Cigarettes: Now even duller.

cigarette packets Fags news now, and the government have released images of the new UK plain cigarette packaging.

The image, released to the public by the Department of Health, arrives following the publication of draft regulations on tobacco packaging yesterday, which are open for a UK-wide consultation which will run for six weeks, closing on 7 August.

Using the font-of-all-fonts Helvetica and an uncheery brown shading, there's also smashing pictures of buggered lungs and the like as illustrations, as well as advice lines and advice such as "PUT THAT FAG DOWN YOU DON'T NEED IT" (we paraphrase).

A series of criteria for the look and feel of the new packs can be found at the DoH website, stating that the ‘outside surfaces of packs would be drab brown with a matt finish’, ‘the inside surfaces of packs (internal packaging) would be white or drab brown’ and ‘text on packaging would be in a grey Helvetica typeface, with a specified maximum size' and many more.

Pack surfaces must be ‘smooth, with no embossing or irregularities of texture’, it says, and the draft regulations specify the same colours as those required in Australia (Pantone 448C for packaging and Pantone Cool Grey 2C for any allowed text).

The brand name can only be shown ‘once on each of the front, top and bottom surfaces of cigarette packs, once on each of the front and back surfaces and on the surface hidden beneath the flap of hand-rolling tobacco pouches.’

The DoH reckon this will reduce the appeal of the cigarettes and basically keep reminding you that your little bit of joy that cost you around £8 is going to kill you.

Of course, outlawing cigarettes altogether would be an outrageous notion, so making those who do continue to smoke, and haven't gone on to vape or the electronic cigarette, feel utterly wretched.

No news on whether meth or crack cocaine will get such branding, but WE'LL BE THE FIRST WITH THAT NEWS.

What do you think?

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