Keen-brained scientists recently discovered that running shoes probably do you more harm than good and that barefoot is the way to go if you want to avoid injury. Obviously, that rule doesn’t apply to the mean streets of our fair nation and their broken glass-strewn streets.

So where do these wooden K-Swiss trainers fit into the brave new world of Zola Budd-influenced running? Fucking nowhere, that’s where – they’re as pointless as a chocolate padlock.

Thankfully there’s only 25 pairs in existence, but for us that’s still 25 too many. Still, at least Brian May might get a pair – he only wears clogs you know (or so we heard.) AND his guitar was made out of an old fireplace as well.

We could go on, but we suspect you wouldn’t want us to…

[INewIdea]

Are you worried that your inane musings on Twitter might actually be the most boring thing on the entire network of micro-bloggers? Don’t worry because they’re not.

This is. It’s the tweeting Twitter shoe, or the Rambler to give it its correct name.

The innovative little devils who came up with it explain…

“Everyone that uses the microblog service notice the massive amount of useless information that is spread over there. This project intent to criticize this by posting literally every step you take in real life.

A sensor embedded under the sole detects when the wearer is walking. This information is sent via blooetooth to a mobile phone that makes the postings on Twitter. When the sensor detects a certain amount of pressure, the word “step” is posted. For the other moments the “.” symbol is posted.

Following these postings one can know if the wearer is walking or not and also predict his speed.”

Blooetooth eh? Cool. Sadly, it looks as though the Rambler isn’t going to catch on – since it started tweeting on January 8^th, it has amassed the fairly poxy total of just 100 followers. In fact, the shoes haven’t even tweeted since January 9^th.

Has someone nicked the Rambler shoes? They have? Good.

Here’s an enormous boon for fat, lazy bastards who can’t be bothered to put on and take off their shoes like normal people… the Shoedini. And one thing’s for sure… we’re always on the lookout for enormous boons.

Worthy of almost getting on to an episode of Dragon’s Den, it’s a telescopic arm with a shoe horn fixed on to it. And that’s it. Imagine the looks you’ll get next time you visit your private members club of choice and facilitate the removal of your footwear with one of these babies!

Alternatively, they’d be ideal if you’re having a contest to see how far you can throw a dead field mouse (warning: Shoedini does not come with dead field mouse.)

Bitterwallet smells a catfight a-comin’ – with cheap Jimmy Choo shoes as the star prize.

H&M are lining up the mother of all girl-on-girl showdowns when an affordable collection of the Choo shoes (and other Choo clobber) goes on sale in 16 of their stores at 9am on Saturday November 14^th.

The range will include more than 40 pieces of girl gear including clothing and handbaggage along with the shoes, with most of it available for a knock-down price under £100.

The demand is expected to be phenomenal with Choo fanatics set to queue up all night in a bid to buy some of the items. Keen to avoid an all-out woman war, H&M will be issuing wristbands to the first 160 people in the queue. They will then get ten minutes in the stores’ VIP Choo area in groups of 20 and will be limited to purchasing one item per size.

The participating stores will be London’s Covent Garden; Knightsbridge; Kensington High St; Regent St; Oxford St; Westfield; Brent Cross. Birmingham Bullring; Bluewater; Brighton; Cardiff; Glasgow; Manchester’s Market St & Trafford Centre; Newcastle; Dublin; Dundrum.

eBay will probably be flooded with the stuff by lunchtime on the 14^th.

Breaking news – the administrators have taken over at the shoe-store chains of Barratt and Priceless Shoes.

Between them, the brands have approximately 400 stores in the UK, employing 5450 staff.  The stores are continuing to trade and their parent company Stylo is not in administration at this point – trading in its shares has been suspended though.

In 2008, Stylo posted a pre-tax loss of £12.5m, following on from a loss of £7.1m the previous year. They join fellow footwear hawkers Stead & Simpson, Dolcis and Faith in the admin pen.

We’re all hardened clog men here at Bitterwallet so we’ve no real experience of any of those stores, but if you have, tell us where they all went wrong.