Posts Tagged ‘holland’
Adults are consistently getting this ‘life’ thing considerably wrong, and the only solution we can think of is to put massive slides wherever there’s a large staircase. This Dutch subway station has got the right idea.
We might be wrong, but we reckon if Rupert Murdoch built a few hundred of these around the country and emblazoned The Sun’s logo all over them, we’d pretty much forgive him everything in a trice. Yes?
FIFA kicked off big style yesterday over what they described as an ‘ambush marketing activity’ by a Dutch brewery, leading to the ejection of a horde of beautiful women from the Holland v Denmark match on Monday.
The women were all wearing identical short orange dresses that have been sold by Bavaria, a Dutch brewery, as souvenirs, but FIFA claimed that their presence at the match was unauthorised and orchestrated and the women were all turfed out. Some of them later claimed that they were threatened with arrest and imprisonment, claims which FIFA have denied.
Stranger still, it is believed that some of the tickets used by the women to gain entry into the match had been supplied by ITV pundit Robbie Earle, who has subsequently been sacked for ticket-based shenanigans.
Peer Swinkels, from Bavaria beer, said people “should have the right to wear what they want. The Dutch people are a little crazy about orange and we wear it on public holidays and events like the World Cup,” he said. “This time we put no branding on the dress. And Fifa don’t have a monopoly over orange.”
We feel obliged to point out that the official beer of the 2010 World Cup is Budweiser. And that we believe it tastes like piss.
LATEST: FIFA have said that two arrests have been made and that criminal charges will be brought relating to the incident. We have put our box of Frosties back in the cupboard.
As New Year’s Eve approaches like a pissed horse on rollerskates, our attention turns to the nowadays-obligatory midnight fireworks and more importantly, the massive amounts of human damage they can cause.
This ad is taken from the Dutch ‘Don’t Fanny About With Fireworks’ campaign (as we’ve just decided it’s called). In it, a young man foolishly gets too close to a rocket which, as it is perfectly entitled to do, rips a significant part of his face off.
Cut to the hospital – the medics have done their best and the doctor is ready to unveil their repair work. Alongside him is Booby The Nurse, a huge fan of the patient’s original look and keen to see if he has been restored to his former glory.
Whatever will happen next…?
Another entry from our fourth most popular semi-regular feature “funny shit people spot on Google Maps Street View”. Today, we’re off to a working class housing estate in Holland:
So there’s a fire engine ahead of the Google camera car, an- wait a second, there’s an old on a bike riding straight into the fire truck! Surely she’s going to spot it?
Oh fuck, the fire truck hit her! Or the Google car did! Or maybe she fell off of her own accord! We simply can’t tell. Never mind, at least you can find your way around Amersfoort with ease and it only cost the mobility of one pensioner. Cheers, Google!