Posts Tagged ‘funny’
Remember our pal who worked in a Co-op, who sat on a scally who was trying to shoplift booze? Well, sadly, he got suspended from his job, because you’re not supposed to sit on people’s necks.
If you can’t remember the incident, here’s a lovely photo of our hero.
Good news! He’s got his job back! That’s right, Adrian Weekes went a bit viral the other week, after he tackled a young lad who has been trying to nick booze from his shop.
As the photo spread on the internet, Weekes found himself suspended by Midcounties Co-operative, as they investigated the incident. The spoilsports. They should have given him a massive medal and four cans of Spesh. Either way, hundreds of people signed a petition to get Adrian back into work, and even more supported a Facebook campaign, imaginatively called ‘Let’s help Adrian Weekes keep his job.’
Well, the Co-Op have confirmed that Adrian is back working at the store.
Now, who is going to tell his bosses that, during his heroism, someone at the store ordered the 15 year old shoplifter to pay for the goods… and those goods were booze… therefore someone has accepted money from an underage person, for alcohol? We’ve said too much already…
Customer service can be a frustrating affair sometimes. Often, muttering under your breath will purge you of your anger… but sometimes, people need to maintain their fury and take it to the internet.
Now, as we know, most people aren’t very good at complaining on the internet, and are neither helpful or funny. We’re more concerned with the latter in this case, with a man who has so much impotent rage, that it all came spilling out of his guts after a trip to an Apple store.
Enjoy. Contains swearing. Lots of it.
As you can see, this man was not impressed by his visit, and indeed, sounds like he’s kinda angry at Apple as a whole.
Still, nothing makes us glow quite like a miniature Falling Down moment, and this is a grade-A effort from a man who is still probably seething at something else now. Marvellous work.
Every time we write about petrol, we’re either talking about someone taking 1p off the price, or complaining about drivers getting ripped off at the pumps.
Well, now, we’re talking about an old lady who made a spectacular two-wheeled exit from a petrol station in Wales. Hurray!
The lady’s wheelie was captured by the station’s CCTV, where she clips the kerb and ends up driving like she’s The Fall Guy or something. Mercifully, she was safe and everything was fine and she was on all four wheels in no time.
Footage was uploaded online by Sian Jones, who said: “She wasn’t fazed at all. She was going on to the main road to re-approach the forecourt to be the right side for petrol.”
Now, killjoys, feel free to complain about old people being unsafe on the road, and how road safety is no laughing matter, in the comments.
Marks and Spencer has said sorry for spelling out a rather rude phrase on their website while they were trying to flog Christmas at everyone.
M&S are currently advertising their festive tree decorations, where you buy two and get one free. Some of the Christmas tree decorations are glittery red letters, so you can hang them up and spell your own rude words if you like.
And lo, the website showed the decorations spelling out the very unchristian ‘FCK ME’. See for yourself.
Sadly, this wasn’t the work of some cheeky programmer or employee, but rather, caused by a computer program which generates the placements in a random order.
A spokesperson for Marks and Spencersaid: “This was due to the algorithms used to display products on our website – it was quickly spotted and corrected.”
We’ve been doing our bit and pointing you in the direction of some jobs for Christmas, and remarkably, a number of readers and drive-by commenters have been under the illusion that Bitterwallet’s comment section is the place to leave a message for a big corporation, so they’ll get back to you.
So with that, it could be very interesting if people don’t read this article properly and end up offering their services for this that we spotted online.
Now, it might look like the city of Dundee is offering fellatio on a major scale, but sadly, that’s not the case.
The Courier newspaper dropped a clanger as the newspaper headline should have actually said ‘major jobs blow’, but some cheeky so-and-so cut the sheet up and rearranged the words. Good work, to whoever did that, obviously.
“If you actually look closely you can see the lines… Some cheeky scamp has come along and taken his chances,” said the Courier’s news editor Alan Richardson. “But there we are, it’s one of those things. Not a big deal.”
We look forward to people leaving their numbers for that.
Nanas are the best. They provide biscuits and cantankerous wisdom which you try and ignore, and ultimately end up agreeing with. Well, one eBay vendor has decided to use their gran as a model.
This lady is 94-years-old, and she’s like the models from Wheel of Fortune.
For some reason, this eBay seller seems to have a load of old weapons and things made of wood. And nana is of course, on hand to wield them in photographs on the internet.
This lady is actually the auntie of the seller in question, but she looks more like a granny to us, and we’re sticking with that. She’s related to the Bulgarian eBay seller called ‘retrooobg’, and to finish off, here’s our favourite photograph of her.
If you’d like to see more of her, then click here to visit the eBay page she graces.
You remember the Alan Partridge sketch, when the tragically funny TV host pitched some ideas to an executive, including the infamous ‘Monkey Tennis’ and ‘Inner City Sumo’?
Well, ‘Youth Hostelling with Chris Eubank’, was one of the more famous suggestions and now, oddly, it has become something of a reality.
Eubank said he’d previously no idea why everyone kept mentioning youth hostels to him, but now, he’s in on the joke and the video above was made.
Sadly, this isn’t a television show, but rather, a commercial for booking site Hostelworld.
That doesn’t make this stunt rubbish though. The show itself would invariably be no cop at all, and in this short form, we get to enjoy it, and the fact that some PR person for a hostel company managed to convince someone to spend a load of money on a line from an Alan Partridge joke.
We’re still waiting on ‘Arm Wrestling With Chas & Dave’, Channel Five.
As all sensible people know, it doesn’t matter whether you’re on Android or Apple, because it is a phone and, only a desperately sad human would define themselves by their operating service.
However, we also know that some people actually do care. They think that by being an Apple Fanboy, or an Android Devotee, they’ve made a very definite decision about themselves and what kind of person they’re projecting themselves to be. [insert obligatory God Help Us If There's A War comment here]
Here at Bitterwallet, we like it when absolutely anyone gets the piss taken out of them, so with that, we go to Alexander Spoor and Sacha Harland, who are behind the Dutch YouTube comedy thingy, ‘Dit Is Normal’. They’ve put a video out which shows Apple Fanboys being told that Android is the new iOS9.
Are they going to say the whole thing is a travesty or will they simply follow the Apple party-line by saying ‘of course it is better! Apple is always better!’?
As you can see, some people think the OS is rather swish, saying things like ‘I like it a lot!’ and referring to the system as “faster, smoother, prettier, and more practical.”
If you’re an Android Devotee, don’t be thinking that this is a victory for Android though – all this shows is that some people are quite dim sometimes. Stop crowing.
Anyway, the conclusion to the clip is that “it doesn’t matter what Apple releases because people are going to think it’s prettier, bigger and better than the competition anyway.”
Working in retail can be very tedious, so you have to make your own fun. You can dream about kicking awful customers up the rear, or you can imagine all manner of accidents befalling your irritating line-manager.
Or, if you’re Shane, you can go down a completely different route.
Shane, bless him, gets so bored, that he pretends the paper bags can talk.
As you can see, Shane gets very bored, to the point where he’s got more than one personality.
Extended warranties on fried chicken eh?
We still want to know about this good stuff in the back though.
Shane’s ‘Swinecraft’ could be a moneyspinner in fairness.
Of course, Shane is almost certainly a funny fabrication, but you can’t be mad at this. You can see the rest of Shane’s handiwork, here.
People who are able bodied shouldn’t park in bays set aside for disabled people. You might think you should be able to, but you shouldn’t. Why? You’ve had enough, you bloated swine.
In Brazil, someone found themselves on the end of a grand prank, after they’d parked in such a spot.
The person in question came back to his car to find it covered in stickers, to make the whole vehicle look like a blue disabilities logo. The front, top, sides and even wheels were covered.
As you can see from the video, not only did the driver suffer the defacement of his car, but also, a watching and sarcastically cheering crowd too. He sped off and everyone laughed at him.
Not only that, the driver in question got himself a ticket too.
Now, we hand you over to all those people who have missed the fun of a prank like this, for them to complain about vandalism and littering or something.
Remember everyone in Scotland mocking Microsoft, for their advert where they basically mentioned cricket? Of course, Scottish people don’t play cricket – they prefer backstreet wrestling and thumb-wars.
Here is the offending Cortana advert.
Well, Microsoft have decided to make things right in Glasgow, by providing them with a brand new advert, just for them.
Instead of saying “Cortana can remind you to see if James is up for the cricket this weekend”, which was roundly booed, the new advert – which Microsoft were hoping would go viral – has rectified it.
The new ad reads: “Cortana, next time I speak with Chris, remind me not to mention the cricket.” And here’s the new advert, in exactly the same position, and aimed at the one person who tweeted about it last week.