The Coldest UK Deals… Ever.
By Vince Wong
Perhaps someone should declare Opposite Day, like on Spongebob Squarepants. Here are five deals on HUKD that are cold enough that you’ll wish you had the balls off a brass monkey handy to warm up with.
Starting with the warmest of the cold, here they are :
5. Alli Slimming Pills £35 at Asda: -75o
The first nonprescription slimming pills in the UK can be had at Asda for about £15 less than a month’s supply at Boots. The lack of heat apparently stems from coldness toward the concept of slimming pills rather than the price. These have been available in the US for a couple of years now, and perhaps Brits wanting to try them should learn from some of their mistakes. After all, when the company’s website suggests that you wear dark pants … seriously, I ask you to think hard, just as Kimberly Davies should have done with Phillip’s literally pants idea on the recent Apprentice.
4. Guitar Hero £125 for Xbox 360 at Tesco: -96o
Although the OP waxes enthusiastic at finding this for under £150 while gathering all those Clubcard points, those leaving comments point to Morrison’s £119.99 price as a reason for the lack of thermal love given to the deal.
3. Gold plated QED HDMI cable fit for King Midas for £50 at Audiovisual Online: -1077o
Why spend £5 for a plain old HDMI cable when you can spend £50 and get one that comes with the following lofty promises: unrivalled immunity from interference, ergonomically profiled plugs with gold plated contacts, and silver plated AWG conductors for optimum digital signal transfer. Yes, these cables only transport the finest of electrons, unlike those mingy electrons your £4.99 HDMI cable picks up from heaven knows where.
2. KFC bargain bucket plus sides costs same as Family Feast (£12.99) but with more chicken: -1304o
KFC has made it easy for customers to spend the maximum for chicken by offering their family feast of 8 pieces of chicken, 4 chips, 2 large sides, and a bottle of Pepsi for £12.99. Those who read slightly farther down the menu will discover that a 10 piece Bargain Bucket with 4 chips costs £9.99. Two large sides will set you back 1.50, as will a bottle of Pepsi added on. Let’s see, £9.99 plus £3.00 equals … that’s right, £12.99, same as the family feast, only with two more pieces of chicken! Mmm. Tastes especially good after all that mental arithmetic. Presumably the cold reception is the result of a combination of KFC being bad for you and the OP’s brilliant mathematical skills.
1.1. Jade Goody Commemorative Candles for £4.99: -1514
While comments are now locked concerning the £4.99 commemorative candles from Candles by Laurence in honour of the funeral of reality television star Jade Goody, there is still plenty of heat given off in the HUKD discussion thread. Part of the proceeds from sales of the candles goes to cancer charities, according to the Candles by Laurence website. Most complaints in the thread focused on the crass commercialism of cashing in on someone’s death and of the far more efficient charitable act of simply giving money directly to charities rather than having it sift through a retail transaction first.
Conclusion: If you spent today taking Alli, playing Guitar Hero from Tesco, pimping your computer with a fancy cable, eating fried chicken, and buying commemorative candles in hopes of filling your karmic bank account, don’t count on feeling any love from the folks over at HUKD.
(Deals found by budley, lovelldr, biyitch, acecatcher3, and iglimpse)
feral trolley of the week
“Presumably the cold reception is the result of a combination of KFC being bad for you and the OP’s brilliant mathematical skills”
I’d say that it is more to do with the fact that anyone who gives a flying fuck about the welfare of animals wouldn’t touch a KFC with a 10ft washing line prop
looooooooool vince how could u do that to me hahahahaha!!!! i love my kfc deals – they werent worth the ban tho
http://www.hotukdeals.com/item/345992/kfc-deal-of-the-century-only-12-96-/
explain that vince – it continued to get hot even after the thread was locked and i was banned.
btw can u guys do another “wek review” thing where u list the best articles for the week plz, tis a good read for work.
sure thing ace. we just went with the numbers. keep up the good spirit, chap!
@ acecatcher3, were you actually banned for posting that deal or for something else?
No of course not jay I was banned for asking members to vote hot thru pms. How u doing anyway? U still use hukd alot?
Ace you nob why didn’t you just troll about the forums like me and BG1 ??
lol u donkey – go get some of my kfc deal of the century.
loooooooooooooooool
ACE, post that explanation I sent you boooooooooooooooooooy!
Vince…the title is a tad misleading. You should actually find all the coldest deals and post them, would be good for the lol’s
Lmao, best bw story ever! Ace, how’s ur nan?
She’s dead actually lol