With only a few hours left before Valentine’s Day (if you regard more than a hundred as a few) here’s some of the latest ways you can show your love and increase your chances of getting a quick bout of ramalamadingdong without burning a hole in your all-important pocket area.

If it wasn’t for HotUKDeals, there would be no love anywhere, ever. Know this.

First off comes that traditional symbol of what we all know and love to call luuurrrve – it’s the dozen of the red roses. Not only are they beautiful and romantic but they taste great too! (note to self – research this before publishing)

But I can’t afford a dozen red roses we hear you roar. Ah, but what if they were only £2.00? HotUKDeals reader sausage25 is right behind such affordable blooms, saying: “Cheap and nasty tiny-headed roses which will droop within two days. These roses can’t be produced at this price without exploiting the growers.” So, erm, there you go.

Next up comes the romantic meal, and you can’t swisher and seductivlier (it’s sort of a word) than a Harvester restaurant. For God’s sake, there’s the infinite salad bar, the Kickin’ Garlic Chicken and the Original Spitroast. It’s all there!

Now you can get a £4.99 early bird meal deal with a FREE Sundae Best ice cream thrown into the bargain. If that won’t win the heart of your fair maiden/rugged manbloke of choice then we don’t know what will. Rohypnol?

Finally today, one for all you long-distance lovers – the kind who can only stay in touch by getting on the net and having long, lingering web chats together. Now you can ‘look’ at each other in a higher visual quality.

It’s all thanks to the Microsoft Lifecam Cinema HD 720p widescreen webcam, which is only £39.94 delivered and a right proper bargain. But if you’re an ageing Eastenders legend who decides to indulge in a game of the Mr Sausage puppet show with a fan, take care – it could cost you your job.

(deals found by HUKD members craigk8163, ianshona and 888)

As retailers lick their lips and reinforce their tills in preparation for the latest consumer-burgling festival, today’s deals all stink of the romance of Valentine’s Day.

We’re blowing big sloppy kisses at HotUKDeals for coming up with the goods…

Firstly, we focus on the traditional Valentine gift, a dozen red roses. They say so much – everything from “You are my heart’s desire” to “Here – I couldn’t think of anything else so I thought I’d perpetuate this tired cliché.”

Whatever they say to you, you can get a dozen red roses delivered to your door/hatch or the door/hatch of your loved one for £17.55. And it says here that they’re Fairtrade, which means that they’re, erm, edible or something.

But of course, for some of us, romance isn’t just a one-day-a-year job – it’s a non-stop smoochfest. Which leads us on to the next bargain of the day – 3 nights away at a hotel for only £99.

If that wasn’t enough, your rampant sessions of yankee doodle need only be interrupted for you to avail yourself of the free breakfast that you’ll get as part of the deal. Nirvana!

Finally, if you’re a man who forgets all about, or can’t be bloody well arsed with Valentine’s Day you could find yourself on the receiving end of a violent attack from your good lady, maybe with a rolling pin or possibly the business end of her walking stick.

Might be a good idea then to invest in a packet of these – 16 Ibuprofen tablets. They’ll provide quick and effective pain relief and can be yours for only 20p. Ouch!

(deals found by HUKD members taddyb, goldingone and DavidL)