The unofficial Walkers New Flavours vote starts NOW

3 March 2009

All those in the Bitterwallet office are partial to a little crisp rustling. It's not uncommon for Andy to batter a man to death over the final packet of Worcester Sauce on the shelf, and there isn't a brand of Prawn Cocktail that hasn't gone untested by my gut. And we rarely see eye-to-eye on such world-shattering matters.

So it's no surprise we've been sucked into the latest marketing ruse by Walkers to introduce a new flavour of crisp to the nation. But given that we gents are so passionate about our fried potato intake and the flavourings thereof, it's unusual we've found ourselves in consistent agreement regarding the six varieties being put to a public vote; they're all, to a bag, shit.

Onion Bhaji flavoured crisps should be the easiest to get right, since the world has adored Cheese & Onion since the dawn of time. Take out the cheese, stir in the Indian spices. Simple? Apparently not, because the result is a crisp that has had all flavour - including that of potato - removed at the molecular level.

Chilli and Chocolate are poor bedfellows; again the chilli element is proven but the chocolate is a heavy mouthful. Builders Breakfast taste of bacon and arse. Cajun Squirrel is simply spicy and gets away with it because few people can quantify the squirrelly element. Duck and Hoi Sin Sauce tastes of something as far removed from the description as it's possible to get. And Fish and Chips - fish flavour... and potato flavour. Genius.

A disgrace, the lot of them - the most insulting participation contest the public has seen. Walkers are urging the public to pick their favourite, but we can't wait; we want to know what you think of these six bastardisations right now. Is there any flavour that could become as iconic as Salt & Vinegar or Prawn Cocktail, or is it well executed marketing campaign that's all mouth and no trousers?

TOPICS:   Advertising

29 comments

  • -=Mike H.
    Battering a man to death for the last packet of Worcestershire Sauce flavoured crisps is the only offence permitted in the UK and is actually encouraged.
  • Michael
    Agree about the Builder's Breakfast, they're bacon crisps with half the flavouring. gutted about the onion bhaji too.
  • crispy l.
    Frankly they all taste really sh1t, the Fish and Chip ones smell like a dirty fishy fanny :( BLAHHHHHHH I know lets make up another crap flavour: garys dick cheese & onion :)
  • The b.
    "Cheese and Chilli are poor bedfellows; again the chilli element is proven but the chocolate is a heavy mouthful." Can I claim my £1 for spotting the (obviously) deliberate mistake? Or are you going to take it back again as I'm a pedant?
  • Roberto
    You're on crack mate, the Fish & Chip flavour is spot on - like Scampi Fries in a potato chip rather than a little wheaty pillow! The Builders Breakfast are also pretty decent although admittedly heavy on the egg, but I pretty much agree with the rest - all awful.
  • Amanda H.
    I was one of the saddo's that came up with the flavours, I, along with 3 other million saddo's came up with Crispy Duck & Hoi sin Sauce. [GETALIFE]Walkers sent me a certificate with my name on too [/GETALIFE]. The only half decent tasting one though is Fish and chips, maybe its because of crispy lips suggestion as to why I like them soooo much, slurp.
  • Paul S.
    @The Real Bob Corrected... (obviously :))
  • jinkssick
    tried only chilli and chocolate and fish and chips and I didnt like either. Both incredibly awful. They are so bad I wonder that they seemed a good idea under brainstorming but there was no success in the laboratory.
  • The b.
    Has anyone tried Cajun Squirrel? It's a bit non specific, just a nasty chemical flavour, I'm not too sure sure what they were aiming for but it's a bit more squirrel drowned in chemical treatment plant. Fish and chips is a bit scampi/manky flange and lemon, Duck and Hoi sin??? Were Walkers not already aware they did a Duck and Hoi sin in their posh range and that it tastes like second hand toilet paper (apparently, I have no idea myself, honest).
  • Martin
    I submitted "Lineker's Gonads (After a Match)" Flavour. It was disqualified as it used a Trademark.
  • Will
    Wow you lot really do love a moan dont you, i thought the fish and chips and the builder breakfast ones were pretty good and didnt mind the Choc and Chilli ones. At the end of the day it a nice change to get something than the usual flavours to try. If you dont like them, fair enough but no need to have a hernia over it, geez, you tried them , didnt like them, move on.
  • Andy D.
    @Amanda Hugginkiss - A certificate? Ooooh! Royalties from sales? Nope? The bastards.
  • The B.
    In fact Tyrrells are the Gods of crisps: Beef & Horseradish Worcester Sauce and Sun Dried Tomato Ludlow Sausage with Wholegrain mustard Ale & Cheese
  • Jassen
    The Fish and Chips flavour is rather good, not tried the rest though. Disappointed to hear Duck in Hoisin Sauce isn't good.
  • zeddy
    Those onion bhaji ones are pretty tasty. Better than the rest of the crap on offer in the promotion. I agree about the fishy fanny flavoured ones.
  • zeddy
    Ouch! The missus says I have no idea what a fishy fanny smells like. I agree apparently.
  • mister o.
    only tried two, and this was only because my kids insisted. first up, choc and chilli-tases of stale, damp crisps with a chilli kick to the throat. nasty and horrid, i'll pass on these thanks. second, builders breakfast-smells ok but the taste, OMG THE TASTE!! it is horrific. its would be better described as vomit flavour, it conjours up images of licking someone elses kebab vom from the gutter outside the greasiest food shop you could imagine, 12 hours after it was ejected. after that experience, i have no wish to try any others. PRAWN COCKTAIL SEABROOKS FTW! fuck walkers.
  • Haleema
    I think Chilli Choc was awright! A bit too chocolatey but It was SOMETHING DIFFERENT! Onion Bhaji was quite good as was Cajun Squirrel... But the rest of them.......Bleurgh! I sent in a flavour idea(I was EXTREMELY bored) -drumroll-.......................... Sausage and Ice Cream! Lolz Takes you back,doesnt it?
  • Fred C.
    Crisps and snacks are much bigger producer of plastic and alu wrapper waste than suppermarket shopping bags. Overall people in the UK munch their way through 6,000 million bags of crisps and 4,400 million packs of savoury snacks every year. That is a lot of wrappers!
  • PeeJee
    Builder's Breakfast have an over-powering taste of FAT imho. Cajun Squirrel are nothing special. Not tried the others TBH. When I was a lad I really enjoyed Smith's crisps. Their savoury vinegar flavour was the dogs. I'd welcome that back over any of the "shortlisted" Walkers.
  • bar n.
    cheese'n'fish - we all know they come together brilliantly.
  • Nine
    How do they get away with the squirrel one? Look at the ingredients: there's not even a hint of squirrel in it. I thought trade desciptions prohibited this sort of thing.
  • The D.
    I've tried the Cajun Squirrel & Duck and Hoisin. The Cajun Squirrel - very bland and uninteresting. I thought the Crispy Duck and Hoisin were quite nice and I can definetly see myself buying them again. Don't think any of them will ever replace either Cheese and Onion, Chicken or Roast Beef as my crisp of choice.
  • Wurzel
    Why would you eat those crappy Walkers crisps when Seabrooks are available ?
  • Fish C.
    [...] a foodie like me, you’ll have been keeping up with Walkers’ new range of, erm, interesting crisp flavours. One of these flavours especially interests this blogger because it’s… ‘Fish & [...]
  • DJ J.
    Seabrooks used to be my most favourite crisps but since they went into the new foil packs - they suck. They used to promote "see what you buy" before they changed to foil packaging. The crisps are thinner now, they've ruined all the flavours and basically it seems everyone who knew how to make Seabrooks Crisps left one day and never came back. They used to be full of flavour and the pack used to be full to bursting with crisps... plus they always tasted fresh without sneaky "hide your crisps" foil packaging... Obviously just an excuse not to have fresh crisps but so you can have ones that have been sat in a around supermarket for longer... If they ever make a time machine I'm going back to get some original Seabrooks how they used to be, some scampy Nik Naks that used to make your fingers pong and sometimes came out stuck together like tree branches, a proper Aero before Nestle took over and ruined them, a proper old school Toblerone before Kraft ruined them, some proper original syrupy Vimto and some real Sarsaparilla Tablets that used to be made with proper sassafras oil. Yummy. Ooooh I bet I'll need to grab some Cadburys stuff if Kraft are going to take them over and spoil thing too.
  • JUNE
    Please bring back Savoury Vinegar crisps (Originally by Smiths in the 70's) They were amazing!!!
  • Davis
    Most "new" crisps taste the same as existing ones to me. Perhaps its my age or my taste buds need something stronger. So please bring back Savoury Vinegar.
  • BRIGGITTE
    Best crisps was savoury vinegar, bovril or even sausage & tomato someone bring them back

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