Posts Tagged ‘police’

Driver fined for eating a banana

June 29th, 2015 5 Comments By Mof Gimmers

sad bananas 300x201 Driver fined for eating a bananaMost drivers are pretty aware of what they’re doing, hence the reason why you can go for entire months without seeing a bad crash. Drivers, contrary to popular belief, are not stupid because crashing your car is a) Expensive and b) Might mangle you up.

So with that, one driver was stuck in a traffic jam and thought they’d have a bite of a banana. Sounds innocent enough? Well, she was astonished to find that a policeman in an unmarked car was pulling her over and doling out a fine of £100.

Elsa Harris from Dorset said the banana was already half-peeled before she set off to work, and thought she’d have a bite while her car was stationary. The police pulled her over and then accused of momentarily not being in control of her vehicle and was given a fine and the option of three penalty points or paying for a driver awareness course.

She said: “I was dumbfounded. I was horrified that he gave me a ticket – it’s the most expensive banana I’ve ever had in my life. I had already peeled it and started driving. Then when I stopped at a roundabout I pulled down a little bit of banana skin momentarily and carried on eating and driving. Unbeknown to me, there was an unmarked police car that followed me all the way down the dual carriageway and then pulled in front of me and slammed its brakes on. It caused confusion with other drivers and people were beeping.”

“I wondered what on earth was going on and wondered if it was something coming along and he was warning me. When the officer got out he was really angry from the offset, but I was still completely unaware I had done anything wrong. The officer said I was driving without my hands on the wheel and that I was a danger to other drivers.”

“I couldn’t believe it. He put me in the back of his car like a criminal and told me what a danger I was. He gave me a docket and fined me £100 and treated me in a very dismissive and rude fashion. Understandably, it is illegal to take both hands off the wheel but I don’t think I was a danger to anybody. I have never been in trouble with the police before and a warning should have sufficed.”

“You get drink drivers, people texting and eating while they speed along. Surely, me eating a banana in a traffic jam is not that important.”


car crash 239x300 Drunk drivers to be whisked through courts this ChristmasIt’s Christmas time. There’s no need to be afraid.

Unless you’re driving a car after sinking a skinful, that is. Drink driving is a level of uncool that we can all agree on, and as traditional as defrosting a mince pie and having to source a disgusting jumper for a work fun day, the police will be stepping up their drunk driving campaigns.

Along with several police services around the country announcing that they will ‘name and shame’ offenders on Twitter, comes the news that people who drink drive will be banned before Christmas.

Extra court time has been made available to ensure those who drink or drug drive in Advent will be off the roads before the holidays.

The Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) and the courts will see extra time at magistrates’ courts to ensure offenders are dealt with fast. Meaning that anyone caught in the next few weeks will be banned before the 25th comes around. Those who offend later in the month can expect a ban early in the New Year.

Superintendent Jane Derrick, the head of roads policing, said: “I’m grateful for the courts and the CPS working with us to make these extra slots available so we can get drink and drug-drivers off the streets as quickly as possible.”

“There is often a delay of weeks between an individual being charged and them appearing in court but these slots mean those charged with offences early in December could be dealt with by magistrates and banned from the roads in time for Christmas. There is no excuse for driving while over the limit or after taking drugs but there remains a small minority who refuse to believe the law applies to them.”

“Don’t get behind the wheel if you’ve been drinking or you are still under the influence of from the night before. The loss of your licence is the Christmas present no one wants.”

It’s common sense really. As anyone who has lost someone to an accident caused by a drunk behind the wheel will agree with. Patrols will look for offenders while teams will respond to public tip-offs and spot checks will be set up in places with a history of drink-driving.

UK man arrested for running proxy server

August 8th, 2014 3 Comments By Ian Wade

computer virus UK man arrested for running proxy server A British man has been arrested for running a proxy server.

The 20 year old was arrested for running the Immunicity proxy server, allowing access to 36 websites that had already been blocked off for being bad men, the U.K. Police Intellectual Property Crime Unit (PIPCU) said Thursday.

The arrest is part of the City of London Police unit’s ongoing drive to clamp down on websites providing access to illegal or infringing content.

The man, whose name is as yet unknown, was arrested in Nottingham and released on bail after helping detectives with their enquiries and handed over the names of the domain sites.

Those sites now have a police warning banner, like a virtual ‘POLICE DO NOT CROSS’ thing.

“We will come down hard on people believed to be committing or deliberately facilitating such offences,” detective chief inspector and head of PIPCU, Andy Fyfe, said in a statement.

Immunicity allowed users to configure their browsers to route requests via a proxy server to access blocked websites.

Sites that were unblocked by the service included the Pirate Bay, Kickass Torrents, h33t and several other torrent sites, according to a YouTube video foolishly promoting the service.

However, Jim Killock, executive director of the Open Rights Group (ORG), reckons that the arrested man is young and appears not to have been running the proxy service for profit. “One could wonder whether the police had to be involved at this point,” he said.

“I suspect he has done this because he feels annoyed at the Internet being censored, and this is kind of a personal protest rather than an attempt to simply encourage infringements,” Killock said.

Freedom fighter or dodgy sort? Who knows?

Police block ads in anti-piracy war

July 29th, 2014 2 Comments By Lucy Sweet

music piracy Police block ads in anti piracy war City of London Police are ruining your daily download of pirated content by putting up big buzzkilling banner ads all over them, saying ‘THIS WEBSITE HAS BEEN REPORTED TO THE POLICE – please close the browser page containing this website.’

If they suspect a website is being run illegally, they’ve posted the ads to stop piracy sites making any money out of advertising.

It’s part of a (terribly named) project called ‘Operation Creative, which aims to block ads from well-known companies appearing on dodgy sites, alongside illegal content and porn.

‘When adverts from well known brands appear on illegal websites, they lend them a look of legitimacy and inadvertently fool consumers into thinking the site is authentic,’ said Detective Chief Inspector Andy Fyfe from the City of London Police Intellectual Property Crime Unit (Pipcu).

Operation Creative is using technology created by an equally terribly named private firm called Project Sunblock – which works on behalf of high street companies to have their ads removed from piracy sites, or porn sites called things like

It’s a strategy that might hit illegal sites hard – many of them rely on advertising to survive. But some critics have warned against over zealous blocking, amid fears that legal sites might die on their arse without advertising revenue.

Still, it’s better to be on the safe side. After all, you don’t want a back to school at BHS advert appearing on a hardcore bumming page, do you?

Watch out for the paedo letter scam

June 10th, 2014 1 Comment By Lucy Sweet

3letters 300x278 Watch out for the paedo letter scam Usually sinister scams and ransom demands happen online these days, but 11 people in the Thames Valley have been subjected to an almost quaint letter campaign which threatens to expose them as paedophiles if they don’t give them bitcoins.

The letter, which claims to target ‘carefully selected’ victims, reads as follows:

‘If you do not follow these instructions to the letter you and your family will be subjected to a campaign that will include writing to your neighbours informing them of your love for young boys.

We will spread this rumour at your local school which will result in you, your family and your home becoming the target for attacks and vandalism.

Whether the rumours are true or not does not matter in the slightest. You know what people will think once we put the ideas in their heads? No smoke without fire is what they will think.

If you tell anyone else about this letter or its contents, for example the police then we will go ahead with the action and your family will go through hell’

Still awake? Also, PUNCTUATION! Tsk.

Anyway, then it asks the recipients to deposit two Bitcoins in a specific account and warns them they have 72 hours to comply.

Most of the targets have already reported the letters to the police, and Thames Valley police are investigating. They said:

‘This is a clear attempt at blackmail and we need to gather all the information we can to aid our investigation and trace the offenders behind these nasty letters.’

Honestly, what self respecting blackmailer uses letters these days? I mean, at least save yourself the price of a stamp and email it instead.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz12345674 300x200 The fastest police car in the west (country)Avon and Somerset police have taken delivery of an Ariel Atom.

At 155mph – and looking a bit Lego-y – it is literally now the fastest police car ‘on the road’.

It weighs 612kg, does 0-60 in 2.5 seconds, has speed-friendly blue lights and the coppers reckon they’ll be using it to chase after speeding motorcyclists and the like. Although a wave of Facebook avatars of policemen sitting in it looking all speedy is the more likely outcome.

The Ariel Atom is thought to be the quickest police car in the world, able to outrun the Lamborghini Gallardo LP560-4 Polizia used by Italian officers, the Audi R8 driven by German police, and the Ferrari FF used in Dubai.

And aside from all the VROOM VROOM big boys toys aspect of it, the car is basically going to be used as a promotional tool to encourage riders to be a bit safer, as there’s been a 30% increase in bike deaths in the area this year so far.

Fancy that!

Children are being little t***s on Twitter

May 29th, 2014 No Comments By Lucy Sweet

girl twitter Children are being little t***s on Twitter If you’ve ever wondered about the illiterate trolls on Twitter with the egg avatars and the poor grasp of spelling, then prepare to be amazed – they could be children.

More than 2000 kids, some only NINE, have been reported to police in the last three years for using Twitter and other social networks to send abusive and bullying messages.

The police have reported a huge rise in juvenile online delinquency, with some police forces overwhelmed by their caseloads.

Although 11,292 adults have been arrested for trolling, abusing and threatening others online in the last few years, 1300 children were also officially investigated for spreading online vileness – with 1203 going on to be formally charged or cautioned.

The CPS is having to introduce new guidelines for police, asking them to only respond to incidents that are potentially criminal. As for children under the age of 16, they said: ‘their communications and a prosecution is rarely likely to be in the public interest.’

But police continue to be besieged by worried parents and victims of online child trolls. What to do? Confiscate their smartphones? Chop off their hands?

In a world that favours labels and ridiculous designer handbags that look like a jailer’s crotch, the counterfeit goods industry is booming. But not any more. A specialist police unit has shut down over 2,500 websites offering knock off GBH hair straighteners, Fugg boots and Hollista clothing, amongst other bare-faced designer fakery.

fake louis v 300x225 2500 counterfeit goods websites shut down in police swoop

The unit, called Pipcu, (which might sound like an animated penguin, but is short for the Police Intellectual Property Crime Unit) was launched last year to crack down on fake goods. These websites have been leaving customers in the lurch, offering bad quality or often not bothering to deliver goods at all.

While most of us may cry, ‘Well what did you EXPECT?’, these websites hoodwink people by coming up under Google shopping searches, and look like the real deal. One customer ordered Ugg boots for her daughter, thinking they were legitimate.

Unfortunately, she then found that not only were the boots fake, but the website owner had used her credit card details to do a spot of shopping himself.

DCI Andy Fyfe of Pipcu (if indeed that is his real name) said that often the sites are a front for organised crime and can also contain viruses.

‘Consumers also need to be aware that by accessing websites like this they are running the risk of their personal details being compromised and being used for other fraudulent scams, as well as exposing their computer to malicious malware.’

So be warned. In future, always buy your ugly designer crap from a reputable online retailer.

Smartphones are a great way to give your children access to online pornography and turn them into violent sex offending criminals or victims of abuse.

noiphone 300x225 Keep your kids away from your dangerous pornphone

That’s according to Tom Winsor, Chief Inspector of Hyperbole Constabulary, who has said that smartphones are the gateway to obscene material which can ‘distort and confuse their perceptions of normal behaviour.’

The leader of the police watchdog also did some top quality parent blaming, saying that parents were often not aware of what their children were looking at and had a responsibility to instill a sense of right and wrong (ie: Two Girls, One Cup – WRONG, youTube videos of kittens – RIGHT).

Modern technology provides new and more effective ways for children to be abused, pursued and drawn into crime.’ He said. ‘Very large proportions of children spend time online, often in conditions where they are not protected and their parents or guardians have little or no appreciation of the risks to which they are exposed.’

While we all have a responsibility to protect our children online, are smartphones really a gateway drug to a life of depraved hell? Or are they just using them to play Farm Heroes and take bad selfies?

Police go after pirate websites

December 10th, 2013 9 Comments By Mof Gimmers

music piracy Police go after pirate websitesWebsites that have illegally hosting copyrighted content on them are being targeted by the police, specifically the City of London Police in an operation headed-up by the Police Intellectual Property Crime Unit (PIPCU).

61 websites have been identified and were asked to “correct their behaviour” and “operate legitimately”. Those not playing ball with the authorities were passed to brands with a request that they stop advertising on the sites.

Trying to throttle their revenue is all well and good, but this rather polite enforcement won’t deter pirates who will no doubt have worked out a way to avoid the long arm and stay in operation. For the time being, forty websites have now been suspended.

This operation is a partnership known as Operation Creative, which sees the police teaming up with advertising bodies and representatives of the music industries. However, you get the impression that trying to stop internet pirates is liking trying to catch rain in a butterfly net.

This pilot went on for three months and the PIPCU said the presence of advertising from brands went down by 12%. The kicker with that is famous brands were soon replaced by a sharp increase in adverts that showed explicit content or exposed users to malware.

“Operation Creative is being run… to really get to grips with a criminal industry that is making substantial profits by providing and actively promoting access to illegally obtained and copyrighted material,” said Supt Bob Wishart. ”However, if they refuse to comply we now have the means to persuade businesses to move their advertising to different platforms and, if offending continues, for registrars to suspend the websites.”

The operation is looking to roll out fully in 2014.

Agents of T.E.S.C.O

November 8th, 2013 1 Comment By Lucy Sweet

If you live in Musselburgh, in East Lothian, and you were in Tesco at around 8pm last week, you’d be forgiven for wondering whether you needed to adjust your brain medication.

Batman and Robin 300x238 Agents of T.E.S.C.O

Customers were treated to the sight of Batman, Robin, David Hasselhoff and a Smurf apprehending a criminal in the store, after the man dressed as Robin had been attacked by a random nutjob on the street. The fancy dress heroes chased the attacker into Tesco where a spectacular scuffle ensued, and they managed to hold him until the police came.

East Lothian Police thanked the fancy dress crime fighters in a series of highly pleasing tweets, like this one:

‘Thank you to Batman, Robin, Robin’s Dad, a Smurf, and the Hoff for helping us on Friday night. #Tesco, sorry about the toilet roll aisle.’

Police Scotland arrested a 21 year old man in connection with the incident, who pleaded guilty to the offence in court on Monday. Another triumph for the caped crusader. And Knight Rider. And er, some random Smurf.

(Mop and bucket to aisle 3.)

Surrey Police try their hand at rapping

September 6th, 2013 8 Comments By Mof Gimmers

Surrey Police, for some reason, have taken it upon themselves to start rapping. Being the po-po, they’re not rapping about making it rain on strippers or anything fun like that, rather, the dangers of driving in wet weather.

policerap 389x500 Surrey Police try their hand at rapping

This humorous message was in relation to the cheerily horrific 130-car pile-up on the Isle of Sheppey Crossing in Kent yesterday, with several motorists taken to hospital.


Increased fines for drivers

August 16th, 2013 5 Comments By Mof Gimmers

car Increased fines for driversYou careless drivers are looking at new, higher penalties if you drive wrecklessly, use your phone at the wheel, hog the middle lane or tailgate.

Motorists hogging the middle lane or tailgating will get three points on their licence and a £100 on-the-spot fine, while driving without a seatbelt and using a mobile at the wheel will end up in a £100 fine, up from the old £60 penalty.

Anyone driving with no insurance will now face a £300 penalty. If you do all of the above at the same time, you’re buggered.

Police have also been given powers to issue on-the-spot fines to drivers found using the wrong lane on a roundabout or not giving way at a T-junction.

The Government are hoping these plans will stop careless or dangerous driving, provided of course, there’s enough police to call upon to patrol and enforce these new rules, which come in as of today.

Road safety minister Stephen Hammond said: “Careless drivers are a menace and their negligence puts innocent people’s lives at risk. That is why we are making it easier for the police to tackle problem drivers by allowing them to immediately issue a fixed penalty notice rather than needing to take every offender to court.”

“We are also increasing penalties for a range of driving offences to a level which reflects their seriousness and which will ensure that they are consistent with other similar penalty offences.”

burger king simpsons 300x223 Burger King: Now doing hash pipe childrens mealsA dirty hash pipe filled with drugs has been found inside a Burger King kids meal, which is nice isn’t it?

Some customer was pretty surprised to discover the drug paraphernalia when he opened the meal he had bought for his 4-year-old grandson at a branch in Dundee, Michigan.

Instead of laughing it off, some berk called the police, where a 23-year-old employee admitted the drugs were his and that he had hidden them in the meal to keep them out of sight while he worked.

Dundee Police Chief David Uhl said: “[The grandfather] had seen them in the parking lot and saw them interacting with the employee, so he thought that was suspicious, so he did a really great thing; He wrote down a description of the car and gave a license plate.”

The employee, and two other suspects have been arrested and charged with drug possession.

Uhl added: “Very serious when our children are involved. Luckily, this family was on top of it and saw it right away when the grandson opened it up.”

Dubai unveil police Ferrari

April 29th, 2013 11 Comments By Mof Gimmers

The British police force have had a series of boring cars done up like pandas as they try and catch villains, but in Dubai, they’ve won everything hands down by unveiling a Ferrari FV as their new squad car.

That’s in addition to the Lamborghini Aventador that officers already use. Oh, and the Chevrolet Camaro SS, a Dodge Charger and a BMW 5-Series that they have too. They’re just showing off aren’t they?


dubai police ferrari 500x424 Dubai unveil police Ferrari

Police chief Lieutenant General Dhahi Khalfan Tamim said: “Dubai is a unique city and everything in it should reflect its uniqueness and for that reason police will add a Ferrari sports car to its patrol fleet. We have been pleasantly surprised by the reaction of people to the Lamborghini, so we said a Ferrari would be a good choice too.”