Posts Tagged ‘funny’
People who are able bodied shouldn’t park in bays set aside for disabled people. You might think you should be able to, but you shouldn’t. Why? You’ve had enough, you bloated swine.
In Brazil, someone found themselves on the end of a grand prank, after they’d parked in such a spot.
The person in question came back to his car to find it covered in stickers, to make the whole vehicle look like a blue disabilities logo. The front, top, sides and even wheels were covered.
As you can see from the video, not only did the driver suffer the defacement of his car, but also, a watching and sarcastically cheering crowd too. He sped off and everyone laughed at him.
Not only that, the driver in question got himself a ticket too.
Now, we hand you over to all those people who have missed the fun of a prank like this, for them to complain about vandalism and littering or something.
Remember everyone in Scotland mocking Microsoft, for their advert where they basically mentioned cricket? Of course, Scottish people don’t play cricket – they prefer backstreet wrestling and thumb-wars.
Here is the offending Cortana advert.
Well, Microsoft have decided to make things right in Glasgow, by providing them with a brand new advert, just for them.
Instead of saying “Cortana can remind you to see if James is up for the cricket this weekend”, which was roundly booed, the new advert – which Microsoft were hoping would go viral – has rectified it.
The new ad reads: “Cortana, next time I speak with Chris, remind me not to mention the cricket.” And here’s the new advert, in exactly the same position, and aimed at the one person who tweeted about it last week.
If you’ve been out in the world with your eyes open at any point, you’ll know that sometimes, Out Of Order signs will appear on toilets. They’re annoying, but a necessary evil.
However, one sign at a Debenhams in Cardiff has caused a bit of interest over what is either a fun joke or a brilliant spelling mistake. The sign apologises “for any incontinence this may cause.”
We can’t decide whether or not that someone is having a joke, or if it is a genuine spelling error. Either way, we’re glad it exists.
Just as long as you didn’t see it in person and end up pissing your sides.
Ever wanted to send someone a fart in a jar? Ever thought; “Alan from accounts would really like a jar with a trump in it – I’d like to see his face and his flaring nostrils when he opens it. I really hate Alan from accounts.”
Well, you’re in luck! You no longer have to hover over an old jam jar you’d washed out, with your hole parping away into the receptacle. You can now get someone to do it for you for money.
Send a Jart is a proper thing and it’ll cost you $10, which seems like both a rip-off and a bargain at the same time.
So what do you need to do? Well, on the Send A Jart website, you ‘choose a booty blast’ (options include ‘crispy’ and ‘Republican’) then write a personalised message, then seal up the stink jar and then you ‘fist bump an eagle’ because, in the words of the company: “What’s that sound? Oh, that’s just the sound of sweet-ass victory being poured in a glass. Drink it up, my friend.”
Of course, you could just do all this yourself, but careful you don’t end up like the grotesque and totally NSFW 1 Man 1 Jar video, okay?
You’ll know that retailers have to impose all manner of rules on customers that are buying booze. They advise you drink responsibly and ask you not to drink them on the premises and all that jazz.
However, at WH Smith, they have drinking rules that are, to say the least, conceptual.
As you can see from the sign, they say: “Alcohol purchased in WH Smith cannot be consumed anywhere inside or outside these premises.” It seems like, should you want to crack open a tin of bitter, you might have to open up an extra dimension that is neither inside or outside the shop, or something.
Of course, this isn’t the most bizarre concept WH Smith has come up with – have you ever seen how they price things in train stations? Some of the basics are so expensive that it’ll make you feel like you’ve had a brain injury.
[nicked off Twitter]
As you know, sometimes you have to barter with companies to get a deal. One fella called Richard Moore chanced his arm when contacting a Chinese restaurant.
He asked, because he was bringing a group to Twin Dynasty in Kent, if it would be possible to get a discount.
Unfortunately for the restaurant, they don’t know how to work technology and, presumably hitting ‘reply all’, Moore soon found himself being called a “cheeky f***er”.
Restaurant director Nick Byram said sorry, saying: “As I explained to Mr Moore the email he received was a genuine mistake sent to the wrong recipient on a completely different matter and topic.”
Moore isn’t having any of it, saying: “I was completely shocked, I’ve told friends who have said they are disgusted by it all. I certainly won’t be eating there.”
Of course, Moore should be angling for LOADS of free stuff now by way of compensation. Of course, there’s no real emotional distress or anything like that over something as trivial as this… but this is the dance of customer service. When you cock-up, you’ve got to either try and out-troll someone or hold your hands up and give the aggrieved a load of fodder and laugh it off.
You’ll remember the Protein World advert which made a load of people angry – while the owner of the company said people who were defacing them were ‘terrorists’, they’re not the only ones who want to mock.
Carlsberg decided to do their own response on the London Underground.
While Protein World seemed to actively enjoy the negative attention for their ‘body shaming’ billboard, Carlsberg decided to paraphrase them with a ‘beer body’ ad, as you can see above.
The Carlsberg bottle even has a nice pair of yellow bikini bottoms on, just like the advert it mocked with the “Are you beer body ready?” slogan. This of course prompted “If Carlsberg did adverts, they’d probably do the best adverts in the world’ pun in everyone’s heads.
Catalogues for supermarkets and the like, are always thoroughly tedious affairs. There’s so little of interest in them, that we’ll pounce on just about anything that raises the vaguest of smiles.
However, we’re beaming at the brilliantly odd child who stars in this week’s Lidl catalogue. For reasons unclear, the photo shows a little girl chewing on a flower.
So whether they left this in because they thought it was funny or they just didn’t check, the whole thing is by-the-by, as everyone can enjoy the daft things children do, like sticking flowers in their mouths and eating them.
There’s nothing worse than finding out your favourite chippie is closed. Usually, they’ve shut up shop ‘due to a family bereavement’ or because they’re ‘renovating’.
However, one chippie closed for something quite different. This fella was going on holiday and he left a note to customers, which will have left them chuckling.
As you can see, he wrote: “This year my wife has decided to take us all youth hosteling, I told her at her age she would be better off with Saga. We are taking two of our children. 1 Daughter in law, plus 1 grandson. No internet, mobile phones, playstations etc.”
“Personally I think we will all be bored to tears. She who must be obeyed says we will have a great time telling tales round the campfire etc.”
He’s back in the shop now, and hopefully, stocked up on beer and gadgets.
When you’ve had a few, navigating your way around a toilet visit can be treacherous. You’ve invariably left it too late and rush to get your kecks undone and there’s other humans milling about pointlessly while you try to avoid soiling yourself. And then you’ve got splashback issues and other people farting.
It really can be nightmarish.
One bar decided that the whole situation wasn’t enough of a headmelt and decided to toy with patrons by creating a false door that would mess with nature’s call. A Reddit user went to relieve himself and found himself draining of colour, as well as excretions, thinking that he was in the ladies instead of the gents.
The reality was that the bar in question had put in a fake door that looked like the reverse of the ladies’ toilets, just to frazzle burping blokes into thinking that they’d dropped a massive clanger.
Redditor Jaydscustom said: “As I’m leaving the restroom panic sets in…then I realize I just pissed in a urinal and the bathroom door was solid wood when I came in. Oh you clever, clever door.”
Tesco can’t get a thing right at the moment, with legal action being taken against them for that accounting balls-up, and now, they’re being far too literal with their marketing slogans.
Have a look at this lovely scene and see if you can spot it (we didn’t, immediately).
While the Tesco lorry proudly crows: “You shop, we drop”, you can see that the fella in the hi-vis jacket has taken the slogan on as gospel, and dropped his load everywhere.
If advertising slogans are all correct, maybe Gillette is the best a man can get and the men of the world have already peaked, and we should just give up?