Posts Tagged ‘funny’
Nanas are the best. They provide biscuits and cantankerous wisdom which you try and ignore, and ultimately end up agreeing with. Well, one eBay vendor has decided to use their gran as a model.
This lady is 94-years-old, and she’s like the models from Wheel of Fortune.
For some reason, this eBay seller seems to have a load of old weapons and things made of wood. And nana is of course, on hand to wield them in photographs on the internet.
This lady is actually the auntie of the seller in question, but she looks more like a granny to us, and we’re sticking with that. She’s related to the Bulgarian eBay seller called ‘retrooobg’, and to finish off, here’s our favourite photograph of her.
If you’d like to see more of her, then click here to visit the eBay page she graces.
You remember the Alan Partridge sketch, when the tragically funny TV host pitched some ideas to an executive, including the infamous ‘Monkey Tennis’ and ‘Inner City Sumo’?
Well, ‘Youth Hostelling with Chris Eubank’, was one of the more famous suggestions and now, oddly, it has become something of a reality.
Eubank said he’d previously no idea why everyone kept mentioning youth hostels to him, but now, he’s in on the joke and the video above was made.
Sadly, this isn’t a television show, but rather, a commercial for booking site Hostelworld.
That doesn’t make this stunt rubbish though. The show itself would invariably be no cop at all, and in this short form, we get to enjoy it, and the fact that some PR person for a hostel company managed to convince someone to spend a load of money on a line from an Alan Partridge joke.
We’re still waiting on ‘Arm Wrestling With Chas & Dave’, Channel Five.
As all sensible people know, it doesn’t matter whether you’re on Android or Apple, because it is a phone and, only a desperately sad human would define themselves by their operating service.
However, we also know that some people actually do care. They think that by being an Apple Fanboy, or an Android Devotee, they’ve made a very definite decision about themselves and what kind of person they’re projecting themselves to be. [insert obligatory God Help Us If There's A War comment here]
Here at Bitterwallet, we like it when absolutely anyone gets the piss taken out of them, so with that, we go to Alexander Spoor and Sacha Harland, who are behind the Dutch YouTube comedy thingy, ‘Dit Is Normal’. They’ve put a video out which shows Apple Fanboys being told that Android is the new iOS9.
Are they going to say the whole thing is a travesty or will they simply follow the Apple party-line by saying ‘of course it is better! Apple is always better!’?
As you can see, some people think the OS is rather swish, saying things like ‘I like it a lot!’ and referring to the system as “faster, smoother, prettier, and more practical.”
If you’re an Android Devotee, don’t be thinking that this is a victory for Android though – all this shows is that some people are quite dim sometimes. Stop crowing.
Anyway, the conclusion to the clip is that “it doesn’t matter what Apple releases because people are going to think it’s prettier, bigger and better than the competition anyway.”
Working in retail can be very tedious, so you have to make your own fun. You can dream about kicking awful customers up the rear, or you can imagine all manner of accidents befalling your irritating line-manager.
Or, if you’re Shane, you can go down a completely different route.
Shane, bless him, gets so bored, that he pretends the paper bags can talk.
As you can see, Shane gets very bored, to the point where he’s got more than one personality.
Extended warranties on fried chicken eh?
We still want to know about this good stuff in the back though.
Shane’s ‘Swinecraft’ could be a moneyspinner in fairness.
Of course, Shane is almost certainly a funny fabrication, but you can’t be mad at this. You can see the rest of Shane’s handiwork, here.
People who are able bodied shouldn’t park in bays set aside for disabled people. You might think you should be able to, but you shouldn’t. Why? You’ve had enough, you bloated swine.
In Brazil, someone found themselves on the end of a grand prank, after they’d parked in such a spot.
The person in question came back to his car to find it covered in stickers, to make the whole vehicle look like a blue disabilities logo. The front, top, sides and even wheels were covered.
As you can see from the video, not only did the driver suffer the defacement of his car, but also, a watching and sarcastically cheering crowd too. He sped off and everyone laughed at him.
Not only that, the driver in question got himself a ticket too.
Now, we hand you over to all those people who have missed the fun of a prank like this, for them to complain about vandalism and littering or something.
Remember everyone in Scotland mocking Microsoft, for their advert where they basically mentioned cricket? Of course, Scottish people don’t play cricket – they prefer backstreet wrestling and thumb-wars.
Here is the offending Cortana advert.
Well, Microsoft have decided to make things right in Glasgow, by providing them with a brand new advert, just for them.
Instead of saying “Cortana can remind you to see if James is up for the cricket this weekend”, which was roundly booed, the new advert – which Microsoft were hoping would go viral – has rectified it.
The new ad reads: “Cortana, next time I speak with Chris, remind me not to mention the cricket.” And here’s the new advert, in exactly the same position, and aimed at the one person who tweeted about it last week.
If you’ve been out in the world with your eyes open at any point, you’ll know that sometimes, Out Of Order signs will appear on toilets. They’re annoying, but a necessary evil.
However, one sign at a Debenhams in Cardiff has caused a bit of interest over what is either a fun joke or a brilliant spelling mistake. The sign apologises “for any incontinence this may cause.”
We can’t decide whether or not that someone is having a joke, or if it is a genuine spelling error. Either way, we’re glad it exists.
Just as long as you didn’t see it in person and end up pissing your sides.
Ever wanted to send someone a fart in a jar? Ever thought; “Alan from accounts would really like a jar with a trump in it – I’d like to see his face and his flaring nostrils when he opens it. I really hate Alan from accounts.”
Well, you’re in luck! You no longer have to hover over an old jam jar you’d washed out, with your hole parping away into the receptacle. You can now get someone to do it for you for money.
Send a Jart is a proper thing and it’ll cost you $10, which seems like both a rip-off and a bargain at the same time.
So what do you need to do? Well, on the Send A Jart website, you ‘choose a booty blast’ (options include ‘crispy’ and ‘Republican’) then write a personalised message, then seal up the stink jar and then you ‘fist bump an eagle’ because, in the words of the company: “What’s that sound? Oh, that’s just the sound of sweet-ass victory being poured in a glass. Drink it up, my friend.”
Of course, you could just do all this yourself, but careful you don’t end up like the grotesque and totally NSFW 1 Man 1 Jar video, okay?
You’ll know that retailers have to impose all manner of rules on customers that are buying booze. They advise you drink responsibly and ask you not to drink them on the premises and all that jazz.
However, at WH Smith, they have drinking rules that are, to say the least, conceptual.
As you can see from the sign, they say: “Alcohol purchased in WH Smith cannot be consumed anywhere inside or outside these premises.” It seems like, should you want to crack open a tin of bitter, you might have to open up an extra dimension that is neither inside or outside the shop, or something.
Of course, this isn’t the most bizarre concept WH Smith has come up with – have you ever seen how they price things in train stations? Some of the basics are so expensive that it’ll make you feel like you’ve had a brain injury.
[nicked off Twitter]
As you know, sometimes you have to barter with companies to get a deal. One fella called Richard Moore chanced his arm when contacting a Chinese restaurant.
He asked, because he was bringing a group to Twin Dynasty in Kent, if it would be possible to get a discount.
Unfortunately for the restaurant, they don’t know how to work technology and, presumably hitting ‘reply all’, Moore soon found himself being called a “cheeky f***er”.
Restaurant director Nick Byram said sorry, saying: “As I explained to Mr Moore the email he received was a genuine mistake sent to the wrong recipient on a completely different matter and topic.”
Moore isn’t having any of it, saying: “I was completely shocked, I’ve told friends who have said they are disgusted by it all. I certainly won’t be eating there.”
Of course, Moore should be angling for LOADS of free stuff now by way of compensation. Of course, there’s no real emotional distress or anything like that over something as trivial as this… but this is the dance of customer service. When you cock-up, you’ve got to either try and out-troll someone or hold your hands up and give the aggrieved a load of fodder and laugh it off.
You’ll remember the Protein World advert which made a load of people angry – while the owner of the company said people who were defacing them were ‘terrorists’, they’re not the only ones who want to mock.
Carlsberg decided to do their own response on the London Underground.
While Protein World seemed to actively enjoy the negative attention for their ‘body shaming’ billboard, Carlsberg decided to paraphrase them with a ‘beer body’ ad, as you can see above.
The Carlsberg bottle even has a nice pair of yellow bikini bottoms on, just like the advert it mocked with the “Are you beer body ready?” slogan. This of course prompted “If Carlsberg did adverts, they’d probably do the best adverts in the world’ pun in everyone’s heads.