Posts Tagged ‘funny’

All Hail! The Domino’s customer who is rather dim

September 2nd, 2014 1 Comment By Mof Gimmers

The anticipation when ordering fast food is unbearable. You order your food and get hungrier and then realise that, if they bugger your order up, you’ll be so starving by the time it comes that you’ll probably eat it, even if it is a dish of raw chicken thighs.

Well, one scamp ordered a pizza from Domino’s and opened the box and got a nasty surprise!

The surprise for @SadderDre was that he can be prone to bouts of thundering thickness. He thought Domino’s had send him just the base of the pizza, but that wasn’t the case.

BweK19WIUAE1okX 378x500 All Hail! The Dominos customer who is rather dim

 

We can only be thankful to this young fella that he partook in this query in public, just so we could all see and snort with laughter at his daftness.

Marvellous.

 Facebook ruin The Onions jokes like massive spoilsportsAre you the kind of person who responds to a joke with “REALLY?!” Then you’re the kind of person who has probably been hoodwinked by a headline from The Onion, which all right thinking people know, is a satirical outlet.

Funnier than The Onion is the people who rant and whine after believing one of their stories, getting themselves in a fluster while everyone else laughs at them.

However, that may be a thing of the past as stupid Facebook are going to flag The Onion’s articles with a ‘satire’ tag in news feeds, just so stupid people don’t get caught out. Spoilsports.

A Facebook rep told Ars Technica that they’d “received feedback that people wanted a clearer way to distinguish satirical articles from others in these units,” which they should’ve ignored or not completely invented.

Of course, once The Onion heard about this new feature, they produced an article about a fictional man who required a tag to understand his News Feed.

If Facebook decide to roll this out, it’ll be bad news for the brilliant blog Literally Believable, who chronicle all the idiotic responses from people taken in by Onion stories.

This all reminds us of the time when someone complained about a Chris Morris sketch from The Day Today, which saw Morris responding with a typically withering put-down.

Handily, Cookdandbombd recently uploaded it and you can watch it below.

Ryanair provoke man into magnificent rage

April 29th, 2014 8 Comments By Mof Gimmers

ryanairvsign Ryanair provoke man into magnificent rageRyanair, have of late, been promising to go all cuddly and helpful. They know that they’ve got a bad reputation and, seeing as people aren’t spending their money on Ryanair as they used to, they are trying to fix it.

So much so that arch-gobcrap Michael O’Leary has said he’ll slowly back away from the company and keep his mouth shut, apart from the opportunities he gets to tell you all how lovely you’re looking today.

Naturally, this is all complete codswallop and Ryanair are the same old infuriating set of holes that they’ve always been.

And they’ve particularly annoyed one customer who has written a comprehensive and hilarious ranty complaint letter to Ryanair. And it is on the internet for us all to read!

The customer in question arrive just before check-in, but was assured everything would be fine by Ryanair staff. However, typically, this wasn’t the case and the customer was left out of pocket.

Highlights of the complaint include a member of Ryanair staff with a brain that “fell apart like a wet cake” because it was “so full of girls and Vauxhall Corsa modifications he couldn’t actually listen or speak”, the ‘Customer Services Counter’ being referred to as ‘a Customer Shouting Desk’ with a manager “so angry all his hair had literally fallen out” and one poor woman who was so unhappy that the complainant wants her to “find a more fulfilling job, like starting the very first Israeli pork pie factory, or being a parking attendant in Tower Hamlets, or in fact just resigning herself to a slow and uncomfortable death would have been indistinguishable from the current position and would require much less effort.”

If you want to read the letter in full, which has been sent to Ryanair by recorded delivery so they can’t pull a fast one, click here. It is a story of infuriating cackhandedness and uselessness, delivered with impressive bile.

Feel free to share you own stories of woe with us.

Commerical Break: Check your balls

April 4th, 2014 No Comments By Mof Gimmers

Making adverts for health concerns, are usually awkward affairs that make you want to ignore what the commercial is saying to the point where you’ll willing take the illness on offer, just to end the horror of watching it any more.

Well, over in that Canada, they’ve managed to make a funny video out of balls that might have cancer in them. They’ve mixed a serious message with a load of blokes in amusing agony, which you’ll enjoy, regardless of your gender.

Have a look… at the video and your bollocks.

Another bootleg DVD with a killer review

March 10th, 2014 1 Comment By Mof Gimmers

You may recall a fine, fine review spotted on a dodgy bootleg of Old Boy we shared (if you missed it, have a look here) and it seems to be quite the thing in the Far East.

Now, a knock-off of Shrek sees another killer one-line review which says “good, but not great.” Wouldn’t it be nice if all film blurb was that honest?

Bh5lYLYCIAARihZ 375x500 Another bootleg DVD with a killer review

[via twitter/larsenaround]

PC World is worse than hell?

March 4th, 2014 9 Comments By Mof Gimmers

Buzzfeed – the Sunday afternoon repeats of the internet – have seemingly stumbled across some Bitterwallet japery. If you look for PC World on Google, the official tile shows this as the companies logo.

pc world logo1 PC World is worse than hell?

And if you hover over the image, what will you see?

pc world hell 500x242 PC World is worse than hell?

 

There it is. Our name.

You can try it for yourself as, at the time of publication, Google or PC World haven’t actually managed to remove it or correct the error.

We’re puerile enough to be thrilled by this and we’re happy that someone has finally managed to find our little Easter Egg.

Crocodile marketing scares everyone witless

March 3rd, 2014 No Comments By Mof Gimmers

National Geographic have done an advert of a 3D crocodile which is making people poo their pants with terror.

Of course, it is one of those optical illusions that looks rubbish from certain angles. However, when you’re going down an escalator in Brazil and it is at the optimum viewpoint, there’s a very real chance that you could do a small about of wee.

crocodile 322x500 Crocodile marketing scares everyone witless

The ad, shamelessly swiped off Reddit (thanks SAT0725), is a marketing ploy for ‘Mundo Salvagem de Richard Rasmussen’ (which means, roughly, ‘are you ready for adventure in the Brazilian forests? Wild world with Richard Rasmussen’).

You have to say, as marketing goes, this is frighteningly good. Until some old person keels over and dies of a heart attack.

Oh dear. Over on TripAdvisor, a seemingly nice lady called Mary Johnston has signed herself as a place, rather than a user, and as a result of mischief, become the 87th most popular place in Glasgow.

As the screengrab below shows, the page poses the existential question of “Have you been to Mary Johnston?” You can also update her “attraction details” and find out which restaurants are near to Mary.

Bless.

mary johnson 500x301 Mary Johnston is the 87th most popular place in Glasgow

You can see the page here, but it’ll probably get removed once a load of people take the joke too far and start calling her horrible names.

Here’s an honest Facebook movie

February 7th, 2014 3 Comments By Mof Gimmers

Everyone on Facebook has been sharing their memories, thanks to those little videos that look back on what a tedious, tedious bunch we are.

However, someone’s made an honest version of these Facebook videos; perfect for skiving off work for a couple of minutes and recognising the video’s targets as the same people who grate you on a daily basis.

Have a look.

Welcome to the greatest company slogan in the world

January 24th, 2014 6 Comments By Mof Gimmers

Company slogans tend to be dry, aspirational guff, conjured up by gits in suits who get paid too much. However, some people are great at slogans for firms.

Take Northrop Enterprises who have this little beaut!

BeiU8cLIQAAlH4s 278x500 Welcome to the greatest company slogan in the world

“From the titties to the cities”. They should stick that on a t-shirt.

 

Commerical Break: Ambi Pur own perfume ads

January 17th, 2014 1 Comment By Mof Gimmers

Perfume adverts aren’t mocked nearly enough. If anyone deserves wholesale damnation, it’s the arseholes at fragrance marketing firms.

To do the job for us, Ambi Pur are on it, with this tremendous pastiche, with the catchline ‘pour lavatory’ to cap things off!

BeHV32MIcAA4aQn 335x500 Commerical Break: Ambi Pur own perfume ads

taxbill 300x180 HMRC reveal the stupid reasons for people not doing their tax returnsPeople give all manner of reasons for not handing a tax return in on-time, and HM Revenue & Customs has heard them all. And now, with a tax return deadline imminent, they thought they’d share the daftest reason for people’s tardiness.

Goldfish dying and woman too stunned after seeing a volcano go off on the news got onto the top ten of the most ‘bizarre and flimsy’ excuses and each one was met with a £100 fine from HMRC officials.

Others include a thespian from Coventry who said he was too busy touring the country with his one-man play while elsewhere, a taxi driver with a bad back would’ve done his return but he had a bad back and wasn’t able to clamber upstairs to get his tax return form. One corker was the man on a world cruise in his yacht who basically said they don’t have postboxes on the sea.

The best was a London accountant who told inspectors that he had been too busy submitting his clients’ tax returns to file his own.

HMRC’s head of personal tax, Ruth Owen, said: ‘There will always be unforeseen events that mean a taxpayer could not file their tax return on time. However, your pet goldfish passing away isn’t one of them.”

Fill out a self-assessment return for the 2012/13 tax year before the January 31st if you want to avoid a fine and if you’re struggling, have a look at www.hmrc.gov.uk/sa or call the self-assessment helpline on 0300 200 3310.

Windsor Meat Co. versus Vegans

December 30th, 2013 22 Comments By Mof Gimmers

Ever secretly thought of becoming a vegan? Of course you haven’t. Everyone would’ve heard about it constantly and loudly. However, the Windsor Meat Co. decided to share a few facts about vegans in their shop window, trolling them into weak fury.

Meat-eaters may have yellowing fat around their internal organs, but it seems like they’re having more fun, according to this little fact sheet.

BcaFqO7IEAAsw v 375x500 Windsor Meat Co. versus Vegans