Commercial Break: Is THIS the worst advert ever made?

14 October 2010

Late last night, very late in fact, as drowsiness kicked in, I saw this new advert for pasta during a break on Channel 4. It stars erstwhile TV and radio ‘personality’ Tim Lovejoy and some beautiful Italian woman who unfortunately can’t act.

The whole thing sickened me and my immediate reaction was that I wanted the sun to explode and engulf Mother Earth with its fiery spatter. After sharing this thought on Twitter, and linking to the ad, the following opinions came back to me…

“Isn't it just the shittest advert ever?”

“Tim Lovejoy makes me want to spunk drawing pins”

“What you do that for?”

“That's so bad it's almost offensive.”

“Saw that on the idiot lantern yesterday. Didn't realise it was Lovejoy, just thought it was some random cock end.”

“I just watched it. I hate you now.”

“I just vomited all over myself. Intentionally. Now I might step on a discarded rake & hit myself in the face. Intentionally.”

“I wouldn't piss up Tim Lovejoy's arse if his kidneys were on fire.”

“Sweet holy shit....”

"Oh great, now I've watched that fecal sod of an advert I want to scoop my eyes out and hurl them at the wall."

The only positive comment I received was…

“She's nice though, innit?”

So there you go Giovanni Rana – there’s a few opinions on your latest advert. Good luck with it yeah?

TOPICS:   Advertising


  • Andrew R.
    “I wouldn’t piss up Tim Lovejoy’s arse if his kidneys were on fire.” Almost made me spit coffee. Bravo.
  • my2p
    I like it when she fluffs her lines: "The tortellini already has a delicious bolognese... (er what was next? oh yeah) filling inside" Probably due to the fact that she was forced to say bolognese wrong so it wouldn't offend any ignorant Brit's sensibilities...
  • Ed L.
    Probably the most disappointing video I've ever seen involving an Italian hottie teasing a giant cock.
  • Bleary
    I was lucky enough to see this last night. I had to repeatedly slam my head in the car door to forget, thanks for bringing the memories back Andy.
  • Foxy L.
    WtF... is dis real?
  • Dazza
    I saw the commercial last night too... the third of your comments was mine. After a disturbed nights sleep I know feel I never be able to eat pasta again. He has fucked it for me. Italy has been my favourite holiday destination for years... but he has probably fucked that too. Has for her? No self-respect.
  • Haymesy
    Aah, former Watford supporter Timmy Lovejoy.
  • Dazza
  • PaulH
    Tim Lovejoy needs an anvil to the face...He is clearly in his late 30's early 40's and still trying to cling on to his youth...the amount of bolloxs he spouts on 'Something for the weekend'..."Oh yeah, I was doing shots the other week...with all my mates...after the football...geeza!" This advert just adds to the notion he's a complete nipple head /rant
  • Paul C.
    Lovejoy... you were tolerable on Soccer Am - this is beyond the pail. Where's Tubes when you need a cameo? Still, I'd like to stuff her bolognese though. Poor girl.
  • Alexis
    Refreshing to see an ad done in one take.
  • Nice R.
    I quite like Tim Lovejoy. At least he's not Richard Bacon.
  • RobS
    What really pisses me of is that some c*nt in a marketing meeting sat and watched the advert and said "Yeah....I like it......lets go with that one". For that reason I hope Giovanni sell nothing ever again and the marketing prick is sacked, divorced and left penny-less having to survive on uncooked Lidl pasta shells for the rest of his (hopefully) short life.
  • Brad
    Lovejoy should have stuck to Soccer Am, it was the pinnacle of his career. That isnt saying much, and why is he putting cheese on it at the end, thsi ad so full of cheese I can smell it though the screen.
  • Harry F.
    I'd fuck her and then wipe my cock with his hair.
  • Tim H.
    Why the hell would you let his hair near your cock, weirdo. I'd fuck her, wipe my cock on the pasta, then cook Lovejoy at high heat and force him through the colander while saying "Parmigiano?".
  • Needle E.
    Holy shit. After viewing I noticed there is even a 'behind the scenes'. Don't ask me why I felt compelled to watch a further two minutes of this shitbake but I did. And it was equally, if not more, painful. There's a whole room full of cunts making it look like they worked really hard and were real perfectionists for detail. Hell even Tim Twatjoy says he loves the director because he's a real perfectionist. Fuck. Me. The director is clearly a slightly overweight smug cunt who has resigned himself to the fact his career never really took off the way he hoped it would and he is to be forever destined to turn out toss like this for clueless marketing executives who last watched an advert in 1974. On cable television. In Uzbekistan.
  • Brad
    I just watched this again and I have a few questions. 1, If you burnt something really hot why would you bring it to the next flat to show how you fucked it up? 2, Who the fuck is he going round next door to ask for pasta from the Italian bird? If i'd done that to the local Asian family for Curry powder, or the local Chinese family for some prawn crackers id have unite against Fascism's league knocking on the door, Fuck he might as well turned up at the door dressed as one of the Mario brothers! 3, Like the way he just invites myself in for dinner like that, "fuck off back to your bedsit Lovejoy" would have been the next words out my mouth. I need answers.
  • Ben
    I too have viewed the "behind the scenes". 1. This video cost at LEAST £10K to film. They had a person specially burning the chicken, filmed on film, crew of about 15-20.... fuck me sideways. 2. "I love the director, he's such a perfectionist." Is he? why the fuck is he wearing sunglasses indoors? and a suit jacket? Sam Raimi wears suits to set. For his multi-million dollar A-List hollywood blockbuster films. If you're filming for Asda spaghetti, you should be wearing a stained vest, tracky bottoms and flipflops. 3. "I can't wait to get the next script, to see what happens next!" WHAT.
  • Al
    I still have nightmares after watching the last advert which featured Ann Widdecombe promoting Giovanni Rana ... time to fire some of their marketing department I think.
  • Wibble
    Here, nosh on that luv..... ....Then you can have the pasta for afters. Oh, you appear to have some Bechamel sauce on your face.....
  • Matt
    "Is this the worst advert ever made?" No, it's cringeworthy i'll give you that. However them bloody awful 'go compare' adverts are still in fact the worst ones
  • Tom l.
    Tim Lovejoy is a fucking cunt
  • DON'T C.
    Fuck me, if I knocked around at a neigbours and said "Shit, I've just burnt me fackin tea,and my guest'll be here in a minute..." You know what would happen? The Polish twat next door would smile nervously, fart, and then play the "me no speako da lingo" game. Or I'd get some prick saying "Just phone a fuckin pizza". And that Italian bird? Oh, fit as fuck like. I'd chuck my sauce right over her tortellini's, any day. She'd be loud as fuck as you are there, grinding away at her like an Italian waiter with the black pepper. Lovejoy is a wanker.
  • stop a.
    er, is anyone gonna give me the name of that babe of babes - i need a name as a reference whilst i dream of dousing her nipples with my love juice! Who the fuck is Tim Lovejoy?
  • Crocodile J.
    No, it's not the worst ad of all time, this is: (warning also "stars" Tim Lovejoy). As for the italian lady, she is rather lovely. Oh, and those halifax adverts when they are pretending to be DJ's are bad. Real bad.
  • Dangler
    She can't act. She can't remember a couple of lines. But she's probably the tastiet thing on TV at the moment. She does give her name on the 'making of' video but I can't make it out. I think I need to find someone Italian to listen and give their opinion. I'd love to know who she is, she's more appealing than any amount of pasta.

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