I haven’t swung by HMV for a while, but I recall seeing this type of thing happen in the past. Avid Bitterwallet reader Kirsty and her chum bought a pair a headphones in a sale at the Bullring store in Birmingham, only to discover shortly afterward that she hadn’t saved a bean:

General electronic doofery or the curse of having a new sale every other day? You decide. Or, alternatively, don’t. Send more, none or less of the same to bitterwallet@gmail.com.

As Swine Flu sweeps the world, and sales of wet wipes and disposable door handles go through the roof, we feel it’s our duty to help you fight the latest plague… while saving yourself a few quid at the same time.

Here’s some offers we’ve found over at HotUKDeals that can help you get through this. Don’t worry – the site has been sterilised from head to toe and we’re writing this while wearing a series of gas masks.

We’re kicking off today with a pair of noise-cancelling headphones that you can wear in order to help you block out all talk of the Swine Flu pandemic – while you be-bop and scat your way through the crisis by listening to cool jazz and that.

They’re the superior Goldring NS1000 and they’ll block out whistling, rattling, hammering, snoring and over 150,000 different types of everyday bullshit. They normally retail for over £100 but we can point you at a pair for the knock-down price of just £54.40.

Next comes the Graco Junior Maxi car booster seat, on offer for only £25.00 at the moment… and we’re pretty certain that every seat comes free from Swine Flue, Sars, Bird Flu and Beri Beri… for now.

If we had one, we’d be hauling our asses up a tree with one, sitting in it and staying there until this whole swine-flavoured nonsense is over. But how would we survive we hear you ask – simple, we’d just go on and on about it on Twitter assume people would bring us food and that.

Finally, you can keep germ-free by devoting yourself to a life behind closed doors. Get your groceries delivered by your supermarket of choice (disinfecting each item once you receive it) and stay in watching this exceptional television set.

It’s the Pioneer 60″ PDP-LX6090 and they say it’s the world’s best TV. It had better be for two reasons. One, we’re spending the next three-to-five years cooped up in BWHQ using it as one of our few links with the outside world. Two, it costs £3195 – although that’s about £800 cheaper than other sources. See you later! About five years later

(deals found by duckmagicuk2, mekon and RoBad)

Feel like watch a late night movie with the sound on full blast while the significant other is sleeping? Here are 3 great value for money headphones for under £18 so that you can indulge without getting into a pillow fight:

1. Sennheiser HD 201 Closed Back Headphones | £ 11.99 | Play.com | Amazon.co.uk (Deal found by QenTox) Sennheiser has always been a respected brand, and they have always produced top-notch headphones. I’m personally a big fan of Sennheiser for the sound quality, which in my opinion is only second to Bose. In addition, unlike many popular brands on the market, Sennheiser products have been said to last for many years. The Sennheiser HD 201 headphones are perfect for music lovers, gamers, or anyone who wants a great bargain on a reliable product.

These headphones are available for £11.99 from Play.com, or for £11.39 if you use the Play 5% off coupon code (thanks, Wacko911). You can order the headphones here.

2. Sony MDR-ED12LP Fashionable In-ear Headphones | £4.99 | Play.com | (deal found by Sale) Sony is obviously an authority when it comes to consumer electronics, and they have established their dominant position in the headphone market with great products like the MDR-ED12LP in-ear headphones. Some people are not a fan of in-ear headphones (like me), because they keep falling out of my ear canal when I least want them to, but when it comes down to it they are much more convenient than normal headphones, especially when travelling around in a 3rd world country as a gringo with a pair of Bose Quiet Comfort 3s.

A stylish design coupled with excellent sound quality and a bargain price make these Sony headphones a near necessity, and for the price of £4.99, you can’t beat that. You can order these headphones here.

3. Koss PortaPro Headphones | £17.99 | Amazon.co.uk | (found by louiselouise) Koss is another leader in the headphone industry, and for good reason. Their products are some of the best, both in initial quality and value for money. Their headphones are designed to give you the best comfort and functionality without compromising on design. These do look a bit like something you’d wear to the moon, but they fold up so are good if you need something portable.

The Koss PortaPro headphones are currently priced at only £17.99 through Amazon UK. You can view and purchase the PortaPro headphones here.

If there are other good headphone deals you come across, or have one of the above, please share your comments below! I’d especially be curious if any compare up to the Bose Triports in terms of sound quality.

Now then boys and girls, I want you all to join hands and make a circle. That’s it, nice and big, don’t forget to let those nice, shy boys and girls from HotUKDeals join in too.

Right, now we’re going to do the Hokey Cokey! Actually, sod it, let’s just have a look at some bargains instead.

Their customer services skills are almost universally loathed, but sit back and smile because Orange are expanding their wildly successful ‘Orange Wednesdays’ erm… thing.

Not content with banging out discounted cinema tickets to their customers, the brightly-coloured telephonetic giants are throwing in a meal deal at Pizza Express too. Find out how and maybe even why here…
(deal found by JFO1976)

If you’re unsure as to whether there’s more nutritional value in a bowl of Frosties than a pizza, now is the time to make the comparison without shelling out too much coin. 80p will get you a 500g box of the delicious breakfast treat (no sarcasm here – we don’t care how old you are, they’rrrre grrrrrrreaaaaat!)

You wouldn’t be so keen if we passed on some of the stories we’ve heard about Tony the Tiger over the years though. Owing to legal laws and the fact that, well, he’s a fucking tiger, we’re not planning to repeat them here in a hurry.
(deal found by michael mcnally)

Finally, here’s an oddity.  A set of earphones from Poundland with a double jack. Meaning that you and a loved one can listen to Barry White at a kidney-frazzling volume on Valentines Day without upsetting your curmudgeonly, lonely neighbour.

Speaking personally, the last time I bought a pair of earphones from Poundland was in an emergency about three years ago. Two minutes later they were lying at the bottom of a street bin. Hopefully the technology has improved since then.
(deal found by holly100)

As ever, today’s deals are brought to you by the forum members at HotUKDeals. Our guest columnist is Ray (right), a cheeky 92-year old London-based market trader.

Right then ladies and gents, come and take a goosey gander at what I’ve got here in my suitcase. How many of you have got one of then mp3 players eh? I don’t understand ‘em meself – whenever I want to listen to some music, I just gather me family around the old Joanna and we have a few verses of  “When Father Painted The Parlour.” Laaavely!

Anyway, here’s some terrific headphones for your mp3 player, voted winner of What Hi-Fi’s Best IN-EAR Headphones of the YEAR award in 2007. And if that ain’t a recommendation and a half, then I’m a monkey’s butler. I’m not doing them for the seventy quid on the ticket, or for fifty quid, thirty quid or even twenty quid. They’re just £17.99. That’s right – come on then form an orderly queue.
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