Posts Tagged ‘steve jobs’
Apple will be furious today (which is always nice) as a man in Turkey has apparently been granted the trademark for ‘Steve Jobs’ for a clothing line.
Kamil Kürekçi put in his application to trademark the name of the late Apple co-founder, and a statement on the trademark application said: “Opening overseas with this name will be an advantage for us considering that we will be mainly exporting.”
“We think that Steve Jobs is a worldwide known brand that will never be forgotten. It is also obvious that it will facilitate our work on overseas advertisements of our products.”
So what can we expect from all this? The obvious thing to assume is that there’ll be black turtle neck jumpers, jeans, rimless specs and boring trainers on offer. However, it’d be much funnier if this was a line of sexy clothes. Crotchless undercrackers and gimp-masks with Steve Jobs’ face on them.
The likelihood of any of this seeing the light of day is slim though, as Apple are incredibly protective of their brand and image, which is a shame.
We can only hope that some items get released without permission, just like those pretend Apple stores in China. The world needs to see a Steve Jobs dildo as a pick-me-up. Or, at the very least, we want some berk to make something similar to Apple’s clothing range from the mid-eighties.
Are you missing the ‘unique’ product launch style of Steve Jobs now that he’s well and truly ‘brown bread’? Miss him no longer – here’s a spookily accurate reproduction of what he might be up to now that he’s languishing in Heaven.
Apart from the wings, the biggest change seems to be that he’s now pimping hardware for a tablet company called Action rather than Apple. Oh, and the mild facelift.
It’s the ultimate toy for the ultimate Apple fanboy, as they can have now their dearly departed godhead immortalised forever – yes, it’s the Steve Jobs action figure.
Twelve inches in height and dressed in the trademark black turtleneck and jeans, it’ll be available for a mere $99.99 from next month – although there’s a chance that the Jobs family might be reaching for their lawyers before the thing is actually made available to the public.
Which UK-based giant of business would YOU like to see made into a doll? Lord Sir Alan Sugar? Sir Richard Branson? Sir Philip Green? Dame Hilary Devey?
Steve Jobs, shock horror, wasn’t the lovely bloke that many assumed he was. He was a big-cheese at a giganto company. It really goes without saying doesn’t it?
Anyway, apparently, Saint Jobs said he wanted to destroy Android and was willing to spend all of Apple’s money and his dying breath to do so, if that’s what it took.
Jobs told author Walter Isaacson that he viewed Android’s similarity to iOS as “grand theft” in an authorised biography.
According to extracts of Isaacson’s book, Jobs said: “I’m going to destroy Android, because it’s a stolen product. I’m willing to go thermonuclear war on this.”
He added: “I will spend my last dying breath if I need to, and I will spend every penny of Apple’s $40 billion in the bank, to right this wrong.”
Of course, it wasn’t always like this. Apple and Google were pretty good chums before the launch of the Android system. Google’s chief executive, Eric Schmidt, was once on the board of Apple. However, that all went west when Google unveiled Android in November 2007.
Have you ever seen Apple’s officially licensed merchandise? A product catalogue from 1983 has turned up online showing off t-shirts, mugs, tote bags and wall hangings which, if you’ve got ‘em now, must be worth a bomb! There’s even an Apple branded kite!
People like nothing more than moaning about Apple. All Apple buyers are sanctimonious, lifestyle idiots aren’t they? Well, that’s what slightly different sanctimonious lifestyle idiots tell anyone who’ll listen.
And people are going to start complaining again when Apple closes its retail stores for several hours Wednesday so that employees can watch a webcast of a memorial service to celebrate the life of Steve Jobs.
Of course, this kind of behaviour will jar people who hate Apple and the lifestyle that goes with it.
What kind of sycophantic nonsense is this? etc etc
Not that the closing of a shop they’ll never, ever go in will affect them in any way, shape or form.
Still, nice to pick fights with people based on what gadgets you use eh? It reminds us of the BetaMax/VHS riots of the ’80s.
It had to happen and, by crikey we’re glad it has. The maniacs from Taiwan’s NMA News channel have worked their CGI magic on the life and times of Steve Jobs.
Obviously, it covers all the key points in the life of Jobs – the LSD-fuelled epiphany, that time he gave birth to a computer, the vicious lightsaber fight with Bill ‘Darth Vader’ Gates and his subsequent bout with the Grim Reaper. It’s all there – a fitting tribute if ever we saw one.
So, as you’ve probably heard, Steve Jobs has stepped down as CEO of Apple, but remains as chairman of the board. Ever since the announcement late last night, there’s been a flood of speculation about what it all means, but we don’t really care about any of that – it’s all a load of hot air.
The only thing we’re sure of is that Jobs has handed his notice in only hours after the footage of the opening of the Basingstoke Apple Store broke on The Internet (which we brought to you yesterday). We’re certain that it’s a contributing factor, although we don’t know why. Could it be that Jobs was appalled by it and was compelled to walk away from the monster he’s created or did it act as evidence that his mission was finally complete?
Uh-oh! Apple has been taking everyone to the cleaners about various patents that they reckon they invented for the iPad. The fist big victim was the Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1, getting pulled off the shelves until some sort of agreement was made.
However, it seems that Apple and their lawyers may have misled the judge who took their side by inadvertently filing flawed evidence and not providing an accurate picture of the similarity between the two devices.
It has been reported that at least one of the Galaxy Tab 10.1 pictures that Apple provided as evidence was either wrong or, worse still, manipulated. The photographic evidence submitted by Apple shows a picture of the iPad 2 and the ‘Galaxy Tab 10.1′ with the claim that the “overall appearance” of the two are “practically identical.”
Sadly for Apple, it seems that picture they submitted of the Galaxy doesn’t match with the real one. It seems someone has either accidentally or intentionally altered the aspect ratio on the image of the Samsung device, making it look more like the iPad 2.
Arnout Groen, a lawyer with the Dutch firm Klos Morel Vos & Schaap, specialized in intellectual property rights litigation, says: “This is a blunder. That such a ‘mistake’ is made in a case about design rights can scarcely be a coincidence. … The aspect ratio of the alleged Galaxy Tab is clearly distorted to match the iPad more closely. Inasmuch as this faux pas will have consequences for the case is of course up to the judge. But at least a reprimand by the German judge seems to be in order.”
Does this mean the litigation is going to be thrown out, leaving the door open for everyone else to muscle in on Apple’s domination of the tablet market, or are Apple being stupid and should trust that their product is likely to continue to rule the tablet roost?
There’s been rumour after tedious rumour about the release of Apple’s iPhone5. Well, here’s another one. Apparently, Apple have ordered 15 million iPhone 5s from its Taiwanese suppliers with plans to start shipping the devices in September.
Interestingly, it is reported that the iPhone 5 “does not have any major update from iPhone 4″, which means that the new handset will just be a tarted up iPhone 4 without overhaul.
The strongest rumours suggest that the new iPhone will contain the same A5 processor that is in the iPad 2 and an improved camera (an 8-megapixel one as opposed to the current 5-megapixel effort). There is also talk of Apple releasing two versions of the iPhone this year, with one of them being considerably cheaper than the other. Will this pave the way for an iPhone that is free with a contract?
Of course, Apple isn’t commenting on these rumours as they know that the mill will keep churning things out until release date (excellent PR work there). The company don’t have any events booked for August or September, so we’ll just have to wait and see.
It has emerged that Apple’s all-singing, all-dancing iCloud won’t be working properly in the UK until at least 2012. That’s because Apple and the record companies are still a long way from agreeing terms about the wretched thing.
A spokesman for the Performing Rights Society told the Telegraph that “The licensing team at the PRS have started talks with Apple, but are a long way off from any deals being signed…It is very much the early stages of the negotiations and is similar to the launch of iTunes – which began in the US and took a while to roll out to other countries.”
Meanwhile, an anonymous record company executive added that: “Tentative talks have begun between the major labels and Apple in the UK. However, all talks are at the really early stages and no one expects to see the cloud music service live on this side of the pond until 2012.”
That’s just great. Big Jobs might as well have come out and announced jet packs and meals in pill form for all the use it would be to us over here on this side of the ‘pond’.
Look Steve, we know that you’ve been ill and we realise that all those worker suicides at Foxconn must be preying on your pretty mind from time to time, but you’d probably sell a lot more of your fancy junk if you’d launch stuff in the manner of this chap from Asus…
Apple have confirmed and announced that they’ll be giving us all a thing called iCloud on June 6th. That’s next week if you have no concept of time.
This new service is looking like it will allow users to listen and buy music without it needing to be stored on their phone or computer. A bit like Spotify then, who everyone has stopped using since they started messing around with how much music we can now access on the freemium account.
Really, it resembles Amazon’s latest cloud project, with both Apple and Amazon offering the chance to have all your music online.
Apple have already wooed two major record labels. They’ll need more than that won’t they? Don’t be surprised if they pull more big guns in.
Elsewhere, everyone expects that there’ll be more iPhones release, on top of the unveiling of ‘Lion’, the name CEO Steve Jobs has given to the eighth major release of Mac OS X as well as the next version of mobile operating system, iOS 5.
Loads going on then, but you get the impression that there’s another big trick up the company’s sleeve as these announcements have been a little too low-key for Apple.
What are they up to?
Apple have admitted that they were tracking your every movement (provided of course, you owned an iPhone or iPad) and now they’re looking to fix all that up because they’re the nicest people on Earth.
If you’d forgotten already, some security researchers discovered a hidden file on the devices which stored a record of everywhere they’d been. Use that with dubious software and a ne’er-do-well could generate a map of all your movements. That probably includes bowel movements as well as your weekly trip to a ‘massage parlour’.
You can get the update from the iTunes store, which looks to cut the amount of stored data to just a week. To stop Apple collecting data completely, you’ll have to disable the location services on your iPhone or iPad.
If you’re feeling outraged that you’ve been tracked at all, tough shit. You’ve already given Apple permission to do so. When? Go read your terms and conditions for the iTunes store.
In response Apple, who are apparently releasing ‘standard’ and ‘pro’ versions of the iPhone5 later this year, said: “The iPhone is not logging your location, rather it’s maintaining a database of wi-fi hotspots and cell towers around your current location, some of which may be located more than 100 miles away from your iPhone to help your phone rapidly and accurately calculate its location when requested.”
Some don’t agree with Apple however, with the company due to testify at a US senate about personal privacy as well as being hit with a lawsuit which has been filed in Florida which accuses Apple of violating privacy laws. All hail the iPhone 5!
Steve Jobs may not be getting an honorary knighthood, but he is the centre of attention at the moment thanks to the announcement of the iPad2 which is so thin that it erodes from the trace of acid that your fingertips secrete.
And so, with a new iPad, what’s happening with the old one? Well, as we suspected, it will be dropping in price. While many companies clumsily chase Apple in the tablet market, Jobs and Co have decided to drop the price of the original to potentially clean-up.
Apple has reportedly reduced the 16GB iPad with Wi-Fi to the price of £329 (if you buy it directly from them) which is a good hundred quid cheaper than it was this time last week. The 32GB and 64GB models are going for £399 and £479 respectively.
It isn’t clear if Apple are just going for the whole tablet market or whether they’re simply trying to shift the stock to pave the way for their newest device. Basically, if you want an iPad on the cheap, you’d be advised to get a move on before iPad2 comes out on 25th March.
Or not bother at all because you still think they’re a stupid gimmick.