Posts Tagged ‘service’
Sky’s live streaming service Now TV, is not exactly popular with users at the moment. Customers have been left angry when the service cut out half way through someone having their knob chopped off with a sword in Game of Thrones, and there was a disastrous outage during the Premier League final stage, which caused a flood of complaints from fans.
Now TV also sent a very apologetic email about the technical faults that have plagued the service, which read:
‘We know NOW TV hasn’t been working as it should have been recently and we’re incredibly sorry for the interruptions to your viewing.’ They bleated.
‘We want to assure you that we’re working tirelessly on this complex technical issue. This is our top priority and the whole NOW TV team is focused on making sure we are doing everything we can to make things better. We’re sorry for not delivering the high-quality service you rightly expect from us.’
As well as the groveling, they’re offering a £10 voucher you can use at Sainsbury’s, Asda, Argos or Amazon. Is that good enough for you, telly addled proles?
What’s the betting that customers will soon be leaving in their droves?
The new campaign from those consumer muskateers Which! is focusing on broadband providers, and demanding that they guarantee their broadband speeds.
Three in five people regularly experience slow speeds and problems with broadband – that’s 13 million households that Which! describe as in the ‘broadband slow lane.’
They found that internet provider customer satisfaction is low. In their survey, they found that a quarter of people who reported interruptions in their service had to wait days for the situation to be resolved – with one in ten having no internet for a week.
Speedy broadband is becoming an increasingly essential service as we spent all our waking hours online, shopping, trolling and watching movies.
So Which! are asking broadband providers to give customers speed estimates for their properties before you sign a contract, and allow customers to break the contract without being penalised if they fail to meet their speeds.
Over to you, Speedy Gonzales himself, Ricardo Lloyd:
‘The internet is an essential part of modern life, yet millions of us are getting frustratingly slow speeds and having to wait days to get reconnected when things go wrong. It’s less superfast broadband, more super slow service from companies who are expecting people to pay for speeds they may never get.’
YOU TELL ‘EM.
Do you sometimes wish that you had a chef? Some skilled and multi-talented cook who could whip you up a treat when you can’t be arsed to order a Dominos again?
Well, a new app and website, called Cookisto, is a kind of Grindr for the greedy, and a godsend for lazy gits everywhere. Cookisto allows amateur and aspiring chefs in your area to bring their delicious leftovers straight to your door. Pay £8 and you could be sticking your head in someone else’s curry, or heaving the Tupperware lid off some culinary delight from a local cook.
But don’t worry that you’re going to get a hairball in your meatballs or some arsenic in your arrabiata– the chefs have to pass hygiene standards first. (Unless they come to your house with KNIVES, in which case, sorry, you’re on your own.)
Cookisto is a huge hit in Athens, where 12000 people have signed up to scoff some local leftovers, and the service has now launched in the UK. On the UK version, there’ll also be a new bespoke service where you can commission them to cook a meal of your choice.
So there’s no need to ever go in the kitchen again. In fact, you can just burn it down.
Are you unpopular? Are you a bitter, petty and vindictive swine who alienates everybody around you with your stinkbomb of a personality? Well, worry no more, because when you die, you can now rent someone to cry at your funeral for just £45!
The trend for professional mourning started in China and the Far East, and now the service has extended to Essex. The agency, Rent a Mourner, have 20 actors (or ‘moirologists’ as they’re technically known) for hire to make up your funeral numbers and have a good old grief stricken blub at the back of the church.
The Chinese swear by rented sobbers, and it’s also a service that’s popular in the Middle East, where much wailing and gnashing of teeth is used to mark the passing of loved ones. The rise of multiculturalism in the UK has led to more demand here, causing Ian Robertson to start his sad agency in Braintree.
‘It is growing in the UK – our bookings are up 50 per cent year on year.’ he says.’ Our staff will meet with the client beforehand and agree “the story”, so our staff will either have known the deceased professionally or socially. They will be informed of the deceased’s background, achievements, failures etc., so they can converse with other mourners with confidence.’
So next time you’re at a funeral, check out the back row for a hammy actress with an onion in her hanky who says: ‘Boo hoo -£45 please.’
Getting a parcel delivered when you’re out isn’t so bad because you can breathe easy knowing that the postman will leave a red ‘you were out’ card, or leave it in a safe place for you to find.
One delivery person found a novel solution to this problem.
…and once you’ve heard that phrase, you’ll never think about customer relations in the same way again.
Better still, once you’ve had it repeatedly rapped into your brain by the staff of Alaskan tat emporium Once In A Blue Moose in this, their training video, you’ll be equipped with a mantra that will refuse to leave your brain for the rest of the day.
Nice to see an ‘au naturel’ Lady Gaga make a cameo appearance as Moody Hoodie Assistant though…
All kinds of interesting global trends first start in Japan. So could this be the next big thing? Read the rest of this entry »