Posts Tagged ‘Odd stuff’
Here’s you, using your stupid digits to press a series of things on a phone or whatever. You could just thud your fist in the general direction, and basically get someone to throw the pizza into your mouth for you. Sort of.
The Limited Edition Easy Order is a literal button, which syncs with your mobile over Bluetooth and places an order for your favourite pizza with your local Domino’s outlet. Once pressed, it glows red and you’ll know that a pizza is coming your lazy way.
If you want one, Domino’s are holding a competition to some ‘superfans’, with the details being released in December. Of course, the grease vendors will offer a virtual version of the button on their app and website, if you want in… but that seems a little pointless.
Here is what the button looks like. You can almost see it gathering dust in a drawer somewhere, after being used twice, can’t you?
All the shops and food-retailers get in the Christmas spirit with some special products. You’re not experiencing the yule period properly unless you’ve burned your insides with a Greggs ‘Festive Bake’.
Well, Tesco are getting in on the action with something that is… well… mystifying. That’s not to say we won’t try it. You can get, in the Meal Deal, a cherry and chocolate sandwich.
Are chocolate and cherry sandwiches a proper Christmas thing that completely passed Bitterwallet by?
Either way, you can get the sarnie, which is billed as a chocolate and cherry marscapone on cinnamon bread affair. Sounds like pudding, rather than a main.
It’ll cost you £1.80, and it’ll sit alongside the usual turkey, pork and apple and whatnot sandwiches, as usual. Go on. Buy one and review it for us.
[image c/o of Nic Soapdish]
There’s no pain quite like the one you feel when you stand on a Lego brick. It doesn’t just hurt your foot – it hurts your very soul. So with that, Lego have teamed up with a company called Brand Station, to create a pair of slippers that will eliminate the excruciating agony of standing on a stray piece of Lego.
And here they are.
Under foot, these slippers have a special protective layer, so that you could basically walk through a forest of Lego bricks, and you won’t feel any pain.
There is some bad news on this front – Brand Station have only made 1,500 pairs of these special slippers, and they’re being given away at random to people who fill out a Christmas wish list on the Lego France website.
They need to roll these out across the world – they might just save us all from foot trauma this Christmas.
Fancy yourself as a hard man do you? Wish there was a way of organising fights without having to spend all that money down the pub? Well, you might be in luck.
Someone has come up with an app called Rumblr, which you use like Tinder, however you swipe for scraps and a bit of pagga.
If you’ve had a hard week at work, and have a load of pent-up frustration you want to get out of your system, you could get the app, and be getting the living crap knocked out of you behind a car park. You could be happily getting kicked in the throat by a complete stranger, smiling to yourself knowing that this fight you’re in, is consensual.
Naturally, there’s a lot of people who are very unhappy about this, because they think fighting it idiotic and are now wondering ‘what has the world come to eh?’
On the app, you and other people who desperately want to touch each other will be able to check out each other’s stats like weight, stature and whether or not you’ve got any combat experience. Or, if you’re into that sort of thing, you can use the app to watch other people go at it, and not join in with the fights.
You can get Rumblr here, from today
If you order a McDonald’s chicken wrap, you probably don’t expect to find a whole, dead frog in it do you? If you do expect that, then you’re a special kind of cynical.
Ten-year-old Cordellia Buckley stopped at a Maccies with her dad, Dave. She bit into her wrap and it tasted disgusting. No. Not for the usual reasons, but because of the frog.
Want to see it?
Isn’t that delightful?
Dave reckons it must have been put there as a Halloween prank by staff, but obviously, Cordellia isn’t too amused by the whole thing. Gives a new meaning to having a frog in your throat, eh?
He said: “Everyone was just disgusted. It was the most horrible thing. She is fine with frogs, but you don’t want one in your mouth. It’s a health and safety risk. She could have caught salmonella. She doesn’t want to eat at McDonald’s ever again. I won’t go to McDonald’s again.”
You want a closer look at it, don’t you?
McDonald’s are suspicious about the whole thing though.
A spokesperson for McDonald’s said: “The customer did not raise this with anyone in our restaurant. Food hygiene and safety is of utmost importance and we take matters like this very seriously. Our wraps are freshly prepared when ordered and it is extremely unlikely this originated from our restaurant and there is no evidence to suggest otherwise at this stage.”
“We have asked the customer to return the item to us, so that we can investigate further.”
We all know that Nando’s is a load of pish, and that anyone who refers to it as ‘cheeky’ should be skinned in the street… but that doesn’t stop people from going their in their droves. One lady, called Katherine Engler, nipped in at the London Brent Park branch, and got herself a chicken wrap with extra cheese.
When it arrived, she felt the need to post a picture of her meal on the internet. Nowt unusual there, as everyone does that these days. Thing is with Katherine’s meal, is that she wasn’t showing it off because it looked amazing.
Her Facebook status read: “Nando’s Brent Park – Not quite what I had in mind when answering yes, after the server asked me if I wanted to add a slice of cheese to my Chicken Wrap….!”
While this is a slightly embarrassing oversight by the kitchen at this particular Nando’s, it isn’t nearly as troubling as someone who orders chips and has zero wet with them.
If that plate of food was a concert, you’d boo.
It probably says something about Bitterwallet that we think this all seems very dirty, and that we’ve got mucky minds… but at a Co-op, a shoplifter got his face sat on by a member of staff.
Those who went to the store in Stroud over the weekend, may well have been greeted with the sight of a man sitting on a teenagers’ face. Enough to put you off your microwave meal.
Thankfully, someone was on-hand to get a photo.
The 15-year-old was trying to nick some booze, but sadly for him and his pals who were probably waiting around the corner, he got caught. Then someone sat on his face.
Witnesses Manford Ruaz said: “I walked in and saw what had happened. It was really weird. I walked through the doors and there was this big bloke sat on this kid.”
“It was a big bloke sat on this kid with his butt on his face. I have definitely never seen anything like it before. It was a shock.”
A police spokesperson said: “Police were called at 8.20pm on Saturday October 17 to incident in a supermarket in Slad Road, Stroud.”
“A 15-year-old youth had twice entered the supermarket that evening picking up some wine and beer. He then left the store without making any attempt to pay for the items on both occasions. On the third occasion the youth entered store, he again attempted to walk out with some alcohol but was apprehended by a store employee.”
Obviously, the kid has been banned from the shop and ordered to pay for the goods. The thing that will really haunt him is the smell of some bloke’s crack right on his chin. The long arse of the law, in action right there. Lovely job.
See, there’s actually a roadworthy version for adults, complete with famous yellow roof, chunky wheels and… well, you know what it looks like, as you can actually see the photograph on the right.
So what’s the story? Well, mechanic John Bitmead and his brother Geoff from Attitude Autos decided to make the car back in 2013. However, they’ve decided to sell it, and you can bid for it on eBay. And no, it isn’t cheap.
If you don’t care about the rest of this article and want to put a bid in on the car, click here.
John says on the eBay listing: “We have covered over 5,000 miles in the past two years driving around shows and charity events in the UK and, apart from it not being the fastest car on the planet has been the most incredible fun with people queuing up to take photos along dual carriageways and highways on every trip.”
Here’s the car in action.
Banter is one of the worst words in the English lexicon, so prepare yourself for the appearance of it in this article, about a man who got a tattoo about the 5p plastic bag tax.
Aden Brown decided to get famous on the internet (it worked, but clearly won’t last) by getting his auntie to do a tattoo on his hip about the new plastic bag laws. The tattoo is of a stick man pushing a loaded trolley, along with the words: “5p bags! F*ck that. £1 trolley.”
Have a look!
And now, here comes that awful ‘banter’ word.
He posted the photo saying: “Just to top this banter off the money I saved from not using the bags I got this. Thanks Tesco every little helps.”
You see, Aden stole a trolley from a Tesco, which he says he’s now returned. He added: “It was a joke between me and five of my mates. I said to the lady who served me, ‘I ain’t paying for bloody bags.’ I said, ‘I’m pinching a trolley’, knowing nothing would be done. I thought it would be really funny.”
“With the tattoo, I wanted to push the banter to the next level. I went to see my auntie, who owns a tattoo parlour, and she said: ‘Why don’t you get it tattooed? Why don’t you push it a little bit more?”
“I’ve got religious tattoos and other important stuff, and I’ve even got a willy tattooed on my bum in memory of a friend who had his member shut in a door. I love my life. I’m always doing random things. People are too serious, but it’s all just a bit of banter. It is all I live for.”
No-one actually speaks like that, so we smell a troll. Still, he got on our pages and countless other clickbait articles, so fair game.
Before you start getting angry about something Christmas-related, and saying “URGH! IT GETS EARLIER EVERY YEAR AND I’M SICK OF IT!”, read the whole article first.
A leukaemia patient in Lincoln has made a little truck that looks like the Coca-Cola Christmas truck, which they’ll drive around in a bid to raise money for research into the disease.
Barrie Hall, who has suffered from the illness for some years now, assembled the truck with the help of local businesses, and was built around a mobility scooter. It is rather impressive looking – if Bitterwallet had to make one, it would be more likely to be a cardboard box sellotaped to a rollerskate.
Talking to the Lincolnshire Echo, he said: “When I thought of the idea I never expected to get it off the ground but after I approached Coca-Cola and was given the go-ahead I started asking businesses for their help.”
“It has taken more the last eight months to get it finished and I have had the help of a lot of local companies who have been fantastic to me. I cannot thank them enough for their generosity.”
“I want to raise awareness of Leukaemia and raise money for more research into the disease.”
Barrie will start his rounds in Lincoln on November 4th, after the success of last year when he dressed as Santa in tribute to his wife, who died five years ago from mouth cancer.
Even though the vast majority of the UK has been able to cope with the 5p plastic bag charge for a while now, England it seems, has been having some issues with it.
Mystifyingly, it became front-page news and ‘chaos’ was promised, as well as people vowing to do all manner of thunderously pointless protests.
With that, we go to social media, where people have been bragging about stealing shopping trolleys, rather than pay five whole pence for a plastic bag. Some people are STICKING IT TO THE MAN by going through the rigmarole of swiping trolleys, rather than taking a rucksack they already own, or perhaps using one of the hundreds of plastic bags they’ve got in another plastic bag under the sink.
See for yourself.
Someone else decided to do the same. They paid £1 for a trolley, stole it, wheeled it all the way home, got in, quickly tidied the kitchen up, took numerous photos, chose the best one, did a slight edit on the photo with their phone’s in-built editing software, then actually uploaded it to the internet, to show how indignant they are about the 5p plastic bag tax.
Of course, one Tesco has felt the need to put security tags on their Bags For Life, because people can’t get their heads or rage around the new charges.
Honestly. Will England ever cope again, and recover from this awful, awful injustice? And will Wales and Scotland ever stop laughing about it all?
In Manchester’s leafy Chorlton, where everyone bathes in almond milk and has bees in their always sunny gardens, you’ll find a great big Morrisons. This is the kind of Morrisons where all the customers look like members of ’70s acid-folk bands like Pentangle, and the checkouts beep in DADGAD.
So it didn’t surprise many that they’d be selling a pizza with a vagina on it, because y’know, hippies.
This looks like something straight out of the feminist book shop on Portlandia. Provided the cheese that’s on top is vegan and has been anywhere near oppression.
Of course, this was an accident and it wasn’t meant to be a meaty vagina. You might be thinking that it is an all-seeing eye or something, but alas, the bits of sausage were arranged to celebrate the Rugby World Cup. That’s right, it is an innocent rugby ball.
Now, you can insert your own jokes about ‘food porn’ and England’s rugby team being a load of gash, here.
We’ve been doing our bit and pointing you in the direction of some jobs for Christmas, and remarkably, a number of readers and drive-by commenters have been under the illusion that Bitterwallet’s comment section is the place to leave a message for a big corporation, so they’ll get back to you.
So with that, it could be very interesting if people don’t read this article properly and end up offering their services for this that we spotted online.
Now, it might look like the city of Dundee is offering fellatio on a major scale, but sadly, that’s not the case.
The Courier newspaper dropped a clanger as the newspaper headline should have actually said ‘major jobs blow’, but some cheeky so-and-so cut the sheet up and rearranged the words. Good work, to whoever did that, obviously.
“If you actually look closely you can see the lines… Some cheeky scamp has come along and taken his chances,” said the Courier’s news editor Alan Richardson. “But there we are, it’s one of those things. Not a big deal.”
We look forward to people leaving their numbers for that.
Sometimes, you just have to take your punishment on the chin. If you’re drunk or far too rude to service staff, and they tell you to leave, the best thing to do is get out of dodge and take it from there. Of course, some people really, really like causing a massive scene.
They may tell you that they’re trying to get what should be rightfully theirs, but really, no-one ever got all up in a manager’s face, called them a number of names and shoved them around, only for the staff to say “you know what? We’ve changed our minds and you can get served.”
And so, to America where no-one can handle their ale, and a drunk teenager who wanted some kind of Big Mac at a McDonald’s. In fact, it was a bacon jalapeño Mac and cheese, which sounds absolutely brilliant.
Anyway, drunk and underage, he decides to give the manager and staff a load of aggro, for aaaaaages. Seriously. The restraint on this manager is something else. The temptation to smack this little bozo must have crossed his mind countless times. We suspect a number of BW readers would’ve lobbed this kid out of the nearest window.
Either way, watch this video and have a think how you’d get on and to see how the drunk teenager acts like a massive wuss when the authorities arrive.
Oh. One more thing. ALWAYS FILM IN LANDSCAPE.
Nanas are the best. They provide biscuits and cantankerous wisdom which you try and ignore, and ultimately end up agreeing with. Well, one eBay vendor has decided to use their gran as a model.
This lady is 94-years-old, and she’s like the models from Wheel of Fortune.
For some reason, this eBay seller seems to have a load of old weapons and things made of wood. And nana is of course, on hand to wield them in photographs on the internet.
This lady is actually the auntie of the seller in question, but she looks more like a granny to us, and we’re sticking with that. She’s related to the Bulgarian eBay seller called ‘retrooobg’, and to finish off, here’s our favourite photograph of her.
If you’d like to see more of her, then click here to visit the eBay page she graces.