It seems that something has gone horribly wrong at the HQ of play.com over the past few hours, if the word of BW reader Wout is anything to go by.

He’s been having problems getting to speak to any of their customer service reps and reports that the line cuts off after about four minutes, regardless of whether you’ve actually been able to speak to anyone or not.

If that wasn’t bad enough, Wout was sent no less than 24 emails from play.com, each one confirming the dispatch of an ordered item. A minor glitch you might think, until you learned that each one is for a different item and is for someone else.

So now Wout, who assures us that he is not an identity thief, has the names and addresses of a bunch of play.com customers. Well done play!

Wout adds:

“The one time I actually managed to speak someone for more than 10 seconds, he repeatedly refused to take my phone number – as I told them this was my fifth attempt – and in broken English told me I should ignore any problem like that and just delete the emails, as they would solve it.”

He has since had further communication from them, telling him that the colossal cock up is ‘under investigation’ and that they’ll compensate him for the countless wasted phone calls he made in an attempt to alert them to it.

Have any Bitterwallet readers received other people’s dispatch emails complete with personal details? Should play have their internationally-recognised ‘could organise a piss-up in a brewery’ charter mark revoked? How confident do you feel about dealing with them now?

They'll never get wi-fi in there

Here at Bitterwallet, we’re on top of all death-related consumer developments. Last week, we brought you news of a new type of urn, one custom-made to look just like the dead person whose ashes reside inside it. Jazzy.

Now, if you’re the person who plans to be inside one of those urns, you can address your loved ones from beyond the grave with a new service from a company called the Last Messages Club. They’ll store up to 100 emails that will be released to their intended recipients at dates decided by you before you peg it.

Just what you need – a ‘happy birthday’ email from your long-dead dad to knock you into shape as you stare blearily at your PC mourning the passing of another year. Not surprisingly, it ain’t free – the silver package is £45 while the gold option will set you back £190.

Of course, you could alternatively craft some hand-written letters marked ‘to be opened in the event of my death’ and leave them in the care of a trusted individual. But what would be special about that? You’re far better off bashing out some emails on your computer and paying someone almost £200 for the pleasure of keeping them for you.

No wonder you’re dying soon. You’re weak you are mate.

[Which?]

Not Harj

The Bitterwallet Worst UK Company of 2009 award is coming soon, and one of the minnows has made a big push for the big prize with some diabolical customer service aimed at Harj, a Bitterwallet reader.

Harj ordered some hair care products from the online store of Tops Hair Salon in Bolton a couple of weeks ago. When the goods hadn’t arrived, he enquired after their whereabouts in a nice, friendly way…

“Hi,
I ordered these items 8 days ago and still have not received them.
Just wondering if there’s any more information, how are they sent, is there any tracking numbers?
Regards,
Harj”

…to which the reply came…

“they will probably be at your local sorting office”

Okay, he thought, they probably won’t be, and Harj replied to Tops, explaining why…

“Hi,
If they were at the local sorting office I would have had a card through the door (like my 2 Amazon deliveries this week, which were also sent second class on Monday and have been received).
Was this just sent normal delivery second class? Any tracking numbers?”

This not-unreasonable piece of reasoning seemed to get their backs up at Tops Hair Salon, bringing forth this next email from them…

“when you stop talking to me like shit and ask nicely i will answer you, put as many fucking question marks as you like”

Oh. Oh dear. No need for that, Tops Hair Salon in Bolton. Fortunately, Harj was amused by the sour turn the conversation had taken and responded with…

“Haha ace customer service!”

That must have made him look like a clever twat, at least to whoever is in charge of emails at Tops Hair Salon in Bolton, as their next email read…

“clever twat, have the products and the money. you scrota”

We think they mean ‘scrote’ although we’re not completely sure. Sadly, Harj still hasn’t received the products OR any money, and has filed a Paypal dispute. Here’s hoping it gets sorted soon.

We would not recommend you bait Tops Hair Salon using the email address on their website. That would be wrong. Very wrong.