Red Bull: No wings pay-out
It turns out that the slogan "Red Bull gives you wings", which the company had been using for over a decade is false. It doesn't actually give you wings.
SORRY TO BREAK IT TO YOU THIS WAY.
Anyone who felt slighted by not obtaining wings after glugging down the syrupy energy gloop, can now take advantage of a cash reimbursement from Red Bull, after they set $13 million aside into an account.
Figuring that it would quietly die down, the company's website has now been inundated with claims, with the likelihood of the settlement devaluing somewhat from the initial $10 to less than $3, due to an internet storm.
The site has been visited over four million times now, but as no proof of purchase is needed - anyone could feasibly waltz in and say that they broke their back jumping from a block of flats under the proviso that wings would occur, and that'd be cool apparently.
You have until March 2015 to claim your pay-out (which will be next-to-nothing) if you were in anyway affected by the lack of wings.
Of course, if they had advertised it as 'Red Bull gives you a massive headache and buggers about with your sleep patterns' then there'd be none of this palaver.
God help us if there's a war.