Posts Tagged ‘Odd stuff’

Fancy staying in Hitler’s holiday home?

June 26th, 2015 No Comments By Mof Gimmers

18211 0346 1 md Fancy staying in Hitlers holiday home?A company has transformed Hitler’s holiday camp (sorry, that will never stop sounding like a fantastically camp b-movie, possibly starring Beryl Reid) so members of the public can enjoy the seaside on the German island of Rugen.

So what’s the craic? Well, Prora was meant to be a holiday camp for Nazis (think Butlins, only with marginally more levels of despairing hate) and was completed in 1936, however, it wasn’t ever opened to members of the public.

However, in the last decade, it has been transformed from an abandoned mess into modern hotels and apartments.

Axel Bering and Michael Jacobi, the project investors, say they’re resolutely not-arsed about the history of the building that once belong to Hitler. Bering, from Denmark, said that the resort reminded him more of his childhood holidays. Some of the holiday apartments have already been sold and there’s families visiting the resort already.

Prices start from £125,000 for three-bedroom apartments, and the priciest ones will set you back £900,000.

Not only that, there’s also going to be a shopping centre, swimming pool and tennis courts and all manner of things being added in the not-too-distant future.

One of the people who has bought a flat there – Roland Glockner, an advertising exec – said that it was “love at first site”, adding: “It was right by the sea, the nature was fantastic, it was nice and quiet and not so expensive. Perfect for the family or as somewhere to grow old.”

If you want to read up on the history of the gigantic space, then click yourself silly, here.

People who are able bodied shouldn’t park in bays set aside for disabled people. You might think you should be able to, but you shouldn’t. Why? You’ve had enough, you bloated swine.

In Brazil, someone found themselves on the end of a grand prank, after they’d parked in such a spot.

The person in question came back to his car to find it covered in stickers, to make the whole vehicle look like a blue disabilities logo. The front, top, sides and even wheels were covered.

As you can see from the video, not only did the driver suffer the defacement of his car, but also, a watching and sarcastically cheering crowd too. He sped off and everyone laughed at him.

Not only that, the driver in question got himself a ticket too.

Now, we hand you over to all those people who have missed the fun of a prank like this, for them to complain about vandalism and littering or something.

Heinz send customers to filthy websites

June 18th, 2015 No Comments By Mof Gimmers

porn Heinz send customers to filthy websitesEven though no-one uses QR codes, because they’re fiddly and out-dated, one man decided to try out the one that featured on a bottle of Heinz ketchup… and he got something that was a very different type of ‘saucy’. Instead of arriving on a page where he could design his own Heinz label, instead, he found himself being directed to a hardcore pornography site. Insert your own joke about ‘squirting’ here.

Daniel Korell scanned the label to find out more about the promotion, and was directed to a German porn site, with the utterly wonderful name of ‘Fundorado’.

So what happened? Well, Heinz ran the contest between 2012 and 2014, and the link expired this year, which was then taken up by a mucky website.

Korell wrote on his Facebook page: “Your ketchup really isn’t for under-age people. Even if the bottle was a leftover, it’s still in lots of households.”

“It’s incomprehensible that you didn’t reserve the domain for one or two years. It really doesn’t cost the Earth,” he added.

Heinz’s social media team were quick to apologise and replied to Korell, saying: “We really regret the event very much and we’re happy to take your suggestions for how we implement future campaigns on board.”

That’s all well and good, but Heinz were again scuppered by Fundorado, who enjoyed a load of free advertising and decided to leave a comment on the Facebook post, and offered Korell a free year’s subscription to a load of smutty films. Condimental.

Behold the Samsung giant screen safety truck!

June 17th, 2015 2 Comments By Mof Gimmers

Lorries can be a bit of a menace, thanks to the sheer bloody size of them. So, with that, Samsung have been tinkering with their large fleet of trucks, and they’re using very fancy technology to try and make them safer.

When you’re trying to pass a truck, if can be very difficult to tell if another vehicle is coming until you start your manoeuvre. That is, until you come into the back of a special Samsung lorry with magic screens on it.

We’ll let this video explain.

Samsung call this fleet ‘The Safety Truck’ and they have wireless cameras on the front bumper that stream images from the front of the truck to screens mounted on the back doors.

The cameras even have a night vision mode, so you can see it all in the dark, which is pretty nifty and a decent move on Samsung’s part. We’d like to see more trucks operating a system like this.

And, if you stick your mobile in front of it, and stick YouTube on, you get a free outdoor cinema when all the truckers are doing an overnighter in some job centre car park!

Tesco troll Liverpool FC manager

June 16th, 2015 1 Comment By Mof Gimmers

Corporate social media is, for the most part, the most nauseating thing in the entire world. It tends to veer toward irritating pal-speak where a supermarket pretends to be your pal, or worse still, overly cutesy and self-deprecating meme-chatter, where a retailer goes on like they’re a talking cat or whatever.

However, whoever was running the Tesco account when they were contacted by a parody account of Liverpool FC’s Brendan Rodgers, got it absolutely spot-on.

supermark Tesco troll Liverpool FC manager

For non-football fans, Liverpool have bought a number of players from Southampton FC, which Mike from Tesco thought he’d throw back at ‘Deluded Brendan’.

We hope Mike got a bottle of wine or some bonus for his efforts.

[via FootballRamble]

The bra you shouldn’t buy for your cat

June 10th, 2015 No Comments By Mof Gimmers

Have been looking at buying a padded bralette made from rough yarn? Of course you have. Everyone wants one. Possibly. Well, over at Amazon, they’re selling one which comes in a variety of colours and sizes and… well… so far, so humdrum.

However, when you get to the reviews, something amazing happens.

Some customers have complained about the holes in the design being too big, while others complain of unexpected side boob and under boob. We’re not interested in those people. We’re interested in the person who decided to dress their cat in it.

cat bra 500x278 The bra you shouldnt buy for your cat

As you can see from the review, the person didn’t want to show off their 16 year old daughter in it, because that would be creepy, given that the bra is “ridiculously small” and that they “couldn’t legally post a picture of what it looks like if she attempts to wear it.”

They did decide to show off their moggy in it, but, it isn’t all good news, despite the cat’s triumphant pose: “To be fair, it does cover all of the cat’s nipples, however, she hates the weave” concluding; “In summary, do not buy this, even for your cat.”

Have a look at the amazing cat bra review on the Amazon product page.

reg varney cash machine 300x300 Look at the price of these towels, Amazon! Over £500 BILLION?!

Reg, getting his money out for fancy towels

Sometimes, your towels just aren’t fancy enough, right? Does your glorious rump deserve something luxurious when patting the water off?

Well, luckily for you, over at Amazon, you can get a set of towels that must be made of something unfathomably brilliant, because they’ve been selling them for $800bn. In sterling, that’s around £521bn.

So what’s so good about them? Well, Calcot Ltd’s towels are woven into “super soft Supima cotton loops using zero-twist technology” and come in one colour – amethyst. They’re safe to put in the tumble drier too.

These towels are, apparently, “less prone to pilling”, which is obviously a huge concern for all towel users around the world.

The “functional and decorative fold-over edge is added to finish off an already perfect towel”, which is just what the world needs now during the economic uncertainty and seemingly near-constant warfare. Of course, you could end all wars or end the economic crisis if you have over £500bn in disposable income, but you’re probably after these towels instead.

As you can see, this is one of the longest numbers ever featured on BW.

75140dfb a386 4a4c a284 26e053ee9f22 bestSizeAvailable 500x112 Look at the price of these towels, Amazon! Over £500 BILLION?!

 

Of course, this is a fat-fingered mistake from someone, which means that, by the time you hit the link, the price has already been rectified by Amazon, which is nice.

They’re still on-sale, and you can see them here and, that said, at the new price… $80 for some stinkin’ towels! WHAT AN OUTRAGE!

ryanair 300x225 Student changes name by deed poll   cheaper than Ryanairs £220 feeA student (yes, they’re annoying – get over it) has changed his name by deed poll because it is cheaper than paying Ryanair to sort an error out. A saving of £117 no less!

What’s the craic? Well, Adam Armstrong was booked under the wrong name and Ryanair wanted £220 to alter the name on the ticket, which is double the price of the flight. So, instead of messing around with the airline, he changed his name by deed poll and rushed through a new passport under the name that he was mistakenly booked under – Adam West.

Yes. He’s now got the same name as Batman.

The name-change and updated passport cost him £103 and he said, talking about how the error happened: ”Her stepdad got my name from Facebook but I had put it as Adam West as a joke, because he was the actor who played Batman on TV.”

So why are Ryanair so prohibitively expensive on something like this? They say it isn’t just squeezing coins out of humans, but rather, a bid to stop people from reselling tickets for profit.

A spokesman for Ryanair said: “Customers are asked to ensure that the details they enter at the time of booking are correct before completing their booking and we offer a 24-hour ‘grace period’ to correct minor booking errors.”

“A name change fee is charged in order to discourage and prevent unauthorised online travel agents from ‘screenscraping’ Ryanair’s cheapest fares and reselling them on to unwitting consumers at hugely inflated costs.”

Behold! The smartnappy!

June 3rd, 2015 No Comments By Mof Gimmers

baby Behold! The smartnappy!Wearable technology – whether you like it or not – is the hottest thing in geekworld. We’ve got smartwatches, glasses 2.0, virtual reality and now… drumroll please… SMARTNAPPIES!

Developers will be writing code brown for the future of the diaper, with Intel bringing us the idea of an internet-connected nappy.

Their idea is that future nappies will have a sensor in them, so if your baby empties his or her innards, you’ll get a warning on your smartphone or smartwatch. Of course, if you have at least one functioning nostril, you’ll also receive a notification to your gag reflex.

Intel’s magic nappy has, according to one report, a dual core Atom at 500Mhz, with 1GB of RAM and 4GB of flash to store. And all to capture and process your tot’s liquid bowel movements! Ain’t it a miracle of nature and science?

We suspect that some demented parents out there would like to tie the tech to their social media feeds, so everyone can be notified of baby’s first defecation. We also look forward to the Daily Mail shrieking maniacally about foreigners trying to hack your infant’s posterior. Don’t pretend either of these things won’t happen.

But will this smartnappy wipe your child’s bum and dispose of their soiled undercrackers? Absolutely not. Welcome to the future.

Parking ticket for wheel barrow

June 1st, 2015 5 Comments By Mof Gimmers

Some traffic wardens are just trying to do a job. They know they’re unpopular and that everyone wants to throw them legs first into a wood-chipper, but they quietly get on with their job and try their best to be fair, in what is tantamount to a job that requires them to be largely unfair.

However, some traffic wardens need a boot up the hole. You may remember one traffic warden giving a ticket to a bin – well, another one has been at it, this time, giving a parking ticket to a wheel barrow.

CGZBkG0XIAAmD18 500x412 Parking ticket for wheel barrow

If the driver of the unattended wheel barrow would like to get in touch with Bitterwallet, we’d like to offer you words of consolation and hopefully, your wheel barrow didn’t get clamped.

[BBC Leeds]

regression 300x168 Ball pool nightclub opens for infantile adultsAdults are waddling their way back to their childhoods, by dribbling over pussy cats and going to cafes to eat cereal. They’re all over the internet cooing at Adventure Time and wearing onesies, which are basically romper suits for taxpayers. You could even go to one and get a cuddle.

Our April Fool joke even talked about regressing back to being an actual baby, but of course, we feared that it might all come true.

Well, in more adult-toddler action, there’s a new nightclub that has a soft play area, Lego to play with, a bouncy castle and a ball pit. We assume that the gigantic boobs to suckle on is in the post.

The night was held by Regression Sessions in Birmingham and was billed as a night of “serious music for silly people” and, obvious, it sold out in no time. God help us if there’s a war, etc.

The organisers say: “Regression Sessions is a night that does what it bloody well pleases and suggests you do the same. We are tired with always having to choose between quality music events rammed with chin-stroking heads, or venues offering unpretentious fun with a disappointing soundtrack.”

“Our aim is return to you to an earlier stage in the psyche when everything was simple and fun was easy. We promise to offer regressive experiences from ball pits and plasticine therapy, to surrealist giant knitting and student art exhibitions.”

Surrealist knitting and plasticine therapy, there. We’re doomed.

McDonald’s defy quantum physics with sign

May 29th, 2015 12 Comments By Mof Gimmers

Following on from WH Smith’s utterly bizarre take on where you can drink booze, McDonald’s are getting all quantum theory on our asses with a sign that melts the mind.

It seems that this particular Maccies has a worm hole in it.

CGH5BBeWUAEAx1k McDonalds defy quantum physics with sign

As you can see, the sign doesn’t say that you can use either lane to place your order, but rather, you should use ‘both’. Why McDonald’s would want you to be in two places at the same time is beyond us.

Maybe this particular branch is for Sam Beckett and Al, only?

[twitter/hockeynick13]

ek20080520wha Japan throws balls at shoplifters... and we want in!In the UK, there’s only really one way of dealing with shoplifters, and that is having some boring bleeping machines and a man with a clip-on tie to take chase, but ultimately, not catch the tea leaf.

Well, that should change. Sure, you can still have detectors and people who wear slacks and walkie-talkies… but things need to be livened up by some Japanese balls.

That’s right! Our pals in Japan have a great solution of shoplifters in the shape of luminous baseballs that are thrown at people on the rob. Over there, they’re known as bohan yu kara boru and what you do is, when someone is stealing, you chase after them and throw one of these balls at them.

When they hit, the thief is covered in orange dye and everyone knows that they’ve been pinching stuff. This is a system that only works if you think people can feel the pressure of public shame. Obviously, it means these scallies can be found very easily if they make a getaway.

Mainly, the good thing about this, is that security guards and shopkeepers can have some fun and make a fine spectacle for everyone watching a chase through a mall – watching a criminal get pelted with balls filled with luminous dye? What’s not to like?

If you want to see what they look like, hit the video below. C’mon British shops! Get some in!

Send someone a fart in a jar

May 15th, 2015 No Comments By Mof Gimmers

Ever wanted to send someone a fart in a jar? Ever thought; “Alan from accounts would really like a jar with a trump in it – I’d like to see his face and his flaring nostrils when he opens it. I really hate Alan from accounts.”

Well, you’re in luck! You no longer have to hover over an old jam jar you’d washed out, with your hole parping away into the receptacle. You can now get someone to do it for you for money.

Send a Jart is a proper thing and it’ll cost you $10, which seems like both a rip-off and a bargain at the same time.

 

fart jar 500x343 Send someone a fart in a jar

So what do you need to do? Well, on the Send A Jart website, you ‘choose a booty blast’ (options include ‘crispy’ and ‘Republican’) then write a personalised message, then seal up the stink jar and then you ‘fist bump an eagle’ because, in the words of the company: “What’s that sound? Oh, that’s just the sound of sweet-ass victory being poured in a glass. Drink it up, my friend.”

Of course, you could just do all this yourself, but careful you don’t end up like the grotesque and totally NSFW 1 Man 1 Jar video, okay?

KitKats renamed YouTube Breaks

May 13th, 2015 1 Comment By Mof Gimmers

Nestlé are rebranding KitKats, presumably just to annoy everyone, under the name ‘YouTube Break’. Are we all to assume that every time you try and eat one, you have to sit through some dreary advert first, which you can’t skip for 5 seconds?

Anyway, mercifully this will only be a limited run of 600,000 bars in the UK. Why anyone would want to buy a chocolate bar that says YouTube on it is another matter. Would you want some crisps that say AVG AntiVirus on them?

kit kat youtube KitKats renamed YouTube Breaks

Nestlé will be doing a load of tie-ins with Google, with this being the first of a series of 100 million differently-branded biscuits.

With this particular campaign, you’ll find that YouTube will be launching new playlists designed for KitKat eaters, so they can ‘enjoy their break’ more. That basically means eating a snack with a slightly different name and watching some playlists that are under the KitKat brand. It is magnificently pointless, seeing as you could just buy an ordinary KitKat and piss about online and have exactly the same experience.

Nestlé will also be stamping KitKats with irritating hashtags like #metimebreak and #sportybreak. We hope some pays for this marketing campaign with their life.