Posts Tagged ‘social media’

Bitterwallet Twitters @earlybird 550 million Twitter accounts have never even tweetedRoughly speaking, there’s 974 million Twitter users. That’s impressive isn’t it? However, according to the latest statistics from Twopcharts, there’s a lot of people not using it once they’ve signed-up.

Around 550 million people haven’t sent a single tweet, which is approximately 44% of Twitter accounts. It doesn’t end there – there’s millions and millions more who haven’t used the social network for over a year. 126 million have sent a tweet at any point over the last 30 days.

In the past, Twitter have said that the service has around 241 million average monthly users who are active, which Twopcharts disagree with.

The discrepancy seems to lie in the fact that Twopcharts are looking at accounts that send tweets, while Twitter might have access to information on people who might not tweet, but are reading other tweets and logging in.

In addition to all this, Twopcharts’ data reckons there are around 391 million Twitter accounts with 0 followers and over 232 million accounts who haven’t followed a single user.

You could argue ‘what’s the point in setting up an account then?’, but if you’d read some of stuff some people come up with, you could argue that no tweets are better than a hundred tedious tweets.

facebook mobile 300x200 Facebook to decide what you see and money serviceFacebook changed their algorithms so that your feed was filled with stuff that was, in effect, cherry-picked by the company. Small businesses soon started to complain that their posts weren’t being seen, while Buzzfeed and Upworthy links because pretty much swamped everyone’s timelines.

In essence, Facebook was deciding what users saw and it got annoying very, very quickly. And now, the social media company have announced that they’re going to be tinkering with the system again, this time, trying to remove spam stories and articles that are clickbaiting to get more likes.

Any users tying to bait people into likes, comments or shares will barred from using the site. Overly shared stories will dealt with by Facebook’s ”de-emphasizing” these pages on feeds. Pages that trick users into visiting an advertisement website will also be under scrutiny.

According to the company, they think that this will enhance a users’ experience as well as help to promote a more open Internet. A more open internet, in Facebook’s eyes, is deciding what users can and can’t see.

It seems the only way to circumnavigate these publishing problems is to buy a load of advertising with Facebook… and even then, there’s the small matter of accusations of Facebook’s dodgy use of clickfarms, which are nigh-on useless to those paying for increased exposure. If you’re not a business on FB, and just a regular Joe who wants to look at pictures of attractive people from your year at school, you can whistle.

On top of all that, and some privacy tweaks, Facebook are preparing a money transfer system, aiming to compete with Paypal. It has been reported that discussions have been held with money transfer providers, TransferWise, Moni Technologies and Azimo. They’re looking at the developing world, where some people don’t have bank accounts, and sensing a goldrush.

Would you trust Facebook with your money?

A teenage girl thought it would be really funny to tweet a terror hoax to an airline.

She said: ”@AmericanAir hello my name’s Ibrahim I’m from Afghanistan. I’m part of Al Qaida and on June 1st I’m gonna do something really big, bye”.

American Airlines responded to her tweet saying: “Sarah, we take these threats very seriously. Your IP address and details will be forwarded to security and the FBI.”

Choas ensued. Have a look.

1404sarah8 325x500 Teen makes terrorism joke   American Airlines dont laugh

That was a bit stupid wasn’t it?

Of course, it soon went viral, being retweeted more than 10,000 times. Then, she started cracking more jokes, at one point, saying: ”I always wanted to be famous, but I meant like Demi Lovato famous, not Osama bin laden famous.”

Her account is now suspended.

Wonga try to get joke taken off Twitter

April 11th, 2014 2 Comments By Mof Gimmers

Over on Twitter, where all the smug is stored these days, a joke advert where Wonga are the butt of things, is doing the rounds. It seems that Wonga aren’t happy and have tried to get Twitter to remove the image for violating copyright.

Here’s the image.

Bk7Wno5IYAAMuYz 500x354 Wonga try to get joke taken off Twitter

Now, the joke isn’t particularly good, but there’s a Streisand Effect going on where people are sharing the image more readily, just because it appears Wonga don’t like it.

The quality of satire isn’t important if you want to be seen mocking someone with loads of money. Either way, there you have it! If you want a crap joke at your expense to die, just ignore it.


Women eating. It’s so GROSS, isn’t it? Especially if they eat on the tube. I mean, what are they thinking? Surely they should just look nice and subsist on air, rather than subjecting us all to their vile public mastication?

Eating Chocolate Bar Women Eat on Tubes to demonstrate against Women Who Eat on Tubes

That seems to be the thinking behind the crap Facebook page Women Who Eat on Tubes, where people are encouraged to post their HILARIOUS invasions of people’s privacy. The page is crammed with candid shots of random women, hungry and tired and eating a takeaways on the underground. Ha. Ha. So funny. Look at her! Eating! Does she have no shame?

Bizarrely, WWEOT has 18,000 members, but hot on its heels come two other Facebook groups who want to kick its ass. The groups, both set up by women, are staging events in opposition to the page. One, called the ‘Circle Line Lunch Party’ takes place on the 14th of April, encouraging women to scoff on the train.

The other group, straightforwardly named ‘Women Can Eat Wherever The F*** They Want’ is asking women to go to their nearest tube station on the 10th of April and eat on public transport.

It’s doubtful that the shady creeps who post on WWEOT will come down with their cameras to see them scoffing cream cakes and sandwiches, but Lucy Brisbane McKay, who dreamed up the Circle Line Lunch Party said:

Lucy ‘I thought the best thing was to get the power. This is about turning it around and putting the joke on the lads posting on the page.’

Don’t mess with the ladies. We will eat you for breakfast. On the tube.

tinder Tinder: invaded with bots carrying maliciousnessMillions of people use dating app Tinder everyday, with women focused entirely on screengrabbing men and calling them names on Twitter, and men being ignored or crudely asking for pictures of boobs.

Well, if you’re using it – be careful. Why? Well, the service has been “invaded by bots” who are pretending to be humans according to security firm BitDefender.

These bots pose as women to talk to you in a text-chat before promoting a game called Castle Clash, with a link to a site called Of course, this has nothing to do with Tinder and the whole thing is dodgy.

Most of you would realise that, but as a public service to thundering simpletons, we should at least share this so they don’t end up going mental in the streets where the rest of humanity lives.

“The name of the URL gives the impression of an official page of the dating app and for extra legitimacy scammers also registered it on a reputable .com domain,” said Bitdefender’s chief security strategist Catalin Cosoi.

The developers of the Castle Clash game deny any involvement: ”We are already aware of this issue and we are currently investigating into it. We are also being victimised in this issue therefore we are grateful for being informed,” said the company in a statement to BitDefender.

We all know that alcohol creates a very specific kind of self confidence. The kind of self confidence that makes you pull your pants down, draw two ‘W’s on your butt cheeks, and flash your bumhole to people on a motorway bridge.

WKD Blue WKD ads banned on Facebook for promoting fun effects of alcohol

But the ASA has banned WKD’s Facebook ads for linking alcohol with self confidence with their so called ‘Wicked 8-ball predictions’ – which stated ‘You will refuse to do karaoke- at first.’ In their ‘About’ section they also said: ‘Where there’s good times, there’s WKD. We’re all about getting together with the best people and enjoying yourself – especially at the weekend. Like us and get involved.’

The Young Alcohol Council are angry that the company behind the disgusting blue elixir implied that alcohol is capable of altering mood and that the presence of booze was the key to having a good time with your friends. (Which of course, it is – they’re always a bunch of boring bastards when they’re sober).

Beverage Brands UK Ltd., who own WKD, said they hadn’t breached Facebook’s guidelines, but that it would remove certain posts. The ASA acknowleged that no alcohol was shown being consumed, but that their mascot – an idiot in a hat called ‘Head of WKD Weekends’ – implied that a successful weekend could only be achieved with the addition of WKD.

Of course, we all know that’s not true. It can only be achieved with the addition of beer, vodka and a nice crisp white wine. Oh, and drugs.

Behold! Tinder for people who want threesomes!

March 27th, 2014 1 Comment By Mof Gimmers

3inder Behold! Tinder for people who want threesomes!Are you and your partner thoroughly sexually bored of each other, but still want to stay together? Then why not have a threesome? Of course, organising a threesome is a huge faff, but someone has had an idea to make it easy for you!

There’s a new app called ’3nder’ which will be able to tickle your pickles.

3nder says that you can “find what you are looking for by sharing your desires” and find matches, and you will be “seen only by people who match your desires.”

“We just help you to find each other. The rest is obvious.” There is a mandate too. This new app is perfect for “singles and couples,” “swingers, newbies, curious and experienced” and they hope “to evolve our social acceptance” of all that sex stuff. They aim to “make society more open about sexual desires.” And probably make a load of money too.

The app promises to be ‘couple friendly’ and “a service that works for singles and couples” and apparently, “it’s the easiest way to find someone with similar interest and desires. You can also easily hide yourself from friends and family so you can browse freely.”

Chances are, most sign-ups will be people trying to find out if their mates are swingers or not, so they can troll them before getting confused and wondering if they can ask to join in.

Have a look at the app and never again be faced with awkward drunken come-ons to people, as seen in just about every episode of The Good Life (who wouldn’t try it on with Barbara Good, in fairness?).

Twitter: View your views

March 25th, 2014 No Comments By Ian Wade

twitter logo Twitter: View your viewsGood news online narcissists! Twitter are rolling out an update for their iOS app which will have a tweet view counter.

It will give the tweeter the brief satisfaction that they truly are being noticed, and so they can plan their tweets for maximum impact to build their online presence, the cocks.

Several iOS users have spotted a #views item now beneath their tweets, although Twitter is not saying whether it’s a permanent change or not.

There’s speculation on several more changes that the company are planning to roll out across all the platforms.

But it’s not all marching on well into the future, as Twitter announced the closure of its #Music discovery service, with the platform functioning for the four existing users until April 18th.

Norton: Down with the kids

March 25th, 2014 8 Comments By Mof Gimmers

People who insult strangers through the window of the internet, as we all know, are some of the most weak boned wimps on Earth. Quick to resort to dropping a c-bomb because it’s the nastiest insult they can think of (seriously, put your back into it trolls).

With that in mind, one young lady on Twitter called out web-nasties and mentioned Norton, who do anti-virus stuff. And oddly, Norton replied.

tumblr mhffkag76S1qit83to1 500 Norton: Down with the kids

Facebook’s head of security, Joe Sullivan, has said that the Edward Snowden NSA leaks have a ‘silver lining’ because it means that people are finally concerned about internet security.

Bitterwallet Facebook censorship Facebook security boss is glad you all now care about security

Sullivan went onto say that the Snowden case had changed how the internet dealt with security, and that increased public concern about privacy could only be a good thing.

But. It’s recently been revealed that one of NSA’s programmes, called Turbine, used a fake Facebook server to hack into millions of computers.

Oh, yes, and last year, 48.3% of Facebook users who quit the network did so not because they hated Buzzfeed quizzes and videos of grannies dancing to ‘Happy.’ Their reason? Concerns about privacy on Facebook.

Do excuse me while I have a sarcastic, hollow laugh.



Facebook lambast Obama for spying: misses irony

March 14th, 2014 2 Comments By Mof Gimmers

Bitterwallet Facebook censorship Facebook lambast Obama for spying: misses ironyFacebook have a long history of privacy issues, mostly for using unsuspecting people’s personal information for their own gain. They mine users data, profile everyone and turn it into money for themselves. Basically, regardless of age or gender, Zuckerberg’s company watch what you ‘Like’ and talk about and turn it into gold.

Facebook has even had to pay out a $20 million settlement for sharing users’ likes in “Sponsored Stories” without permission.

And so, to Mark Zuckerberg’s open complaint to President Barack Obama about the continuing mutterings about the US government spying on the activities of some of his company’s 1.2 billion users.

Apparently, the Facebook founder phoned Barack Obama to gripe about his frustration over the NSA’s ALLEGED programmes and noted that Facebook has been focusing their time on making its own network secure and looking at the weaknesses of others because they want to ‘keep the Internet strong.’

While everyone is having a nice time online, Zuckerberg pretty much told the Prez outright that noted that the government are undoing all of the goodwill.

In an open letter, the Facebook fella said:

“As the world becomes more complex and governments everywhere struggle, trust in the internet is more important today than ever.
The internet is our shared space. It helps us connect. It spreads opportunity. It enables us to learn. It gives us a voice. It makes us stronger and safer together.”

“To keep the internet strong, we need to keep it secure. That’s why at Facebook we spend a lot of our energy making our services and the whole internet safer and more secure. We encrypt communications, we use secure protocols for traffic, we encourage people to use multiple factors for authentication and we go out of our way to help fix issues we find in other people’s services.”

“The internet works because most people and companies do the same. We work together to create this secure environment and make our shared space even better for the world.”

“This is why I’ve been so confused and frustrated by the repeated reports of the behavior of the US government. When our engineers work tirelessly to improve security, we imagine we’re protecting you against criminals, not our own government.”

“The US government should be the champion for the internet, not a threat. They need to be much more transparent about what they’re doing, or otherwise people will believe the worst.”

“I’ve called President Obama to express my frustration over the damage the government is creating for all of our future. Unfortunately, it seems like it will take a very long time for true full reform.”

“So it’s up to us — all of us — to build the internet we want. Together, we can build a space that is greater and a more important part of the world than anything we have today, but is also safe and secure. I’m committed to seeing this happen, and you can count on Facebook to do our part.”

Spread a little happiness on Facebook

March 13th, 2014 No Comments By Lucy Sweet

A smile really is better than a frown – even on the Internet. Yes, it’s now officially been proven that positive social media posts have more reach than negative ones. Other people’s happiness is contagious, both in real life, and online.

smiley face 300x300 Spread a little happiness on Facebook

That’s according to researchers at the University of California, who studied more than a billion Facebook updates over a three year period (POOR THEM) and found that happiness spread further, while misery generally gets two likes and a ‘u ok hun?’ from someone called Janice. Obviously, you can spread your negativity around, too, but it’s not as powerful as happiness.

They worked this out by contrasting data from cities in which in rained a lot, and compared it to data from cities where the weather was good. (Weather is known to affect people’s moods and levels of negativity, as anyone who has been to Glasgow knows).

In the cities where it wasn’t raining there were more positive posts. A positive post generated an average of 1.75 other positive posts. But a negative post from the damp stragglers in the rainy cities only generated a further 1.29 negative responses.

James Fowler, professor of political science at the University said:

‘We have enough power in this data set to show that emotional expressions spread online and also that positive expressions spread more than negative. It is possible that emotional contagion online is even stronger than we were able to measure.’


*no likes*

#TPforyourbumhole: Bog roll goes interactive

March 11th, 2014 2 Comments By Lucy Sweet

sxsw refresh 300x300 #TPforyourbumhole: Bog roll goes interactiveWe live in a world where even dogs at Crufts have their own hashtag (#colinthepomeranian, you were robbed). Now, a toilet paper brand has been making a social media stink at SXSW Interactive in Austin, Texas.

Cottonelle have not only set up an onsite area called the Refresh Lounge, but they’ve started a hashtag called – wait for it – #letstalkbums.

Do we have to #talkbums? Well, Cottonelle want to – they’re keen to promote their new ‘SafeFlush’ technology, which allows wipers and poopers to flush with impunity. And obviously, there’s got to be a social media presence, even though nobody really wants to talk about bums EVER.

It’s the latest in a long line of companies desperately trying to shoehorn their products into the world of social media– trying to start an ‘organic conversation’ about tampons or furniture polish or cereal in a variety of increasingly desperate ways.

Yet it’s not stopping Cottonelle, who are a major presence at the conference – in the Refresh Lounge you can get a massage or have your hair dyed toilet-water blue, and it also has phone and tablet charging stations. And the bathrooms are stocked with more bum wipes than you can shake a (shitty) stick at.

And guess what? As a result, #letstalkbums is trending on Twitter.


Want a kidney? Buy one on Facebook

March 11th, 2014 No Comments By Mof Gimmers

Bitterwallet Facebook censorship Want a kidney? Buy one on FacebookFor some reason, Facebook users in the UK don’t need kidneys and really like having needless operations. We know this because there’s a report which tells us all that they’re trying to sell them on Facebook.

A Scottish newspaper found that people are trying to make some quick cash by selling bits of their insides to complete strangers.

The reporter posed as someone who had a sister who needed a transplant, so he advertised himself on a Facebook page and received 11 messages from people who were willing to go without an organ in exchange for cash.

One man from the North said he wanted £30,000 for his kidney, while someone in Northampton thought less of his innards and asked for £20,000.

Luc Noel, an advisor for the World Health Organisation, said that the “Facebook experience is revealing. It demonstrates the vulnerability of some people and the power of easy money. This is one of the reasons to prohibit payment.”

For legal reasons, we should point out that Facebook doesn’t condone having a marketplace for internal organs, but then again, they’re weird and like beheadings more than breastfeeding photos, so you never know.