Cost of bringing up kids rises by £5000

People are putting off having kids because they’re so bloody expensive to keep in nappies, booze and iPads. Now it costs an average of £227,226 to bring up one of the little buggers until they’re 21– and even then they probably won’t be able to afford to leave home and will sit forever on your sofa, smoking pot and killing hookers in Grand Theft Auto.


According to a survey by LV= one in five would-be parents are delaying having children because they just can’t afford them. In fact with the sky high cost of living, and the ridiculously inflated cost of childcare – not to mention child benefit cuts – it’s a wonder we haven’t all gone down the clinic to get our tubes tied.

Anyway, if you are already a parent, I’m sure you’ll be delighted to hear that EVERY SINGLE cost involved in bringing up a child has increased.

If you are going to have a kid, though, here’s a top tip – move to Wales. Welsh children are cheaper to raise for some reason, at £210,715. But whatever you do don’t bring them up in London, where visits to Giraffe and Boden togs for little Atticus and Boudicca will set you back an eye-watering £224,997.

Hmm, looks like it’s vasectomy time, guys!


  • Red M.
    Vasectomy? I think it should be sterilisation for girls.
  • iForgot
    So the "eye-watering" London costs are nearly £2.5k less than the national average? Or is this another classic Lucy fuck-up?
  • shiftynifty
    iForgot....leave Lucy alone....she brings a hard -cutting edge realism to her thought-provoking ground breaking stories...
  • jokester4
    ^^^ I want some of what shiftynifty's having...
  • shiftynifty
    Yes ....I`m havin it large jokester4!!!!!
  • coswallop
    Lucy always ends her copy/paste articles with a 'witty' comment to add that personal touch. She is soooo funny with it. Cant wait for her next attempt.

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