With only a few hours left before Valentine’s Day (if you regard more than a hundred as a few) here’s some of the latest ways you can show your love and increase your chances of getting a quick bout of ramalamadingdong without burning a hole in your all-important pocket area.

If it wasn’t for HotUKDeals, there would be no love anywhere, ever. Know this.

First off comes that traditional symbol of what we all know and love to call luuurrrve – it’s the dozen of the red roses. Not only are they beautiful and romantic but they taste great too! (note to self – research this before publishing)

But I can’t afford a dozen red roses we hear you roar. Ah, but what if they were only £2.00? HotUKDeals reader sausage25 is right behind such affordable blooms, saying: “Cheap and nasty tiny-headed roses which will droop within two days. These roses can’t be produced at this price without exploiting the growers.” So, erm, there you go.

Next up comes the romantic meal, and you can’t swisher and seductivlier (it’s sort of a word) than a Harvester restaurant. For God’s sake, there’s the infinite salad bar, the Kickin’ Garlic Chicken and the Original Spitroast. It’s all there!

Now you can get a £4.99 early bird meal deal with a FREE Sundae Best ice cream thrown into the bargain. If that won’t win the heart of your fair maiden/rugged manbloke of choice then we don’t know what will. Rohypnol?

Finally today, one for all you long-distance lovers – the kind who can only stay in touch by getting on the net and having long, lingering web chats together. Now you can ‘look’ at each other in a higher visual quality.

It’s all thanks to the Microsoft Lifecam Cinema HD 720p widescreen webcam, which is only £39.94 delivered and a right proper bargain. But if you’re an ageing Eastenders legend who decides to indulge in a game of the Mr Sausage puppet show with a fan, take care – it could cost you your job.

(deals found by HUKD members craigk8163, ianshona and 888)

Avid Bitterwallet reader James and his chums went along to their local Harvester in Thanet. Several ordered sundaes from the dessert menu, the cheeky porkers:

“Devonshire toffee sauces.” Mmmm. Sadly, the menu description and reality parted company at that point; there were so many people in James’ party, the waitress bought the ice cream sauces to the table so they could choose their own:

Not quite as ambrosial as the description made them sound, but James was hardly expecting hand maidens to pour the nectar from bowls weaved of gold. He was, however, expecting the sauces had at least been manufactured in the South West:

Toffee sauce from a celery factory in Aylesbury doesn’t sound quite as seductive as Devon. It no doubt sells far better and the average punter paying £2.49 for a dessert wouldn’t have a clue in a blind taste test, so is there any harm in marketing a product to mislead the consumer?

Of course, the ice cream may never have seen Cornwall and the chocolate probably wasn’t made in Belgium – the terms are too generic to receive Protected Geographical Status within the EU to prevent any Tom, Dick and Harry knocking out similar products and slapping an irrelevant title all over them. The real question is – does it matter? If you were in James’ position, would you expect to have paid for a generic bottle of E numbers or a more traditional topping as described?