Tesco announce 20,000 new jobs so that we'll like them again

5 March 2012

Tesco have announced that they are about to create 20,000 new jobs, in what looks like a concerted attempt to get back the public’s goodwill following their recent controversial involvement in the government’s toxic ‘workfare’ programme.

Tesco say that the jobs will be full and part-time positions, with some apprenticeship placements as well, and will be created by opening new stores. If you ask us, the best way to get the public back on their side would be to bring back these amazingly hypnotic ads from the 1970s. We’ve played this one on a loop for the best part of two hours now…

TOPICS:   Advertising   Economy


  • Sicknote
    If you asked a Tesco staff member for a 15 & 3/4 Oz tin of baked beans they'd shrug their shoulders, grunt and probably stab you in face. Tesco are shit - Yay.....!!!
  • maxtweenie
    Why was everything 'and a half p?' No wonder I had so many of those little buggers in my pocket in 1977.
  • shoplifter
    Sold shit food even back in the day
  • Mr B.
    They got rid of the half pence ages ago, so why can't we get rid of the .9 pence in the petrol/diesel prices Who carries around 0.9 pence these days
  • Aunt S.
    Oh, i love Ski yoghurt! And the way that tin at 0:32 falls off is just artistic bliss. Bravo!!!
  • Sicknote
    Oh yes, the 1/2 pence - I never realised that Tescab were fucking my parents over on the weekly shop with all those pesky 1/2 pence additions. Once a cunt always a cunt eh Tescat......
  • Dick
    Yeah, the Ski yoghurt pots that wouldn't stack when empty. I remember them.
  • The B.
    Quosh? Quosh? Who the bloody hell drank Quosh? Well, apart from the Allens who lived down the road, everyone drank Robinsons, Quash was posh peoples drink.
  • samuri
    The only thing that stayed in the seventies is there colour scheme and fuck dull lighting
  • shoplifter
    Shit goods....shit shop
  • Me
    1 full time, 19,999 part time of an hour each?
  • The P.
    Apple are claiming to have generated 210 000 iOS developer jobs in the past four years. They have been paid $4 000 000 000 in total over the past four years so that makes $5000 each per year (before tax). That's how you're allowed to measure jobs these days. Some will actually earn enough to live on and some will earn next to nothing but they are all counted as Jobs in the "statistics".
  • tin
    BS anyway, whether there will be more people working at Tesco or not. The local presense of Tsco will put enough small privately run local firms (that need owners, management, staff, suppliers, service companies etc) out of business and put everyone involved out of work to completely outweigh the net jobs benefit. Not to mention they're employing less people by giving you the benefit of self checkout.
  • Frank P.
    Tesco are shit. I much prefer Presto.

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