Commercial Break: Uh oh, Purity Bear is back...
Thinking about having some mad, thrusting rumpy-pumpy this weekend with someone who isn’t your spouse? Before you do (and you probably will), spare a thought for Purity Bear, back again in a sequel to his previous filthy fun-spoiling antics.
If you DO choose to do the horizontal sex-pump outside of wedlock, you will almost certainly break Purity Bear’s heart. And every time a bear’s heart is broken, a swan gets a sharp pain in its neck. And every time a swan gets a pain in its neck, a puffin explodes. And every time a puffin explodes, an angel is disfigured in a celestial chip pan fire. Is that what you want?