Posts Tagged ‘service’
Do you sometimes wish that you had a chef? Some skilled and multi-talented cook who could whip you up a treat when you can’t be arsed to order a Dominos again?
Well, a new app and website, called Cookisto, is a kind of Grindr for the greedy, and a godsend for lazy gits everywhere. Cookisto allows amateur and aspiring chefs in your area to bring their delicious leftovers straight to your door. Pay £8 and you could be sticking your head in someone else’s curry, or heaving the Tupperware lid off some culinary delight from a local cook.
But don’t worry that you’re going to get a hairball in your meatballs or some arsenic in your arrabiata– the chefs have to pass hygiene standards first. (Unless they come to your house with KNIVES, in which case, sorry, you’re on your own.)
Cookisto is a huge hit in Athens, where 12000 people have signed up to scoff some local leftovers, and the service has now launched in the UK. On the UK version, there’ll also be a new bespoke service where you can commission them to cook a meal of your choice.
So there’s no need to ever go in the kitchen again. In fact, you can just burn it down.
Are you unpopular? Are you a bitter, petty and vindictive swine who alienates everybody around you with your stinkbomb of a personality? Well, worry no more, because when you die, you can now rent someone to cry at your funeral for just £45!
The trend for professional mourning started in China and the Far East, and now the service has extended to Essex. The agency, Rent a Mourner, have 20 actors (or ‘moirologists’ as they’re technically known) for hire to make up your funeral numbers and have a good old grief stricken blub at the back of the church.
The Chinese swear by rented sobbers, and it’s also a service that’s popular in the Middle East, where much wailing and gnashing of teeth is used to mark the passing of loved ones. The rise of multiculturalism in the UK has led to more demand here, causing Ian Robertson to start his sad agency in Braintree.
‘It is growing in the UK – our bookings are up 50 per cent year on year.’ he says.’ Our staff will meet with the client beforehand and agree “the story”, so our staff will either have known the deceased professionally or socially. They will be informed of the deceased’s background, achievements, failures etc., so they can converse with other mourners with confidence.’
So next time you’re at a funeral, check out the back row for a hammy actress with an onion in her hanky who says: ‘Boo hoo -£45 please.’
Getting a parcel delivered when you’re out isn’t so bad because you can breathe easy knowing that the postman will leave a red ‘you were out’ card, or leave it in a safe place for you to find.
One delivery person found a novel solution to this problem.
…and once you’ve heard that phrase, you’ll never think about customer relations in the same way again.
Better still, once you’ve had it repeatedly rapped into your brain by the staff of Alaskan tat emporium Once In A Blue Moose in this, their training video, you’ll be equipped with a mantra that will refuse to leave your brain for the rest of the day.
Nice to see an ‘au naturel’ Lady Gaga make a cameo appearance as Moody Hoodie Assistant though…
All kinds of interesting global trends first start in Japan. So could this be the next big thing? Read the rest of this entry »