Kellogg’s cutting Coco Pops sugar levels by… not much really
Wednesday, August 4th, 2010The Fun Prevention Officers have had their way once again – Kellogg’s are reducing the sugar content in four of their Coco Pops cereals by 15%.
It’s bad news for those of us you enjoy feeding your kids huge bowlfuls of the stuff before sitting back and watching them go batshit mental as a result of the cascading sugar rush, sometimes filming the resulting mayhem to put on YouTube.
But it’s probably good news for the kids themselves and people who make their living from broadcasting the myth that obesity is a bad thing. At present Coco Pops contain 35% sugar, but following the reduction, the level will go down to 29.75 %. Hang on – that’s still fucking LOADS! In fact it’s double the amount recommended by the killjoy Boffins™ at the Food Standards Agency.
Here at Bitterwallet, we’re all in favour of keeping children healthy and stopping them from enjoying themselves. As such, we’re in talks with a host of breakfast cereal manufacturers about launching our new range of ‘Morning Jamies’ – a Jamie Oliver-shaped cereal made from chalk, cork and cement. No sugar and the kids are filled up for the whole day.


Despite people older than you appearing to have grown up strong and healthy, every mouthful of food that passed their lips as a kid was essentially poison. Yes, they may have ate a slice of white bread every day and suffered no ill effects, but they didn’t know the flour and starch would cause lungworm and certain death. Same goes for eggs, fish, red meat, white meat, vegetables and apples. And water. And breakfast cereals, too.
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