Kellogg’s will be cutting down on the salt in your cereal so you don’t have to, rendering Corn Flakes, Rice Krispies and other brands  almost pointless and flavourless thanks to a third of the salt being taken out. Slugs are said to be ‘overjoyed’ by the news.

Of course, this comes after pressure from health watchdogs who spend their time weeping over the stats on food packets that no-one understands.

The Government’s Food Standards Agency and campaigning health groups have been asking Kellogg’s to change their recipes. The FSA says Britain is eating too much salt. Britons can, it’s worth pointing out, buy salt separately and drown everything they eat in it, if they want.

Apparently, the daily average for salt consumption is 8.6g, which is 43% above the recommended limit of 6g. This figure is linked to loads of premature deaths from conditions linked to high blood pressure, including strokes and heart attacks.

This change in recipe means that 300 tons of salt a year will be removed from the nation’s diet.

Professor Graham MacGregor, chairman of Consensus Action on Salt and Health, said: ‘We are thrilled that Kellogg’s have finally acknowledged that people don’t want salty breakfast cereals.

‘However, even with the new reductions, Kellogg’s breakfast cereals will still have more salt than many others available in the supermarkets, so they still have some work to do.’

Bloody hell. Assuming that Kellogg’s is the biggest selling cereal on the market, surely that’s an indication that people like a shitload of salt in their breakfast? People who don’t want it can buy other brands, right?

Next week: Watchdog demands arse-wiping action from colons.

[Daily Mail]

Despite people older than you appearing to have grown up strong and healthy, every mouthful of food that passed their lips as a kid was essentially poison. Yes, they may have ate a slice of white bread every day and suffered no ill effects, but they didn’t know the flour and starch would cause lungworm and certain death. Same goes for eggs, fish, red meat, white meat, vegetables and apples. And water. And breakfast cereals, too.

Health campaigners are going to war on the big brands with the help of Channel 4’s Dispatches programme tonight, after researchers measured the amount of sugar and salt in breakfast cereals and made direct comparisons to the most unhealthy alternatives they could think of, ignoring all other nutritional information at hand. For example, in the corner of the British Heart Foundation:

“Researchers discovered a Tesco jam doughnut contained 8.6g of sugar while 30g of Kellogg’s Frosties were laden with 11.1g of sugar. The investigation also showed that 30g bowl of Kellogg’s cornflakes has more salt than a bag of Walkers Ready Salted crisps.”

In retaliation, a Kellogg’s spokes person pointed out:

“The reality is a single serving of Frosties or Coco Pops has the same amount of sugar in it as glass of orange juice or a banana. It’s important to remember that a doughnut contains around 14 times the level of fat as a single bowl of Frosties.”

And a Nestlé spokesperson added:

“On average cereals contribute less than 10 per cent of the average adult daily intake of sugars and less than 6 per cent of the average daily sugar intake in children.”

In other words, as long as you and your kids aren’t eating a box of cereal a day and nothing else, you probably don’t have as much to worry about as the headlines will no doubt suggest.

[The Telegraph]

Some useless organic food yesterday

Food snobs and chancing farmers have been rocked on their heels after a new study concluded that eating organic food is no better for you than the normal stuff.

The organic food industry is said to be worth £2.1 billion every year, but the findings of Dr Alan Dangour, a public health nutritionist, for the Food Standards Agency, could have proponents of the mud-covered grub looking at the floor, whistling and then shuffling away quietly.

Dr Dangour (who must be fearing for his life right now) says that the only thing organic food has more of is acidity and phosphorus, neither of which benefit we humans in any significant nutritional fashion.

His report doesn’t actually say “If you buy organic food you’re wasting your money” but hints at it as strongly as is possible. Gawd strewth, they’ll be telling us that massive carbon emissions are okay next…

“All you have to do is to step on that little white thing.”

Getting out of the house to find a gym is difficult enough, so when Nintendo brought out The Wii Fit, we all felt like there’s finally hope in life. Watch this excellent video from SarcasticGamer to learn of all the brilliant benefits that The Wii Fit has to offer:

And if you know where to pick up a Wii Fit for an absolutely bargain, tell us. For those that don’t even have a Wii, consider getting a pre-owned Wii with Wii Sports and ANY pre-owned game from Blockbuster for just £129.99.

I’m off to cancel my David Lloyds membership, as my strategies to bulk up like The Hulk has been very disappointing. Instead, playing ‘get the ball in the hole’ sounds like it’ll tone my buttocks better than moving vigorously to those Cindy Crawford’s home fitness videos that I stole from my ex.

[SarcasticGamer via YouTube]