You know that horrible clawing feeling you get when you approach airport security? That feeling that you’re probably going to make something beep and you’ll end up hearing the sickening snap of a latex glove being pulled on over your shoulder? Even though you know you’re not secreting a huge bomb (or maybe you are, having read some of the comments), your hands go clammy and you gulp like a nervous cartoon character.

Well, that feeling could increase tenfold as passengers will now step through a Stargate portal that electronically undresses you until you’re completely naked.

Mercifully, it isn’t a case of Dr Octopus style arms tearing your clothes off, but rather, a scanner that x-rays you and takes an image of you in the nip. Of course, this means that airport staff will be able to see if you’ve got knives strapped to your chest, but it also means that, with this full-body scanner – actually being trialled at Manchester airport – security will be able to see a very clear outline of your genitals.

The scan will show a black and white image (it’ll probably be in HD after a while, such is technology) of you which will be seen by one officer in a remote location before it is deleted according to someone at Manchester Airport called Sarah Barrett. She didn’t say whether they’d be furiously masturbating or not. Probably not having walked around Britain with my eyes open.

Of course, in theory, this means that the whole security check-in process will be sped up as you won’t have to remove your coat/belt/shoes/false leg.

These scanners have been trialled before at Heathrow airport in 2004 and The Department for Transport will decide whether to install them permanently at the end of the trial, which is expected to last for a year.

If you don’t want anyone seeing your massive girth or fake knockers, you can refuse the virtual strip and have a trad. arr. pat down instead.

[via Guardian]

Editor Vincent is most likely on a transatlantic flight as we speak. But the thought of being jammed in economy like a pack of sardines does no good for his morale.

Over the years, he’s learned that some tricks and tools of the trade from the world’s finest, including how to avoid the unfortunately more than common scenario of spending a 15 hour flight jammed in between two burly men, rather than two gorgeous females.

Here’s a few things Vincent does during his flights right now; he’d love to know of any other tips you have to make the flight more comfortable:

1. Carry a noise canceling headset, like the Bose Quiet Comfort 3s (or these alternative cheaper noise cancelling ones for £4.99 from HUKD).  Remember to charge up the battery ahead of time.  And bring an airplane audio converter, like this one from memorybits for £2.65.  Much better than the plastic earpieces in case something good pops up on the in-flight entertainment.

2. Load a laptop up with some tasks to do. Obviously this needs to be a long life battery like the Samsung NC10 with it 7 hour battery life.  The 10″ screen means when the passenger in front reclines, his laptop won’t die in his arms.  A USB powered external HDD is also a good idea, especially in economy, with the seat in front of you reclined. So get some work done. Save the movies and porno for landing. (more…)

Upon discovering a purple felt-tip pen lodged firmly in my left ear, my grandmother scolded me, bellowing “you should never put anything in your ear smaller than your elbow!” Yet here we are, some 25 years later – she’s dead and I’m not. Guess it worked out ok, then.

Pro-Idee never listened to my grandmother either, and thank goodness they didn’t, otherwise they’d never have created their Ear Pressure Equalizer. If like me, you suffer pain in your ears when flying, this will be a godsend. Increased cabin pressure presses your eardrum inwards and your ears can become “blocked” – in my case to the point of deafness for up to a day. This little gizmo sucks air from the outer ear canal creating a slight vacuum which gently pushes the eardrum back into its original position.

There’s no chance of causing damage to your lughole either; a safety vent prevents excess pressure blowing a hole in your head. All this, and it was invented by a professor too, so you know it’s good.

[Pro Idee]