Commercial Break: Buy this and prove the sword world wrong

15 July 2011

“The sword world continues to overlook, in my opinion, the efficiency and power and... majesty of this great sword.”

That’s the proud boast in this QVC-esque advert for a mighty piece of cold steel, as presented by a Bill Werbenuik lookalike. See how it deals with pieces of beef, a block of ice, a pair of boots, some pig carcasses and a bin that's been filled to the brim with green water.

It stabs, hacks, crushes and breaks and as Bill says, what more do you want from a sword? Exactly!

You all HAVE swords right? Swords!

[BoingBoing via @james_blue_cat)

TOPICS:   Advertising


  • Stringer B.
    I wasn't convinced until they popped the balloon... now I'm definitely getting one.
  • Marky M.
    Note to brain: never, ever go to America.
  • The B.
    I befriended a couple of dudes from "Kiss My Axe" when I used to work at Glastonbury Festival, they had some very nice swords they let me play with, I prefer a good chainsaw myself but swords are a good second choice.
  • Darren
    Rubbish, They did not do the Iphone4/Ipad 2 Test. At the end of the day, smashing that kinda I-crap to pieces is the only worthwhile thing with a sword like that. D
  • Steve
    Hmm, not sure about two-handed swords - they slow you down a bit...
  • Will
    I lol'd at the pig that cut halfedvia the nut sack. Quality stuff.
  • slasher
    i now understand why the yanks declined joey barton a visa, imagine the terror he would inflict on the opposition with that majestic sword.
  • Big C.
    I want to fuck those guys wives - just to see what happens when they find out.
  • Boris
    Let the ugly fat man face me with my Daishō. He will taste his own blood as he begs for mercy. There can be only one!
  • MIke U.
    My name is Duncan Macleod from the clan Macleod and yooove got ma facking sword!!!
  • Grey5cale
    what a fucking waste of perfectly good meat
  • Milky
    I've temporarily mislaid my kitchen scissors & i've got a pound of linked sausages (lamb & mint) that need cutting & the oven is on pre-heat right now! it's a bit urgent, will this be up to the job mr fat salesman. Incidentally, if you put one of these by the front door to scare intruders make sure your hallway & door are wide enough to swing with or your "burglarizin neighbour" will simply use his pike & shield to force you back, who knows he may actually be real & not a plywood "armoured man cut out". Whilst pikes & shields may be the current concealed weapon of choice of British Knight "trainer wearing neds, they still have potential even in an alco-popped fuelled 14 yr old ned's hands
  • Boris
    I have met the ugly fat man and he has met his chunky fate. On an unrelated matter I have 50 kg of fresh pork for sale. Some select cuts, plenty of mince and just one tiny sausage. Offers to the usual address.
  • qwertyuiop
    Someone needs to tell Cold Steel that having a fat fuck in a shirt and tie combo flailing around a sword in slow motion is NOT a good look and NOT a good way to sell a product. I'm suddenly reminded of the fat retarded kid who was a temporary youtube hit twirling round a cardboard tube pretending he was Darth Maul.
  • Eurocrap
    Is it me or is there a hidden message for the Pigs of this world, you know who you are! If issued there could be a double whammy in giving all the fat fuckers a heart attack. Well, it's certainly made the Tasers redundant.
  • Dick
    Why the fuck doesn't he try it out on a person. I reckon you could do some damage with that. You might even get someone's eye out waving it about.

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