Apparently, this factory sealed NES game is the rarest licensed NES game available for purchase in North America. The free shipping was sure to have been a dealbreaker.

Nice, but it’s hardly Jet Set Willy, is it? Thanks to avid Bitterwallet reader Jon for the spot.

As of yesterday, and following a sustained campaign by sellers, eBay has once again adjusted its rules over P&P. In the past, hiking up postage fees was a sneaky way for sellers to earn extra cash but eBay turned that trick on its head last year, making certain items P&P-free.

Naturally, this enraged sellers who found themselves forced to increase their starting bid prices to include the cost of P&P, which in turn meant that a larger chunk of their earnings went to eBay as Final Value Fees. Grim.

Still following this? If not, here’s a picture of a kestrel for you to stare at for a minute or two.

So anyway, hordes of angry eBay sellers have been kicking right off over the rule changes for the past few months until yesterday, when eBay altered their P&P rules, making things kind of like how they were before.

As well as scrapping the free P&P rules, the widely-hated online trading site has implemented a new list of categories that have maximum charges for postage and packing, in an attempt to put an end to blatant profiteering, although we expect that hundreds of ways to get around this have already been dreamt up.

Humans – scum aren’t we? And eBay – them too.

A year ago I wrote a guide to sorting finances out. I ignored it completely, because I’m a grade A dick with money. It’s time that changed – most of us have this period of deadtime after Christmas which we spend stuffing our face with lard and booze, so instead I’ve tried putting mine to good use. This is a quick breeze through what I’ve been up to – feel free to throw in any extra advice in the comments, especially for the final part concerning reselling.

First off, I’ve gone through the last three month’s worth of bank statements to see how much the family was spending. I really wish I hadn’t because it was out by a long way. Balls.  But if I don’t measure it, I can’t manage it – I’ve now got a spreadsheet which I swear on my children’s lives I will complete every week. We now have a new monthly budget that’s reasonable but not excessive, although I may have to chop the wife’s hands off in order to stick to it.

Now I can see that there’s spare money sloshing about, I’ve got a plan to pay off the two credit cards and overdraft hanging round my neck. I reckon I can pay them off in order of highest APR in about 18 months, instead of making the minimum payments and not daring to opening the statements (today I’ve opened my first credit card statement in a year – again, I am a dick). I’ll still have an outrageously large bank loan for another year after that, but I’m managing those payments for the moment. (more…)

It’s proving to be the most controversial poll since the Christmas number one battle even though it’s, well, about ten thousand times more important. Yes, it’s the Bitterwallet Worst Company In Britain 2009 competition – the public vote that’s led to almost six inches of rabid complaining. Maybe Bitterwallet should have been included in the line-up? A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!

Just a reminder that you’ve still got until midnight to cast your vote in what, lest we forget is JUST A BIT OF FUN REALLY AND NOT ACTUALLY THE GENERAL FUCKING ELECTION. Then, we’ll announce who you’ve voted as the worst company of the past year and the head honchos of said company will at best raise an eyebrow and carry on being shite.

Undaunted, we’ll soon be accepting your nominations for the Best Company in Britain 2009, and we’re REALLY looking forward to the warped arguments that competition will lead to.

Oh you lot: we love you to bits but GAAAAHHHHHHH!!

At long last, we bring you the final of Bitterwallet’s Worst Company In Britain 2009 competition, and not without a smattering of controversy. After studying our reports of voting patterns, we learned that the results of the second semi-final were tainted by multiple votes for DSGi, a stunt that was probably pulled by a bored paedophile or someone with an unfeasibly tiny penis, like a chipolata as viewed through the wrong end of a telescope.

As a result, the DSGi votes have been disregarded and Paypal and Orange have been put forward into the final, where they join eBay and Royal Mail. Bitterwallet’s decision is final but feel free to mewl on about it until 2010 if it’ll make you feel better.

Voting will go on until midnight on Tuesday, offering you ample time to try and hack this poll as well. But we don’t care because we have SO many other methods of determining a winner, some of which involve a pin and a top hat. Bitterwallet’s decision is final so etc etc etc…

Thrill yourselves skinny with the results to date, which are here and back by popular demand for the final is the picture of the large toy giraffe lurking outside a Travelodge. Go on then, VOTE!

EDIT: There was a colossal, White Lightning-fuelled cock up which saw Barclays incorrectly put through from round two instead of Royal Mail. So we’ll have to start again. We’re extending the voting time until noon tomorrow. Apologies for any upset, confusion and loss of sleep you may suffer from because of this technical error. (Thanks to keen-eyed avid reader Digital E)

It’s now semi-final time in Bitterwallet’s Britain’s Worst Company of 2009 voteathon. From the original 32, we’re now down to the eight shittiest companies according to you, our avid readership.

We’re altering the format slightly for the semis and over the next two days you’ll have the choice of four companies per day for y’all to direct your rage towards. The top two from each showdown will make it into next week’s pre-Christmas final.

Today’s quartet of consumer crapulence are eBay, BT, Phones4U and Barclays Royal Mail. Ugh – just typing out their names makes us want to vomit chunks into a pail.

You’ve got until midnight tonight noon tomorrow to cast your vote and you can check out the pretty-bloody-close-actually outcome of yesterday’s final second round tussle between T-Mobile and Orange here. Ooh, it was a tight one.

There’s also a rundown of all of the results so far here. Check back tomorrow for the second semi-final. Tense doesn’t even begin to describe it all…

Right then – the babies have all been put to bed and the big bad boys and girls are left as Bitterwallet’s Worst Company In Britain 2009 competition enters its second round. The tension mounts… on with the body count!

Today’s match-up between two of your 16 most-hated companies is between Halifax Bank Of Scotland and eBay – two giants who have no qualms about unfairly and shamelessly removing money from the pockets of their victims customers.

You’ve got until midnight tonight to cast your vote and all of the first round results can be found here. If you’re looking for a picture of a massive toy giraffe hanging about outside a Travelodge, you’re wasting your time. That stuff is so first round.

It’s day two of our vote for the Worst Company In Britain 2009. In yesterday’s showdown, Halifax Bank Of Scotland beat Lloyds TSB at a canter with more than two thirds of the votes, which could translate into the fact that by merging with HBOS, the Lloyds Group have acquired the banking equivalent of a dead cow lying face down in a pond. Or something.

We’ve got another bank in our sights today, Nat West, and they’re going up against one of the big guns when it comes to pissing off the public, eBay. Cast your votes folks, you’ve got until midnight tonight…

If you’re on the lookout for an affordable Xbox 360, now is the time to take advantage of the bans issued to hundreds of thousands of console owners last week… as long as you’re not bothered about playing online games.

The naughty gamers were found out after playing with modded consoles and those consoles have been kicked off Xbox Live forever, leaving their owners forced to fork out for a new Xbox if they want to get online again.

As a result, scores of them have taken to selling their tainted games machines on eBay, in spite of the online auction house issuing the following warning…

“If you are looking to buy an Xbox 360 on eBay in the near future, ask the seller if it has been banned from Xbox Live and be sure to pay by PayPal in case they lie. If you do get a banned console, start a PayPal claim.”

Sure enough, lots of the banned consoles are turning up on eBay, with their sellers being open and honest about their banned status. And they’re going for an average of about £75, often with some games thrown in, which isn’t bad.

And, because they’re modded, you can play pirated games on them. Not that you’d ever do that because you’re a good honest lot out there. And hell, we’d never condone that sort of thing anyway.

Stop everything. You might not have won the Euromillions jackpot the other week, but it doesn’t matter. Right now, you have the chance to snap up a piece of culture, of history, of art. Yes, it’s your chance to own an original work by Constable, courtesy of eBay:

The current owner, Karen, is a medium who has owned the painting for the past decade, ever since it called to her across a muddy field at a car boot sale. Woooooo. We’re sure you’ll agree it’s an incredible story, even if it is entirely fictional, but not as incredible as the rest of the detail in the item’s description:

“It is the only painting i have ever purchased in my life and im not afraid to say i know absolutely nothing about Art, Antiques etc. I have sent an enquiry to The Victoria & Albert Museum in London, who specialise on John Constable’s work, and they are extremely interested and are more than willing to view the painting to clarify whether it is an original. I was told there is an original painting that has been “missing” since the 1950’s and if this proves to be it, apparently it would be worth in excess of £10,000,000 (yes ten million pounds!!). It is signed and dated bottom right John Constable. ARA. Pinxt. 1820.

“I decided to advertise the painting on ebay in hope that one of you experts out there will know if this is the genuine painting, without me having to travel all the way to London.. I will be happy to arrange viewing of the painting to anyone genuinely interested in hope that you can enlighten me!”

Because if you have an inkling you’re sat on a painting worth £10 million, a trip to London is out of the question, isn’t it dear? Currently the listing has 626 views, so see it now before eBay deletes it.

Thanks to Bitterwallet reader The Couch

Naysayers crow that eBay doesn’t offer bargains anymore. How wrong they are. They’ll kick themselves when they release they missed out on over 1 million fruit pies. Who wouldn’t want a million fruit pies? Think of the starvation in third world countries you could prevent. Think of the children.

In fact there were 1,090,000 frozen mixed fruit puff pies on offer – 13,000 cases of 84 pies, equating to 130 pallets, or five articulated lorries. It’s what we in the catering trade refer to as a metric fuckton of pie. The taste sensations were originally destined for ASDA who cancelled the order. But even with a sell-by date over a year distant, who in their right mind would buy that many pies?

We don’t know who exactly, only that they were a long-standing and active eBay user, and they had £124,100 sitting around in their bank account. The auction only ended last night, so doubt the details of this mystery pie eater will come to light in the hours to follow.

Thanks to Bitterwallet reader Haidar Darwesh

When eBay was still coming of age a few years back, people tried selling anything and everything on it. Since then the novelty of auctioning crapola has faded, prices have stabilised and you have to hunt high and low to find a gem of a bargain. But while we’d like to think that a pair of Nike Air Max for £9.99 is a steal, this footwear has previous. Specifically, a very sweaty, very active former owner:

On the plus side, the seller is at least honest about what you can expect for your money:

“As you can see from my pictures you are bidding on a pair or well loved, well worn, sweaty, trashed trainers of mine. They have been well lived in and well loved. I have used them for training in, working in, painting in, playing football and other sports and all sorts of other things. Its fair to say they have a smell that is unique to themselves. The soles are very smooth and are cracked across from one side to the other. Plenty of live left in them yet and I’m sure someone can find a use for them.”

So you’re not simply buying a pair of knackered trainers, you’re buying character. What price can you put on that, eh? A penny short of a tenner, it seems. Cheers to Bitterwallet reader Peter for the heads-up; if you spot anything on the shelves – virtual or real-world – that’s out of the ordinary, email us at bitterwallet@gmail.com. You’ll be glad you did.

The telecoms game-changer Skype has finally been sold by eBay after months of idle speculation and worthless gossip. This news may very well be speculation and gossip itself, but since the chief rumour-monger is The New York Times, it’s more than likely to be true.

A new venture capital firm headed by the Netscape co-founder Marc Andreessen is thought to be one of several investors buying Skype from eBay, who paid a colossal $2.6 billion for the operation back in 2005. The new owners will probably pay far less; analysts at the time of the original deal said eBay had paid over the odds, and reports earlier in the year suggested eBay were willing to accept almost a billion dollars less.

The only fly in the ointment is an outstanding licensing dispute with Joltid, who wrote the code at the heart of Skype’s peer-to-peer communications. Unless that situation is resolved, then any new owners could quickly find themselves with an unworkable product and over 440 million registered users banging on their door – they’d have to bang at the door one at a time meaning massive queues, or it’d need to be a door the size of Portugal. Either way, that’d be a story in itself.

Ah, some good to end this sacred day of our Lord. No doubt you spent Friday in mourning after discovering the eBay listing for a Manchester stag party in requesting a dwarf had been removed. We were heartbroken, as you’d expect. To think that somebody would be denied the chance to be handcuffed to a pissed-up Mancunian twat – it brought a tear to the eye.

But good news! After all, Sunday is a day for blessed miracles. The listing has re-appeared on eBay, so if you have a friend on the wee side who fancies some extra coin for entertaining these chaps in what can only be described as the Hawaii of the North, then the gig could be yours.

UPDATE 28/8: Whoops, seems like we’ve gatecrashed the party – the eBay ad has been taken down. Now it’s like the whole thing was a dream. If only somebody had taken a screenshot to prove it really existed. Your luck’s in.

Oh eBay, are there no limits to your resourcefulness? Short of allowing the trade of weapons-grade Uranium and live unicorns, you’re up for anything, aren’t you? You’ll even help Lee Thackray attempt to hire a dwarf for a stag night. Brilliant:

Good Morning my fellow E-Bayers,

In my hour of need I need your assistance. I am in the market place for a Dwarf/Midget who is up for a laugh on the 26/09/09, in Manchester. I have below set some certain criteria to which I am looking for:

Must be over 18 years old.
Must be Male.
Must be classed as a dwarf/midget.
Must be under 5ft in height.
Be willing to dress up.
Must be prepared to be handcuffed to the stag.
Any extra talents would be good, especially a groovy mover on the dancefloor.

As for payment we are open to neg. (Money will be paid cash on the night)

We have many ideas for my mates Stag doo, but other ideas are welcome.

I am deadly serious about this and would be grateful if any applicants would forward a picture and details to me at leethackray@yahoo.com

I am sorry if this advert has offended anyone, but needs must!!

Serious people only apply!!

Many Thanks

Lee

One quick bit of advice, Lee – best not to put too much detail online – like your name and email address, for example – given there’s every chance your mate will see this and know exactly what you have planned for him. Admittedly the page has only been viewed 24 times at the time of posting, so maybe you’ll be ok. Or maybe the stag will read it and punch you in the balls. Either way, let us know how it pans out and send the photos. Cheers!

[eBay] thanks to Bitterwallet reader Eddy