Wash & Go commercials have long been a source of parody… and now, the bonce product is celebrating 21 years with Jimmy Bullard’s wavy locks and slightly cherubist face (you’ve seen ‘Mask’ with Cher right?). Anyway, Jimmy was apparently chosen for the campaign because of his “comedic potential”. That’s just a kind way of saying he’s a bit ugly.

Of course, all footballers are preening idiots… but so our Jim. No, if you want to see what he normally gets up to in the changing rooms (don’t worry, this is not some link to a poor lass from the pie-stand getting ‘roasted’), then click this link.

If the Matrix ran on Windows, this is what would happen.

“Take the red pill. Get the blue screen.”

[YouTube]

At one time or another, I would be willing to bet that we have all dropped our mobiles at least once.

For the 26 year old man in Western France who happened to drop his into a suctioned train toilet, the phone was not the only object that he grabbed out of the situation.

Although it hasn’t been said if he was able to retrieve his telephone, it caused a two hour stop while fireman detached the intricate pipe work located on the train to remove the man’s arm from the toilet.

“He came out on a stretcher, with his hand still jammed in the toilet bowl, which they had to saw clean off,” said a witness.

Morale of the story: Don’t drop your phone in the toilet.  How?  Don’t talk on the phone when you’re having a whizz, and please, don’t text and pee (you’ll also improve your accuracy).

[BBC]

Pepsi just rolled out their new 2008 new logo after five months of redesigning:

If you thought the £35,000 spent by Norfolk Police on their new logo was bad, this new Pepsi logo will total a cost of hundreds of millions of dollars worldwide. Frank Cooper, Pepsi’s VP said:

“By making the logo more dynamic and more alive … [it is] absolutely a huge step in the right direction.”

Sure thing, Frank. The new logo certainly moves Pepsi in the right direction. Down and out.

Here are some new bottle samples [underconsideration].

So that’s what a multi-million dollar redesign gets you. But there may be a reason for the logo rebranding after all. Notice the similarity between these 2 logos?

For those that have been living in a hut in the middle of a forest, that’s Barack Obama’s logo on the right.

The similarity was mostly ‘accidental‘, but Pepsi’s PR may have taken the similarity into consideration before deciding to do tilt the Pepsi logo and get rid of the lighting gradients. Bearing in mind, Pepsi was first, and there’s very little link between Pepsi supporting Obama.

Having said that, instead of spending hundreds of millions on a logo my 5th grader cousin could draw when she 10, if they just renamed the world’s 2nd best carbonated drink to “Obama Cola”, it’d probably make them even more money.

Digg this if you like it.

[Adage]

This amazing video game, from Monotech, is the future of gaming. It’s been under development for over a decade. The fun cannot be halted!

But don’t ever buy this game for your children, or you may find them clutching onto the controllers through the night, until their skulls burst in flames and the dreaded cones take them over.

Kyooob!

[Youtube]

This cartoon expresses the current credit situation:

We all know that money doesn’t grow on trees. The illusion is created by the US ‘Federal’ Reserve and Corporate ‘Bailouts’, printing/borrowing more ‘paper’ in exchange for government bonds that don’t really exist. This only exacerbates the problem in the long run, creating more debt.

(as a side note I recently watched the Zeitgeist Addendum, free on Google Video, for those that want to learn more about how our money system works on a cloudy Sunday afternoon worth checking out – but be warned: it’s 2 hours long!)

If you have other interpretations of the cartoon or thoughts on this issue, leave a comment below.

[Inkcinct]

To “B” or not to “B”; that is the question.

And Apple doesn’t seem to have the right answer.

The latest MacBook is streamlined and sleek, and the keyboard is aligned in a perfect brick layer pattern. Well, it would be perfect…. if this Macbook wasn’t missing the letter “B” on the keyboard!

(Photo courtesy of tech blog, Engadget.)

This huge mistake on behalf of the Apple corporation may cause some consumers to question their competence. How did this thing make it out of the design room, onto the assembly line, and out the door without someone noticing? With all the extra pounds you have to shell out to own a Mac, shouldn’t there be someone awake at the wheel?

While everyone makes mistakes, and a “B-less” MacBook might be the new “Airror“, but it might not be so funny from a consumer watchdog perspective.

[Engadget]

When it comes to using mobile phones, the thought of getting tumours in our brains has still not put most of us off. But what about the concept of having your sperms fried, one at a time?

Research conducted by the Australians concluded that your mobile phone may indeed be doing just that.

According a study done in Brisbane, heavy mobile phone use can damage DNA, most likely through triggering oxidative stress resulting in free radical damage.

In other words, your mobile phone might make you infertile:

“The preliminary study, presented at a fertility conference in Brisbane today, is the first of its kind, and supports US research showing heavy mobile phone users have up to 40 per cent lower sperm counts than lighter users.”

Professor John Aitken, director of the University of Newcastle’s Biotechnology and Develompent unit, built a device that uses the same frequency as mobile phone calls to irradiate sperm. The result?

“After 16 hours exposure, there was clear evidence of DNA damage,” Prof Aitken said. Time to move that new iPhone a little farther away from those nice spandex of yours.

But not all hope is lost. “Anti-oxidant treatments may be able to reverse the free radical damage to sperm from mobiles.” Looks like Holland & Barrett may make it through the credit crunch after all.

[News.Com.Au]

“All you have to do is to step on that little white thing.”

Getting out of the house to find a gym is difficult enough, so when Nintendo brought out The Wii Fit, we all felt like there’s finally hope in life. Watch this excellent video from SarcasticGamer to learn of all the brilliant benefits that The Wii Fit has to offer:

And if you know where to pick up a Wii Fit for an absolutely bargain, tell us. For those that don’t even have a Wii, consider getting a pre-owned Wii with Wii Sports and ANY pre-owned game from Blockbuster for just £129.99.

I’m off to cancel my David Lloyds membership, as my strategies to bulk up like The Hulk has been very disappointing. Instead, playing ‘get the ball in the hole’ sounds like it’ll tone my buttocks better than moving vigorously to those Cindy Crawford’s home fitness videos that I stole from my ex.

[SarcasticGamer via YouTube]

A Rolex Burglary in Kent goes horribly wrong, when CCTV captures the entire footage of the event.

We’ve decided to spice up the footage with a nifty soundtrack and speed it up 2x to make it even more amusing than it already is (and to save you some precious time).

Rolexes stolen worth: £30k
Time from raid to capture: 4 minutes
Combined time to serve behind bars: 16 years
Capturing it all on CCTV: priceless

Lesson: If you’re do an armed robbery, please don’t stop at the lights in a getaway vehicle. It’s sooo amateurish.

Original Video and Full Story [Kent News]

Want an iPhone?  Before you buy one, you might want to do some research.  So here’s a feature comparison between an iPhone and a stone. (found on i251.photobucket.com)

But I must admit despite their differences, Steve Jobs can probably still sell you the stone for £199.

Here at Bitterwallet, we do our best to bring justice to UK consumers like yourself.  Yes, we really do care about your well being.

But our American counterparts, The Consumerist, proves that there’s a fine line to be drawn.

One of their readers, Bryan, crossed that line recently, when he sent in a ‘tip’, confident that they would take his side:

“Okay…. Here’s an awesome email exchange between an adorama.com camera customer service rep and myself. Yeah, I’m an asshole, but this ignorant woman actually suggested that I become “born again”. All this because they put all kinds of restrictions on MY package which won’t allow me to pick up my package at the UPS office. Enjoy!”

…they did not take his side.

Why?

Saying that this guy is a ‘jerk’ is probably the understatement of the year.

Read the exchange between him and the customer rep.  You will understand why.

And well done to The Consumerist, standing up for a business when the consumer is a total a**.  There is justice in this world after all.

Complaints, anyone?

Customer Service: The Worst Tip We Have Ever Received [The Consumerist]