Want to buy some cheap Lloyds shares that already belong to you?

June 10th, 2013 15 Comments By Lucy Sweet

delboy1 300x255 Want to buy some cheap Lloyds shares that already belong to you?George Osborne is planning to sell the taxpayers stake in Lloyds sooner than expected – which means the public can buy cheap as chips shares in their favourite bank. Isn’t he NICE?

He’s planning to announce his bargain bucket shares in a speech in 10 days time, then he’s going to flog them out of the back of a yellow Robin Reliant below the market price. There’ll be incentives built in so that people will hold onto them for several years. (He can also do you 10 lighters for a pound).

Self-serving little get Osborne says this is the ‘right time’ to sell off Lloyds, namely because shares have skyrocketed in the last year from 28.5p to 62.3p. They’re still nowhere near the price they were in 2008, leaving long standing shareholders out of pocket. But crucially, the current share price means the Government has broken even on the price they paid for shares to bail out Lloyds at the height of the banking crisis. So he’s selling them back to us– and he might even throw in a set of cutlery and some plastic crystal wine glasses from Esso.

For his next dodgy, underhand trick, George will come into your house with a bag marked ‘SWAG’ and steal all your possessions, then he’ll sell back your TV, sofa and precious family heirlooms for a slightly lower price than you paid for them. Whatta guy.

Comments (15) Jump to most recent comment
  1. Posted by Alexis June 10, 2013 at 11:17 am

    Wasn’t the Lib Dem plan going to be to GIVE us the shares?

    Could have been the one and only decent thing they’ve done in government until now. Presumably Osbourne sent them to their bedroom with no tea for daring to suggest anything so generous.

  2. Posted by Dacouch June 10, 2013 at 12:15 pm

    What are you expecting him to do with the shares that the country spent billions on…keep hold of them forever or give them away for free?

  3. Posted by Haggis June 10, 2013 at 12:22 pm

    Well they wouldn’t be free would they. We have all already paid for them.

  4. Posted by Geoff June 10, 2013 at 12:23 pm

    @Dacouch

    Those billions the ‘country’ spent on propping up and part nationalising private financial institutions – where did that money come from? Now gorgeous George is proposing selling back up to us something we already paid for.

    Want to buy some magic beans?

  5. Posted by Dick June 10, 2013 at 12:35 pm

    I don’t own them. We as a country own them. It is no different to selling off any other state asset.

  6. Posted by silverfox June 10, 2013 at 12:38 pm

    Why not give them away to the jodseekers or maybe give them away in foreign aid. Its not like they are spending my money I work for.

  7. Posted by Grammar Nazi June 10, 2013 at 12:39 pm

    Obviously it is impossible to predict share price rises and falls with a great deal of accuracy, but only the most pessimistic of investors would sell shares that have more than doubled in value in a year because it would allow them break even.

    You can see it now, the value will double again a year after they are sold off meaning the taxpayer misses out on a nice profit. It’s just like when Brown sold off all our gold before it went to reach record prices.

  8. Posted by Zleet June 10, 2013 at 12:44 pm

    So the plan is to sell shares early and not make much if any profit?

    And why exactly is this person Chancellor?

  9. Posted by Mike Oxsore June 10, 2013 at 1:08 pm

    I think it would be wrong of them to keep hold of the shares now he can recoup what was paid for them. If he was going to keep them there’d be issues of deciding for how long, for what price to wait etc. At least this way “we” get out friggin money back. And he can now invest it in A&E departments and the police and sorting out all the potholes. yeah right.

  10. Posted by Geoff June 10, 2013 at 2:06 pm

    @Dick

    So clearly we don’t need George’s austerity then because it’s this a debt belonging to this strange construct of yours, the ‘country’. Perhaps I should stop paying tax, because clearly your ‘country’ has financial means all of its own and can well do without my pounds and pence.

    Only a mug fails to understand what selling of ‘state assets’ means.

  11. Posted by shiftynifty June 10, 2013 at 3:13 pm

    So we bought them …as a country….but now he wants to flog them back to us….and you can see who will be the biggest buyers…hedge funds etc…tucked up truly

  12. Posted by Dick June 10, 2013 at 3:13 pm

    If I own something, then I can choose when to sell it and whether to sell it or not. Is that the case with these bank shares that “I” own. No.

    It is collective ownership, not personal.

  13. Posted by Yog S June 10, 2013 at 5:26 pm

    The dicks that voted this lot in…

  14. Posted by Juicy Lucy June 10, 2013 at 9:00 pm

    I like Dick.
    He comes across as a little stiff but he’s not afraid to go where it hurts and put his point [s]in[/s] across.

  15. Posted by StJohn October 22, 2013 at 11:35 pm

    We don’t own them as such, we borrowed billions of pounds to prop them up, we need to repay that money to bring down the national debt. Giving them away is a stupid idea because it won’t pay down that debt. If he sells them the vast majority of the money will come from institutions overseas, so he’s not selling them back to us.

    And the banks were stupid, but who oversaw them for 10 years as chancellor, who sold all our gold cheap? Who exploded national debt from virtually nothing to 900 billion, who doubled the welfare £ bill n let all the migrants flood in, who spent billions on a war in Iraq with huge loss of life, who under invested in power infrastructure and introduced the black hole in the defense budget. Labour, that’s who.

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