In the future, billboards will react to your mood

28 February 2011


Do you like the idea of adverts reacting to your mood and talking to you? If you're anything like us, then all commercials will have to learn how to say "We're sorry you're really irritable all the time. It isn't our fault. Blame the bastards who programmed me."

The thought of our television sets peering back at us is one thing, but what about them staring at us everywhere we go? Sadly, it seems that is going to be the case as shadowy vendors of shit look toward making intuitive advertising billboards.

But not to worry! It won't be until some far off future where we all have hover cars and hologram bongo flicks, right? Wrong. This could be happening next year.

With cameras and software (d'uh), these horrible spying commercials will look at your face and decide what mood you're in and then respond with the appropriate advert. It wouldn't surprise us if scientist sorts are actually creating Cup-A-Soup monsters to leap out from behind billboard to come and hug-rape us if we're grimacing even slightly.

And worse yet, it is being dubbed 'gladvertising'. This will presumably rename people in advertising 'Gladmen' or, as we prefer, 'megacunts'.

The press release says: "For example, if the system identifies unhappy consumers walking towards a billboard, adverts for chocolate and sun drenched holidays might be displayed."

Great. So if you're depressed about your weight or being broke, fat snacks and holidays you can't afford is going to cheer us all up no end isn't it?


TOPICS:   Advertising   Technology


  • question e.
    You remove a link to a lolz-y pic of a girl getting anally piledrived, giving the reason "this is a family website", yet you pop the un-family friendly phrase 'megacunts' in this article. Consistency BW. Otherwise, great site.
  • Willi W.
    Will they allow tobacco advertising again, since it can be tailored towards adults and not kids? If so, point your camera at a photo of Bill Clinton and enjoy the cigar ads.
  • Brad
    What will come up when I walk round wearing my Josef Fritzl mask?
  • Jason
    "John Anderton, you could use a Guinness right now."
  • hippy
    maybe its time to start wearing a gortex balaclava from now on
  • The B.
    His hair is silver His balls are gold There isn't a marketable product That he hasn't sold I think therefore Kiam.

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