And where is she NOW, when you really need one?

We’re going back to the future with this one – as far back as 2006, when Swine Flu was just a dot on the horizon and we were all busy bricking it about SARS, Bird Flu, Red Lorry Disease or Toxic Chess Syndrome.

It’s a woollen medical mask, designed to keep the nasty pig germs out while keeping you warm and toasty as, er… summer approaches. Anyway, there’s a knitting pattern for it as well, so if you’re a needle-toting knitsmith, you can quickly bang a few out for yourself as well as your nearest and dearest before the onrushing cloud of Swine Flu engulfs the whole bally lot of us.

Now, can anyone crochet us some syringes filled to the brim with antivirals?