Certain food products, which we may have assumed had been thrown into the great skip in the sky, are making a comeback on British shelves. Whilst TV chefs yell at us to rummage in hedgerows for seasonal nuts and berries and lifestyle supplements extol the virtues of scallops, it seems that British people are flicking the Vickies and going straight for processed gunk! How brilliant!

The BBC have reported that sales of Arctic Roll are on the rise and that people are going mental for Supermousse again. Even Findus Crispy Pancakes are (slowly) making a comeback, seeing the need to get a specially designated Twitter account.

Does this mean that we’ll get a return of Vienetta (the poshest of all desserts, surely?) Or maybe we’ll all start getting cravings for Angel Delight so bad that we’ll find people guzzling it, dry from the packet, in the aisles of Britain’s supermarkets?

As long as people don’t start squirting Primula Cheese or thinking that Sodastream is a good idea, we should be okay. So. Who is up for a can of Quattro and a bag of Hedgehog flavour crisps then? Stick your sorbets where the sun don’t shine… okay? I’m off getting wasted on Party 7’s.