Posts Tagged ‘paris’
We need to have this in Britain, MAINTENANT. The Paris Metro has issued 12 commandments of good behaviour on public transport, based on suggestions from the beleaguered public.
Called the ‘Politeness manual for the modern traveller’, the mischievous online guide asks the public not to indulge in various anti-social activities on Le Metro, like playing music, gawping at attractive women, and peeing on the floor.
Of course they do it with typical Parisian flair, using amusing old-fashioned illustrations. And it’s as backhanded and sarcastic as it is charming. It asks passengers to help tourists ‘in Bermuda shirts with a Metro map in one hand and the other hand in their hair’. It also manages to have a dig at tourists trying to pronounce the names of the stations. AW HAW HAW HAW.
Still, it really sets the bar for other global cities to introduce a public transport etiquette guide. The London underground could really use one. Perhaps it could include: no groping, no human interaction, no elbowing, no playing the trombone, no eating tuna sandwiches, no wildly careless applications of bronzer, no farting, no phlegm and no selfies.
Oh, and none of THIS, s’il vous plait.
There’s nothing better than sitting in a Parisian café, slowly dealing with a cool Kronenbourg 1664 while listening to that warty OAP rocker Lemmy ponderously meander his way through a laid-back version of Ace Of Spades.
We’re fairly certain that’s a sentence that’s never been uttered before – at least not until this 1664 ad appeared a couple of days ago. It could have ended up like one of those ironic cover versions of a heavy rock classic that only succeeds in making you want to put your fist through something flimsy, but because it’s by the song’s actual composer, the whole thing’s alright really.
Compare and contrast it with one of the most seminal performances of the orginal, that we’ve bunged on your screen a bit further down…
There’s still something that feels slightly slutty and whorish about opening shops in one of the world’s finest museums, even if the store in question belongs to Apple. The Louvre in Paris has cleared out the mimes and onion sellers to make way for Jobs, Inc which opened its doors today. Still, it’s a better fit than Maccy D’s:
If there’s one thing the French are brilliant at, it’s striking. And mime artists, obviously, but mostly striking. The reasons can be many and varied, important or trivial – it really doesn’t matter. What matters is that they can get together on a whim and make a lot of noise about nothing much, so long as it causes the most inconvenience to fellow countrymen and, where possible, the rest of the world.
So when La Poste got their heads together with the transport authorities to help their customers out, it seemed as good a reason as any to strike. The idea is to let residents who miss a parcel delivery (or a letter sent by recorded delivery) have it forwarded to the ticket office of their local metro station – saving them from going out of their way to the local post office to collect it. Once a person has signed up, they’ll receive a text message to confirm the station has received an item, which they can then pick up any day of the week up until 11.30 at night – perfect for stopping by after work or a night on le sauce.
That sounds altogether useful, but those working in the ticket office had other ideas. Only one station is taking part in the trial that begins next month, but a third of the staff working on the entire metro line went on strike in protest. Union spokesman Cédric Ménival said: “We have more important things to do, like looking after passengers’ security and giving them information. What will they ask us to do tomorrow? Sell bread?”