Posts Tagged ‘testicles’

enhanced buzz 27143 1337974777 13 300x225 Masterchef or Mistresschef? Maos not sure and hes cooked the evidence!

Mao's junk, cooked.

If you think that Heston Blumenthal’s experiments with electric ice cream and chips made from the caramalised-the-deep-fried souls of angels are the last word in imaginative cuisine then think again. But don’t think too hard about the following…

Mao Sugiyama, born a man but living as a self-described ‘asexual’ is a chef in Japan. He/she/it recently decided that as his/her/its penis and testicles were pretty much redundant, it might be a good idea to have them hacked off and serve them up for high-paying diners. Cannibalism? Possibly, but it seems that Japan has no laws against such a thing.

In the end, only five people stepped up to the plate that was containing Mao’s reproductive organs, each of them paying $250 to chew on them. The reviews weren’t great either – apparently the penis was rubbery; the scrotum was leathery and the testicles were hard on the outside and “glutinous” in the middle.

Your move Heston – we’re happy to sharpen the knife.


Is your orange juice threatening your manhood?

January 14th, 2012 8 Comments By Andy Dawson
DSCF0584 293x300 Is your orange juice threatening your manhood?

This could be your testicle tomorrow.

It seems that we need to face up to the fact that, in 2012, our soft drinks are trying to KILL us.

We’re still reeling from the news that a can of Mountain Dew will dissolve a dead mouse and now it has emerged that certain brands of orange juice will DESTROY YOUR TESTICLES. Unless, you know, you’re a woman and that.

Here’s the sciencey bit. Coca Cola say that it has found the presence of illegal fungicide in orange juice made by itself and its competitors. The dirty poison was used on Brazilian oranges but has made its way into US-based drinks.

They haven’t identified which drinks they believe the fungicide is on but say it is contained in “its and competitors’ currently marketed finished products”. These include Simply Orange and Minute Maid (made by Coca Cola), and Tropicana and Dole (made by Pepsi)

The fungicide in question is carbendazim, which can cause infertility and destroy testicles in high doses. We don’t know if the dodgy juice has made it to the UK or how much you’d need to sup before your balls fell off – that’s because it’s Saturday and there’s no one around to ring up and ask.

Be careful out there readers…


Here’s a public information commercial type thing on behalf of the Male Cancer Awareness Campaign, focussing specifically on the testicles, and starring the rather easy-on-the-eye underwear model Rhian Sugden. But it isn’t quite what it seems and is NOT SUITABLE FOR WORK.

Gentlemen, be warned – the first part of it is eye-spinningly sexy, but it ends up as the kind of dream most of us have had once we’ve gone to bed with a stomach-full of strong cheese. Isn’t it? ISN’T IT?? *laughs nervously*

At first, we thought this was some kind of spoof by a gang of pranksty internet funsters. Then we assumed it was taken from an unscreened episode of The Apprentice – you know, the one they have early on in every series where the idiots make an advert.

Sadly, it turns out to be a true thing from a true product – the True Clean Towel. It’s your standard bath towel, but with a human body printed on it. The idea is that you use it as a guide when you’re drying yourself so that you don’t end up wiping your face with a part of the towel that you’ve previously used to wipe your ‘special private area’.

So then, what better way to illustrate this magical product than to… well, see for yourselves. Be warned – it isn’t pretty.