BT ad family to perish in an ending of your choice

BT chumpBT's unrealistic, hateful  family, featuring Kris 'Whoops! There goes the career! Marshall and Esther 'Who?' Hall, are going to be leaving our screens very shortly and BT are giving us all the chance to decide how the 'storyline' is concluded.

Will there be a vote for public flogging or an incident with a tree-shredder? Probably not.

What we'll get is a bunch of commercials, made by someone who had something to do with Cold Feet, which will start airing on Saturday which will direct us to a website where we can vote for one of two possible endings that will be shown in late August.

Apparently, lead up to the end involves something to do with a problem with the mum of the family which will be hinted at in an instant messaging session between her teenage son and Adam. Sounds confusing. And shit.

"The strand of ads we are doing at the moment are all about human interaction and human relationships [facilitated by BT products] and we thought about building the connection by getting people involved in the story of the campaign itself," said Matthew Dearden to the Guardian, marketing director for BT Retail.

If you're simple in the head and want to see the commercial early, then you can join some Facebook group and see it and start voting on the choice of two rather boring endings. I don't imagine we'll be getting anything like the surprise appearance of Vic and Bob at the close of the 'Papa, Nicole' commercials.

Rumour has it that it won't be a chocolate box ending, so maybe one of 'Adam's' friends who have been irritated by him showing off with his fast broadband connection will bludgeon him to death with a router on his wedding day before strangling the rest of the family with the lead from a Bakelite BT phone.


  • Andrew C.
    "unrealistic, hateful family" how can you hate that family , but its coming from bitterwallet who don't like anything in this world . you should make fun reading your of everything but all I read in your site is hate this hate that . you don't like nothing do you ?
  • stu
    hmmm your right I never noticed that Bitter Wallet is rather well Bitter... OH hold on BITTER Wallet.. now I get it...
  • PokeHerPete
    Id like to stab someone in the face every time they mention "Its 7pm, half the world is online." Youre not on 56k and Im sure that not everyone in your immediate area are downloading the latest 2 girls 1 cup 10GB movie.
  • Grammar N.
    Kris Marshall was fucking funny in My Family. Now on the back of these adverts, he's successfully made himself a complete and utter cunt/
  • Amanda H.
    I'd like to see the fuzz arresting him and seizing his computer on child porn allegations. Then the mum shacks up with the Old Spice guy but finds out he's gay...... and the kids are Fostered in by Joseph Fritzel, and their only chance of escape is when he leaves his iPhone4 unattended but they can't get a signal.
  • PokeHerPete
    Amanda, Id pay to see that!
  • Terry G.
    He's CLEARLY grooming the lady's kids. I reckon he's gonna get caught for using his superfast super reliable BT broadband for streaming his milfy missus in the bath. (please note: when I posted this on the guardian website it was removed faster than you could blink) "how can you hate that family " Because they are a bunch of utter fucking bastards. Hope that helps.
  • F. F.
    Perhaps it ends with BT cutting him off as they've discovered he's been using P2P sites?
  • Mark
    What I've always wondered is how he managed to age twenty years between My Family and the BT adverts.
  • Bullet
    get a hair cut ya hippie.
  • singhster
    If BT stopped these adverts, maybe they could reduce their prices to become more competitive. Then they wouldn't have to ring me every month asking if I wanted to come back. And I wouldn't have to tell them they're too fucking expensive, and their ads are shit. Shittest series of ads I've ever seen. One minute he's fucked off to get his dream job, next minute he's getting married. What a load of utter wank.
  • h0dgy
    Personally, I'd like to see him go Derrick Bird after a 20min fruitless phone call to the BT Customer Service call centre in India
  • bt w.
    maybe his wife could be on chat roulette and stumbles across Kris having a wank on the loo on webcam. He cums into the camera successfully finishing off his career as an actor. Top ending!
  • BT (.
    We do very good job here in India, we cannot understand you Brits, and your silly place names.
  • The B.
    "you don’t like nothing do you" You do realise that's a double negative and you've just accused them of liking everything?
  • Simon B.
    They should team up with Microsoft and do a combo ad for "In Private Browsing" and a fast BT connection. Imagine the scene, he is pulling his pudding, watching jump free HD kiddie porn whilst uploading inappropriate pics of the kids to the Mr Glitter fun club. All of a sudden he hears the door open downstairs. He just manages to put his piece away and exit the browser as she comes into the room, all because his Internet connection is the shit and he didn't have to fanny around clearing his history. Cue smug face, maybe exiting to the music from The Omen.
  • dunfyboy
    I don't care how they end, as long as they end. Stop wasting money on shit ads and invest it in speeding up my crappy phone line.
  • Ten B.
    [...] BT ad family to perish in an ending of your choice [...]
  • Jimbo
  • Sarah
    I Saw Her Rubbing Her Tummy And She Hesitated When She Said ' I'll See You Next Weekend' < Or Something Like That :L.... So Maybe She Has Had An Affair With Him...
  • ryanizzle
    as long as i dont have to watch that cunt again, job well done
  • Mr B.
    Choice of two endings. Ha! No doubt two versions of some sanitized middle class crap that Matthew and his marketing sycophants have paranoidly screened for any possible offence to their Target audience during lunch meetings in Zizzi....
  • Mr B.
    Although it happened two years ago , I just read that Kriss - Adam , whatever u wanna call him , was hit by a car after a (Sun quote:) 'boozy night out' and had 'serious head injuries' ... Apparently no car driver error was mentioned so the drunken idiot probably wandered into the road. Lord forgive me, but I couldn't help smile ... I also amused myself by toying with the thoughts that this debacle is entirely consistent with the boringly laddish Adam character. Is Kriss Marshall a method actor?
  • Ms C.
  • notcontroversial
    She's pregnant you nellie! BT are great ads.
  • Liam
    Thank God they're going! They're such an insufferably boring lot. TV producers and advertisers always seem to think that a "typical modern family" has to be a broken, dysfunctional one. It really annoys me. BT should bring back the Maureen Lipman ads! They were funny!!! (search "Maureen Lipman BT" on YouTube if you don't remember them!)
  • brian t.
    if hes leaving can i take his place ithink shes a very pritty woman
  • danashcroft
    the idiots are winning.
  • AD
    I will never forgive BT for inflicting these two boring, plain, tedious, talentless drabs on our screens over and over again for years on end - and paying them loads of money into the bargain. Will never subscribe to BT again as a result. Hate them. Was so disappointed when I heard he recovered from his car accident.
  • GoodGod
    Smug middle class, self loathing, insecure, pompous, pretentious Audi driving Iphone 50k automatons. These adverts absolutely stink of suburban snobbery, everything that is bad about this country. Absolutely sickening to read that real humans (i presume) actually like this schmaltz, get a life. stop being so insecure and embrace others for a change, stop being so class obsessed, really.

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