Posts Tagged ‘superman’

The greatest eBay item of all time…?

March 27th, 2012 15 Comments By Andy Dawson

The title of the listing tells you everything you need to know – ‘Taxidermy: Wild Grey Super Squirrel’. Start the bidding at £14.99…

Screen Shot 2012 03 27 at 14.53.56 The greatest eBay item of all time...?

Newspapers are awfully tricky to get right. For starters, there are lots of words. Thousands of them. And they all have to go in a specific order. Then you’ve got pictures. Dozens of them, too. And you can’t use any old pictures – they have to be connected to all those words.

As you’re only now beginning to appreciate, newspapers are a logistical minefield of words and pictures. And that’s before you get all the different versions; there’s the daily printed version, the website version and the mobile version. That’s an awful lot of words and pictures to put in the right place, isn’t it?

That’s why stuff like this happens, although we’re struggling to imagine a scenario in which nobody noticed before the page went live.

BItterwallet murder suspect is superman 332x500 Murder suspects are superheroes, too   or are they?

There’s only so hard you can flog a dead horse, and only so fast it’ll run as a result. And only so far you’ll get by employing out-of-work Superman actor Dean Cain to perform said-flogging. Microsoft are so desperate for you to love Internet Explorer 8 that they’ve created a whole series of spoof infomercials, to hilarious effect.

As you’ll soon discover, an actor like Cain feels right at home in infomercials, so the gag is lost before the ad begins; there’s only so much sending-up a small-time TV actor can do in a small-time TV scenario. Besides which, the ads both suck and blow big time:

There are a couple more where that came from. But then you have this. What the fuck is this?

[IDSGN] thanks to Bitterwallet reader Emma

Commercial Break: Smoking isn’t for heroes

May 6th, 2009 4 Comments By Andy Dawson

Earlier today, we posed the question ‘Should smokers be paid to quit?’ It’s one way of looking at the situation. Maybe the government need to come down harder on the suckers of cancer sticks – we could cut off their fingers or stitch up their lips to help them quit their filthy habit.

Perhaps we could incorporate some kind of Russian roulette / Charlie And The Chocolate Factory element to it all – get the government to add Semtex to five random cigarettes dotted around the UK. Smoke one and you’ll go up like a rocket on Bonfire Night. Unfortunately.

Sod it – let’s just give everyone a six-month deadline to pack in the tabs and if they don’t, send Superman round and he can do to them what he did to Nick O’Teen in this 1981 ad. Problem solved.