Posts Tagged ‘restaurant’
Bacon restaurant closes down because of the bacon stink
May 20th, 2013 • 4 Comments
A bacon restaurant in San Francisco – called Bacon Bacon – has been ordered to shut its doors forever, thanks to the smell of bacon.
Who would have ever thought a bacon restaurant would stink of bacon? Well, for one, the neighbours who complained about it.
The owners apparently had months to address the “porcine aroma” and “grease disposal” issues, but alas, didn’t manage to do so.
“It’s frustrating,” said owner Jim Angelus. “Two weeks ago, the health department showed up saying we had no permits. So we had a hearing and one person showed up saying they were opposed.”
“They told us we had long enough to resolve these issues – and as a result, we have to cease operations May 17.”
Piggin’ awful, etc.
Restaurant gives ‘fat girls’ a receipt
December 12th, 2012 • 8 CommentsSome dumbass waiter from Americaland has been suspended from his job after referring to three female customers as “fat girls” on their bill.
Christine Duran, Christina Huerta and Isabel Robles (of no fixed weight) were dining at the Chilly D’s in California when they got more than they bargained for.
“I got the bill, I was looking at the bill… I was like, ‘Why does this receipt say fat girls?’” Duran told ABC News.
Well, it seems that their waiter had popped ‘fat girls’ into the restaurant’s system so he could remember which table they were. Duran asked the manager for an explanation, but he “had a smirk on his face, like it was funny but trying not to laugh”.
Jimmy Siemers, co-owner of Chilly D’s, said: “I just want to tell them we’re sincerely sorry and we’ll do everything in our power to make sure this never happens to anyone again.”
Staff encouraged to be thundering berks at Jamie Oliver’s restaurants
August 24th, 2012 • 13 CommentsOver on Twitter, a list has been shared out which is apparently the words that the staff are encouraged to use at Jamie Oliver’s restaurants. Of course, your blood-pressure will rocket as you read things like “pimp”, “slamming” and “proper rustic.”
Sadly, “overpriced”, “galling” and “shite” haven’t been included, which is strange.
Masterchef or Mistresschef? Mao’s not sure and he’s cooked the evidence!
May 26th, 2012 • 6 Comments
Mao's junk, cooked.
If you think that Heston Blumenthal’s experiments with electric ice cream and chips made from the caramalised-the-deep-fried souls of angels are the last word in imaginative cuisine then think again. But don’t think too hard about the following…
Mao Sugiyama, born a man but living as a self-described ‘asexual’ is a chef in Japan. He/she/it recently decided that as his/her/its penis and testicles were pretty much redundant, it might be a good idea to have them hacked off and serve them up for high-paying diners. Cannibalism? Possibly, but it seems that Japan has no laws against such a thing.
In the end, only five people stepped up to the plate that was containing Mao’s reproductive organs, each of them paying $250 to chew on them. The reviews weren’t great either – apparently the penis was rubbery; the scrotum was leathery and the testicles were hard on the outside and “glutinous” in the middle.
Your move Heston – we’re happy to sharpen the knife.
[BuzzFeed]
Commercial Break: Please don’t make us go to this Place
April 26th, 2012 • 20 CommentsThis one’s currently doing the rounds in the virals – a lightly horrifying promo ad for The Place, a New York restaurant. Getting the proprietor of a business to appear in the ads is rarely a good move and that’s proved here again, although it’s the ‘customers’ that are the most troubling aspects.
Are they real people? Are they acting? How fussy an eater is the woman? What else did they get up to when they were in Argentina? How easy/hard was it for the ad’s director to evoke the woozy feeling that one would experience while on powerful barbituates?
Our kind of restaurant…
September 20th, 2011 • 2 CommentsHow much to eat the puppy?
Sign before you dine, phones and camera are off the menu
August 16th, 2011 • 6 Comments
Course #22 - Angel Delight
Tasting menus are the stuff of legend. Course upon course piled up on your table, and a bill at the end of the night that’s just as meaty. A new concept restaurant in the US has taken the tasting menu to the extreme, and will serve you nothing other than a 16 or 24 course tasting menu – but only if you sign a two-page contract beforehand.
What do you have to agree to before tucking into your grub at Rogue 24 in Washington DC? Well, you have to leave your mobile at home – phones are barred. Cameras aren’t allowed either, so that diners are “able to enjoy the experiences that surround them at Rogue24 free of distraction”.
What else? If reservations are cancelled after 3 pm on the day, then you’ll be charged a 100% cancellation fee. If you turn up later than 30 minutes for your booking, your reservation will be cancelled – and then you’ll be charged a 100% cancellation fee, too.
It’s the kind of shock bullshit that suits and show-offs will be milking themselves over – expect the restaurant to be rammed to the rim every night with pretentious la la’s fawning over a green drizzle of flecky snot on a plate.
[Eater]
Toddlers in restaurants – a guide is born
February 16th, 2011 • 19 Comments
A typical parent taking their typical child for a nice day out
What’s worse than a baby on a plane? A toddler in a restaurant that’s what. While you, as a functioning adult minding your own fucking business, try and spend some money on nice food and a civilised night out, along comes some braying little bollock with a wax-candle of snot on their top lip and tiny lungs able to implode your ears with guttural screams of pointless, needy anguish.
And now, someone has created a guide, aimed at parents who want to take their stupid waddling offspring to restaurants. Sadly, it isn’t a piece of paper that simply says “Don’t Even Think About Taking Those Little Shits Of Yours Anywhere Near A Restaurant“.
Some of you may feel desperately sorry for those poor buggers who took their little dotes for a nice meal. They’ve wanted to treat themselves, introduce their children to new cuisine and ended up with a night where everyone glares at them, mutters obscenities under their breath, prompting reddened cheeks and frazzled nerves.
The rest of us don’t feel sorry. We feel angry and stressed out simply by proximity to your awful, awful children. Restaurants are supposed to provide a bit of luxurious refuge for people who have had a rubbish week at work. They’re supposed to sound like polite laughter and the gentle clinks of cutlery on plates – not like someone kicked a piglet through the door which has electrodes passing thousands of volts through its underdeveloped genitalia.
So what useful information does the guide give? Well, it suggests that you don’t go to a restaurant that will stress you or the kids out. That’s forgetting that children get stressed out the split-second they’re asked to sit still. It also says that you ought to go when toddlers are not too hungry. Also, take books or small quiet toys, sit away from couples and, failing that, tie them up to a lamppost outside until they shut-up.
Top places to take your vomiting children are, according to the BBC, Giraffe, Pizza Express, Carluccio’s Caffe, Wagamama, Nando’s, Cafe Rouge and Zizzi. Although, in the case of Nando’s, anyone eating in there, regardless of age, should be weeping loudly as the food is so insultingly dreadful.
The best thing to remember is that, while you think your child is consistently charming and brilliant, if it is throwing handfuls of faeces at diners, it might be a good idea to hoik them out and kick them into oncoming traffic.
Hungry? Why not have some Rotten Cake Made Out Of Wood?
September 23rd, 2010 • 11 CommentsTalk about lost in translation. This Portuguese menu appeared on the blog of author Charles Stross, and is highlighted as an example of diabolical translation programs. Is it for real? Can’t be but we’re not THAT bothered though because it made us laugh like little children.
Mmmm… jumping clitoris….
[Thanks to avid Bitterwallet reader Thom]
They’re calling it the greatest picture ever…
April 22nd, 2010 • 15 Comments
Whale-serving California restaurant forced to close
March 22nd, 2010 • 8 Comments
There’s only a handful of types of meat that we at Bitterwallet wouldn’t sample if it placed in front of us. We’d probably do a human because there’s already far too many of them around, but endangered beasts would be a no-no.
Like whale meat for example. But a top California restaurant has just been caught out serving up whale meat at £57 a plateful. The Hump (now there was a BIG clue) in Santa Monica was secretly infiltrated and filmed by investigative documentary makers and the restaurant’s owners now face the full wrath of the law.
They were found to be selling a meal called ”omakase,” a Japanese term for chef’s choice, which the moviemakers had analysed and discovered to be from a poor endangered whale. The owners of The Hump have shut the place down, probably as much to do with the response they could expect from animal activists and call the closure a “self-imposed punishment.”
In order to gain the confidence of the restaurant staff and get the job done right, one of the filmmaking activists, a vegan, ate blowfish and other seafood. So who’s the one who should be REALLY ashamed about all of this? Eh?
Have you ever visited a restaurant where you’ve found yourself dubious about the identity of the animal you were eating? Why not name and shame the establishment below? But bear in mind that it’ll be YOUR arse they’ll come after if you libel them…
A refreshingly honest restuarant advert
December 20th, 2009 • 8 CommentsRestaurants would do well to follow this example and express what we, the customer, are already thinking – instead of looking down their nose at us as if we violated their mother when we ask for an extra basket of bread:
[Twitter]
What Russian billionaires have for lunch…
November 3rd, 2009 • 20 Comments
Chelsea FC owner Roman Abramovich has been banned from splashing out on new players until the summer of 2011, but the FIFA ban won’t see him putting his wallet into hibernation.
From TMZ, here’s the receipt following a Roman feast at Nello’s restaurant on Madison Avenue, New York City – a mouth-watering $47,221.09. Abramovich allegedly chucked in an extra $5,000 tip on top as well, and with ten diners present, that comes to a delicious $5,222 per head.
Mmmm… truffles, mmmm… filet mignon, mmmm… posh wine, mmmm…hang on, $15 for a tiramisu? $28 for a couple of ‘parmesan chunks?’ Sounds like the opulent Russian billionaire has had the piss taken out of him.
Yes, this is a restaurant we’d definitely go to…
September 17th, 2009 • 11 CommentsA London restaurant flyer as spotted by publishing legend David Hepworth at And Another Thing…
Restaurant loves lampshade, yours for only €9
August 31st, 2009 • 6 CommentsYes, it’s only a matter of days before we recruit Doc Cox to the editorial team. Until then, more of your menus lost in translation, this time from Bitterwallet reader Stuart:
A little known fact is that That’s Life! co-presenter Adrian Mills was so taken by the menu blunders featured on the show, that he is now the co-owner of Thai Tho in Wimbledon. The restaurant’s other celebrity claim to fame is that it’s “Maria Sharapova’s favourite restaurant” during the tennis championships.
There’s a certain satisfaction in completing the editorial circle in a post like this, even if there’s none taken in reading it.
