Thanks Tesco, I realise I do need glow-in-the-dark handcuffs

October 20th, 2010 5 Comments By Paul Smith

Avid Bitterwallet reader Klingelton spotted his local branch of Tesco selling ‘glow-in-the dark handcuffs’ - you know, that traditional Halloween costume accessory. For your daughter’s Witch Police outfit. Or the zombie S&M practitioner. Or… actually, we can’t think of a Halloween costume that involves handcuffs. It’s a rubbish idea, Tesco.

Perhaps the supermarket behemoths realise they’re knocking out an utterly pointless line of products to jack up their profits, because they’ve come up with perhaps the greatest sales pitch of all time:

Bitterwallet tesco handcuffs Thanks Tesco, I realise I do need glow in the dark handcuffs

Yes kids, now you really can enjoy hours of safety! Sounds brilliant. Props to the marketing department once again, Tesco.

Comments (5) Jump to most recent comment
  1. Posted by PaulH October 20, 2010 at 9:22 am

    Trust Klingelton to be looking at them…

  2. Posted by klingelton October 20, 2010 at 10:15 am

    Me and mrs Klingelton have tested them. they do indeed offer hours of fun. The safety word was bananas.

  3. Posted by Nobby October 20, 2010 at 12:07 pm

    It says not for child… Is there an age limit missing off the side of this comment?

    I would like to use these to restrain my kids, to give me hours of fun and safety.

  4. Posted by Silk October 20, 2010 at 12:23 pm

    Oh come on, use your imagination. Zombie prisoners with the cuff hanging limply off one wrist. Executioners with the cuffs hanging from their belt. Zombie cops.

    Have you never dressed up?

  5. Posted by PaulH October 20, 2010 at 12:26 pm

    @Silk

    I find clothes a distraction from the pursuit of spiritual and intellectual fulfillment.

Leave a Reply *(required)