Posts Tagged ‘social media’

Snapchat soon to be an ad-fest

August 20th, 2014 No Comments By Mof Gimmers

snapchat 300x300 Snapchat soon to be an ad festSnapchat is about to change the way it does things. Soon enough, you’ll be seeing ephemeral adverts, news and videos from brands, as well as the usual 5 second shots of people’s penises and boring videos of cats.

The company is working on a new service called Snapchat Discovery that will show ‘branded content’ to users.

It’ll inevitably end up with a bunch of people complaining about it on Twitter.

Apparently: “The product would let users read daily editions of publications as well as watch video clips of TV shows or movies by holding down a finger on the screen, like they do with photos and other messages on the app before disappearing.”

Of course, Snapchat need to make some money on their popular app and have gone to the people who like spending cash the most – advertising companies. Snapchat turned down a huge bid from Facebook who tried to take over it, and since Snapchat refused all offers, pretty much all messenger services decided that it’d be easier and cheaper to simply copy Snapchat’s product.

Snapchat Discovery looks like it’ll see the light of day in November, just in time for everyone to get swamped with Christmas adverts and the like.

 Facebook ruin The Onions jokes like massive spoilsportsAre you the kind of person who responds to a joke with “REALLY?!” Then you’re the kind of person who has probably been hoodwinked by a headline from The Onion, which all right thinking people know, is a satirical outlet.

Funnier than The Onion is the people who rant and whine after believing one of their stories, getting themselves in a fluster while everyone else laughs at them.

However, that may be a thing of the past as stupid Facebook are going to flag The Onion’s articles with a ‘satire’ tag in news feeds, just so stupid people don’t get caught out. Spoilsports.

A Facebook rep told Ars Technica that they’d “received feedback that people wanted a clearer way to distinguish satirical articles from others in these units,” which they should’ve ignored or not completely invented.

Of course, once The Onion heard about this new feature, they produced an article about a fictional man who required a tag to understand his News Feed.

If Facebook decide to roll this out, it’ll be bad news for the brilliant blog Literally Believable, who chronicle all the idiotic responses from people taken in by Onion stories.

This all reminds us of the time when someone complained about a Chris Morris sketch from The Day Today, which saw Morris responding with a typically withering put-down.

Handily, Cookdandbombd recently uploaded it and you can watch it below.

car selfie Third of young drivers take selfies while drivingYoung people are vain. This is nothing new. Before cameras, they’d preen at their reflections in shop windows and such. Unless, of course, you’re a hideously ugly human and don’t ever want to know how awful the front bit of your head is.

Well, with camera phones, you can take pictures of your own face and then put them online where other people tell you how handsome you are, how strong your eyebrow game is and that your new haircut is incredible.

However, as many as a third of young British drivers have taken a selfie while driving a car, according to a survey from the Ford Motor Company showed.

33% of British kids confessed to taking photos of themselves while at the wheel. The figures in other European countries were lower. In Germany and France it stands at 28%, while Romanians are closely behind with 27% of 18-24 year olds taking self-portraits from their cars. In Italy 26% do it, and Spain it is 18% and Belgium 17%.

The Europe-wide survey found that 25% had used social media while driving. Young men are the worst offenders.

“Taking a selfie has for many young people quickly become an integral part of everyday life. But it’s the last thing you should be doing behind the wheel of a car,” said Jim Graham, manager of Ford’s Driving Skills for Life programme. ”It is deeply worrying that so many young drivers admit to taking a photo while driving and we will be doing all we can to highlight the potential dangers through driver education.”

 

Apparently, you can drive the equivalent of a football pitch while distracted by your phone, which is obviously bad news if you’re a dreadful multitasker.

Of course, kids pissing around on Facebook and crashing to their deaths could be seen as natural selection, but the worry comes if they start mowing down pedestrians or what have you. Unless, of course, those same pedestrians are messing about on their phones and not looking where they’re going.

RAC technical director David Bizley said: “Mobile phone use has been a problem for some time and there’s not been enough action to tackle it. Using a hand-held phone or texting while driving must be made socially unacceptable.”

SexFit measures how good your man is in the sack

August 8th, 2014 2 Comments By Mof Gimmers

Dirty vendors Bondara have released a thing called SexFit, which just so happens to be a device that straps onto the base of a man’s wang and measures bedroom performance.

No pressure.

Basically, it’s a cock-ring and once you pop it on, it utilises an accelerometer and Bluetooth module which tracks your ins-and-outs. The data is then transferred to the accompanying app which you and your lover can romantically digest together and coo at the number of calories burned and how many thrusts per minute you’ve done.

sexfit 500x317 SexFit measures how good your man is in the sack

It gets better! You can turn sex into a competition with your pals online as SexFit allows users to compare the humping sessions with each other on social media!

Never mind what your partner wants! You’ll need to beat Steve from the office who is currently top of the leaderboard and clearly has an arse like a hummingbird’s wing!

The device also has a “revolutionary pacing mode that vibrates in time to a pre-set rhythm”. Bondara says: “Match the rhythm with your thrusts for the most effective stimulation. Notification lights on the top of the ring will also show what mode the SexFit is in, and illuminate in the centre when the rhythm is steady.”

Is this the most romantic thing that’s ever been made?

Listen up everyone – the world is coming to an end. Cineworld is trialling allocated seating and the internet is going into meltdown.

It started off with someone called We Are Vultures (real name, Weven R. Vultures) sending a snotty tweet to Cineworld Cinemas, who then had the audacity to tell the truth.

BtkqIDXIMAELZmB 333x500 Cineworld causing mild grief with allocated seating

 

This has been panic and outrage spreading across social media. So much so that someone’s gone to the trouble of setting up a designated account about allocated seating at Cineworld. Seriously. You can see for yourself here.

The main gripe is that you can’t just turn up to the cinema with your mates and watch a film. Presumably, you can, but that’s not the point is it? Making images like this are the point.

BuLfnXJIUAEDdEi 500x213 Cineworld causing mild grief with allocated seating

 

This harks back to the riots that spread across Britain when people had to buy tickets for seated gigs and theatre productions years ago, when 30,000 people lost their lives after refusing to take it From The Man.

You can assume that Cineworld will charge more for premium seats, which of course, some cinemas have done for years. Again, that’s not the point is it? The point is…

…well… we don’t know. Maybe you can go to the Odeon or something instead? Or download films and watch them at home? What kind of lunatic goes to the cinema anyway?

Facebook launched their Messenger service not too long ago, in a bid to muscle in on the market that WhatsApp have enjoyed so much. If you have the FB app on your phone, you were pretty much forced to download the Messenger app because Zuckerberg wouldn’t let you read your inbox without it.

Most people weren’t too fussed – it is just another app right?

Well, if you look in the terms and conditions, as spotted by IA there’s some very dodgy looking stuff in there. Not surprising that Facebook are being shady, but it makes for grim reading.

facebook messenger 500x476 Facebook Messenger recording your calls without permission?

As you can see, the t&cs say that having Messenger on your phone allows Facebook to read your phone call log, read data about who you’re contacting and when, and most worryingly, allows Facebook to take pictures and videos without your consent and record audio of your calls.

Of course, there’s still going to be people who aren’t bothered about this because they think their lives are too humdrum to warrant recording, but this is worrying. It isn’t the only app that asks for permissions such as this.

Naturally, you can uninstall the app if this makes you jumpy, or at least toggle the security settings. This seems to be the permissions for the Android version of the app, with the iPhone version being slightly different.

Facebook. Looks like they’re at it again.

facebook mobile 300x200 Facebook offering money to you, to test SlingshotFacebook are offering money to users to test out their new photo-messenger app, Slingshot.

The social network behemoth says that, if you want to get paid, you’ll have to play with the app for “about 1-2 hours per week” over a three-month period, and in return, you’ll get $200.

You’ll be looking for glitches, testing functionality and generally spouting off about the things you find good and bad about it. Of course, you could sign-up and conduct a test on Facebook and not tell them about it and get paid for trying to upset them with your findings.

They won’t mind, will they?

Slingshot was launched as a rival to Snapchat, which Mark Zuckerberg tried to buy for $3bn, but saw their advances batted away. Like all big businesses, Facebook thought ‘well, if you can’t buy them, copy them’. Of course, Facebook have already tried a similar thing with an app called Poke, but everyone was very thorough when ignoring it.

Anyway. If you want to test Slingshot for money, then click here to find out how.

okcupid 300x300 OkCupid is actually a massive psychological experiment Looking for someone with their own teeth, face, head and a GSOH who shares your love of craft beer/cat memes/potholing? Well, chances are you’ve dabbled with online dating.

If you’ve got a profile on OKCupid, however, start getting worried. Its founder Christian Rudder, recently wrote a blog post, and admitted that the site used Facebook style psychological tricks (without users’ knowledge).

The post, subtly entitled ‘We Experimented on Human Beings!’ told the world that the company removed text from profiles, hid people’s photos and even told users that they were a perfect match when actually they completely incompatible.

Why? ‘We might be popular, we might create a lot of great relationships, we might blah blah blah,’ Rudder wrote. ‘But OKCupid doesn’t really know what it’s doing. Neither does any other website. Experiments are how you sort it all out.’

Their first experiment was called ‘Love Is Blind’, and removed pictures from all the profiles and found that conversation flowed and message responses were up 44%. (Of course, as humans are irretrievably shallow, these conversations stopped as soon as the profile pictures went back up.)

Then they tried to work out how much the text on the profile mattered – compared to the photo – and found that you may as well have just written skduskwehlwhfjfdjhsjsrslrsekajeskhjr and posted a photo of a hot girl in a bikini. Text mattered less than 10%.

But perhaps most heinously, OKCupid deliberately mismatched couples to see what would happen. Thankfully, the couples figured out that they were awful for each other straight away.

While these experiments are pretty revealing, and show what a crock online dating actually is, not telling users what they’re up to is still pretty dodgy. But Rudder is unrepentant.

‘Guess what, everybody: if you use the Internet, you’re the subject of hundreds of experiments at any given time, on every site.’

*secretly massages your algorithms*

Google Glass 4 We don’t want no Tech Utopia...we dont need no thought control... Do you think the world would be just dandy if it was a headset wearing, liquid food-eating homogenised utopia run by massive tech companies?

Well, you’re in the minority. It seems like there’s a old school backlash brewing against the constant onslaught of technology – so you’d better watch out where you wear your Google goggles.

San Francisco, home of Google, is rebelling. And if the recent anger aimed at Silicon Valley is anything to go by, it looks like we really don’t want tech companies and their inventions interfering in our human interaction and daily routines.

In California, there have been vocal demonstrations and attacks on Google’s private employee buses, which operate in the Bay Area. Then a Google Glass wearer, Sarah Slocum, was attacked in a bar by a woman who claimed that Google was ‘killing the city’.

The onslaught of tech is also killing jobs. San Francisco restaurant workers are campaigning for a wage increase –and in response a Conservative lobby group who works for the US restaurant industry to threatened to replace staff with iPads.

And some of Silicon Valley’s ideas are verging on the insane. It’s even happy to crowd fund the sinister liquid food replacement Soylent – with Google’s Justine Tunney actually suggesting that they could feed it to poor Americans to make them healthy and productive.

So the old idea that if you don’t like technology, you’re a prehistoric fossil, is over. San Francisco may be a hub of artists, hippies, punks and musicians, but it’s clear that people getting increasingly concerned about the influence that social media and new tech products have over our minds and choices.

What do you think? Are we in danger of becoming oppressed Orwellian robot slaves? Or is Glass just a handy way to find a good restaurant?

Bitterwallet Facebook censorship Facebook introduces another featured to the clutterThe hilariously convoluted social network, Facebook, is adding yet more features to the already bewildering array of things you can do. You won’t do them of course, but the options is now there, which means someone at FB HQ can feel like they’ve done some work.

Facebook have said that they’ve been listening (oh, we know that – what type of listening though? The one where you listen to an answer, or the one where you listen-in?) and some users have complained that there’s just not enough time to see all the stuff that gets thrown at your feed.

Of course, the real issue is your wall is filled with stuff that Facebook deem important, not you. That’s why loads of pages you’ve liked by magazines, business and whatnot, don’t appear on your timeline any more. It isn’t a case of not having time, but rather, being restricted access.

Either way, ignoring all that, Facebook have basically come up with an option to save articles so you can read them later. Daniel Giambalvo of Facebook said: ”Every day, people find all sorts of interesting items on Facebook that they don’t have time to explore right away.”

“Now you can save items that you find on Facebook to check out later when you have more time. You can save items like links, places, movies, TV and music. Only you can see the items you save unless you choose to share them with friends.”

So basically, there’s going to be a drop-down menu with an additional option in it. It will get stored and you’ll be given reminders from Facebook telling you that you’ve got unfinished admin. This is in addition to Facebook adding a ‘buy’ button to the network.

This new feature will be rolled out over the next couple of days.

Use your iPhone at depths of 300 feet

July 11th, 2014 2 Comments By Lucy Sweet

waterproof phone case 300x300 Use your iPhone at depths of 300 feet You would think that the seabed would be the last place you’d want to take your phone.

But if your online narcissism extends to taking selfies while deep sea diving, or you just want to capture the magnificence of the Barrier reef and boast about it on Instagram, then you might want to get yourself this new waterproof iPhone case from Thanko.

The chunky aluminium case basically turns your phone into a submarine, and costs a whopping £172, but it’s a small price to pay to show off underwater. The case will keep your phone dry and safe to depths of 300 feet.

The only problem with it – although if you pay £172 for a phone case you can take underwater, the problem might also be you – is that you can’t use the phone’s touch screen.

So what you have to do is make sure you disable autolock, and put the iPhone camera icon at the bottom of the screen, so it corresponds with the touch sensitive points on the cases’ clear screen.

Then get into your scuba gear and away you go.

#coralreef #help #ohmygodimdrowning

Facebook says the internet is as vital as 911

July 8th, 2014 1 Comment By Mof Gimmers

Bitterwallet Facebook censorship Facebook says the internet is as vital as 911When Mark Zuckerberg isn’t owning Facebook and having a peculiarly long face, he’s offering advice to the rest of the world about the internet. He knows about the internet you see? The internet made him wildly rich.

However, Mark Zuckerberg isn’t exactly a nice man and his company do things that make people worried about their personal privacy; not to mention the concerns around the fact that Facebook tried to control the emotions of its users recently.

So forgive a few stifled incredulous laughs as Zuckerberg says that he sees the internet as a vital service for all, which should be as readily available as the emergency services. Presumably he doesn’t want a wall around everything, which requires you to sign-up and be swamped with lousy Buzzfeed articles all day.

In an editorial with The Wall Street Journal, the Facebook honcho said he wanted to see universal internet access, and with only a third of the world online, he sees a problem. A problem, you can assume, he’d like to fix so he can add to his already considerable coffers. Zuck is already looking beyond Facebook (seriously, he’s less concerned about Facebook than 99% of Bitterwallet readers) and eyeing up becoming an ISP, as well as working with aerial drones, satellites and laser beams and all manner of other Hank Scorpio business.

He noted that for 90% of the world’s population, they’ve got a network in place, but no affordable data plans. Provide basic internet for free, and then when they find access indispensable, try and convince them to pay for a data plan. Sounds a bit like a dealer who gives you your first couple of wraps for free.

He said: “Anyone can call 911 to get medical attention or report a crime even if you haven’t paid for a phone plan. In the future, everyone should have access to basic Internet services as well, even if they haven’t paid for a data plan.” Not only that, but; “the internet is the foundation of this economy,” and that “the internet will help drive human progress.”

Saving the World, one Candy Crush request at a time.

Facebook vs Twitter – Facebook is winning

July 3rd, 2014 1 Comment By Lucy Sweet

fail whale 300x225 Facebook vs Twitter – Facebook is winning While Twitter looks set to double its money to nearly £100m this year, Facebook is set to announce a 40% growth – taking its revenues to a Zuckertastic £570m.

Despite the 50% growth that Twitter will announce – plus the impressive growth of Twitter UK, which is expected to bring in £150m next year – the social network is lagging behind like sparrow with a broken wing. Expectations were that it would make £180m, so it’s not all exactly chirpy chirpy cheep cheep for its disappointed investors.

#failwhale

Twitter’s relative slowdown in growth is in stark contrast to the terrifying rise of Facebook, which is growing like an uncontrollable boil on the internet’s arse. It tripled its profits in the first quarter thanks to its new annoying and intrusive ad strategy, and it’s predicted that it will make £721m in 2015.

But let’s face it, Twitter is still more fun, isn’t it? And you don’t have to put up with some dipshit sharing Britain First posts and clicking on pictures of children with cancer holding hand-drawn signs saying ‘Help us get to 10,000 Likes!’

facebook mobile 300x200 Regulator probes into Facebook for emotion experimentFacebook – yes, it is still going – have been playing with people’s emotions which is very sinister, even though the company themselves are playing it down by shrugging and goofily saying it didn’t really work and, pschaw! don’t you worry about it!

However, people are worried about it and the Information Commissioner’s Office (ICO) is going to investigate. They want to know whether or not Facebook Inc broke data protection laws when they allowed researchers to do a psychological experiment on users of the social network.

Now, Facebook are taking it a little more seriously.

“It’s clear that people were upset by this study and we take responsibility for it. We want to do better in the future and are improving our process based on this feedback. The study was done with appropriate protections for people’s information and we are happy to answer any questions regulators may have,” a Facebook spokesman said.

Here’s the kicker though.

The ICO can levy fines for up to £500,000. Facebook have that kind of money down the back of their sofa, so they’ll probably say sorry, pay the fine and then conduct some more experiments because they’re bored.

Meanwhile, fans of Edward Snowden will be weighing up whether to run around, wailing hysterically about how the baddies are coming to get us or to tweet “Oh, you don’t say?!” sarcastically to their 103 followers.

What has this whole debacle taught us? That everyone, regardless of viewpoint, is annoying.