street for customers, and safeguards jobs in the North East” (where the bank’s HQ will remain).

It is unknown whether ‘Osborne’ knows what or where the North East is.


  • The B.
    "The public purse will be swollen to the tune of £747m as a result of the deal" No it won't, the public purse purchased (if saving it's arse can be called such) Northern Rock for £1.4 Billion, so the public purse just lost £653 million.
  • Dick
    Why did Boeing have to call them 747s? If they had called them 1047s instead we could have got more money for Northern Rock. I assume that is how the government evaluated the worth of Northern Rock.
  • Joe
    "Manchild chancellor Gideon Osborne" made me snort.
  • klingelton
    @ bob, that was going to be my question - how much did the public lose from the deal. where did all the toxic debt go? surely an organisation that has been stripped of it's debt is worth MORE than what the uk taxpayer paid for it. oh well.
  • Enforcer
    I'm sure most of the toxic debt will be paid off with the enforced 3% pay cut, or pension contributions as the 'government' put it, that we are all going to have to make come October.
  • House t.
    [...] to come in from investors to inflate the value of properties in London at a boost to statistics. At the same time we have recently acquired £50billion of mortgage debt from the sale of Northern Ro... Oh yeah, we sold the bank to Branson…but kept the shitty liabilities that had mounted up from [...]
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