Chantix - Helps you to quit smoking by probably killing you first

27 September 2010

Ever heard of Chantix? It's a drug to help you quit smoking. Yep, with Chantix, you can knock those pesky tabs on the head. Great news right? Well... not when your disclaimer makes up 99% of your commercial. At one point in the advert, the man featured gets so bored while waiting for the disclaimer to finish that he starts reading a book.

Get all that? Take Chantix and you will probably end up a sleep-depraved, hostile, agitated, depressed suicidal git with thoughts of anxiety, panic, mania, paranoia who, if you're lucky, might get some trippy hallucinations. Oh, with a skin rash which might become life-threatening when it swells up your throat and stops you breathing. Failing that, you might just fart and puke a lot.

You'll probably get monsterism as well.

Visit the official Chantix site here if, like me, you thought it was all a load of bollocks.

TOPICS:   Advertising   Not The Onion   Health


  • Richard
    See also abilify and mirapex
  • Richard
    and at risk of being flagged as a spammer; Celebrex - which uses an amazing amount of FUD to try to point out thing can kill you, not just celebrex, and hey, we haven't been banned yet.
  • Noghar
    WTF - IS etc. That is hilarious. It starts off sounding like a commercial and ends up sounding like an expose of a medical scandal. Why do they repeat the first section on depression and suicide but pass over the warning about pregnancy? I would have thought that deserves another ten minutes of pessimism and despair all by itself. O and BTW - great job quitting smoking - shame about the nicotine yellow teeth.
  • Henry
    The reason for this is that its an advert for a PRESCRIPTION drug. Such ads aren't allowed over here, rightly so, and those that are allowed in the US are very heavily regulated by the FDA, hence all the disclaimers.
  • Alexis
    Probably the first advert since Marmite to spend most of the time dissuading you from buying it!
  • hippy1001
    wouldnt the craving from stopping smoking give you less hastle than the chantix cure? Im sure you get mood changes, cold sweats and probably weird dreams that come and go with your lack of sleep are just not as life threatening as taking chantix might be though. Might save you some money too. If you wanna quit, do what kojak does and shave your head and suck a lollypop!

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