Like some failing uncle with a Facebook account, LloydsTSB is getting down with the modern kids by implementing a groovy new way of banking… the ‘balance on demand’ text update. Cool! They’ll be doing the Moonwalk next, eh readers?

The new scheme enables the customer to find out how much moolah they’ve got in their account at any time of the day or night via their mobile. But (and we’d love it if for once there wasn’t a ‘but’) in order to use the service, most customers will have to sign up for Lloyds’ mobile banking service. That costs £2.50 per month, although they do offer some accounts that include it at as part of the package. Ones that cost more than £2.50 a month we’d expect.

A mobile phone, yesterday

Also, smiling assassins Lloyds have said that mobile phone operators may charge for the cost of the text requesting the balance. Wonder if they do a special text that shows you how much has spilled out of your account as a result of trying to find out your balance.

LloydsTSB are billing balance on demand as a fab new service, but if they and other banks were genuinely keen on delivering a ‘service’ they’d text you every time your balance veered dangerously towards zero or its overdraft limit, giving you a chance to rectify matters before you got hit with an excessive or unlawful penalty charge. Instead of dreaming up crappy new ways to felch a few more quid out of us all.

Banks. Howling shits, the lot of them.

[Which]