Posts Tagged ‘dwarf’
Ah, some good to end this sacred day of our Lord. No doubt you spent Friday in mourning after discovering the eBay listing for a Manchester stag party in requesting a dwarf had been removed. We were heartbroken, as you’d expect. To think that somebody would be denied the chance to be handcuffed to a pissed-up Mancunian twat – it brought a tear to the eye.
But good news! After all, Sunday is a day for blessed miracles. The listing has re-appeared on eBay, so if you have a friend on the wee side who fancies some extra coin for entertaining these chaps in what can only be described as the Hawaii of the North, then the gig could be yours.
UPDATE 28/8: Whoops, seems like we’ve gatecrashed the party – the eBay ad has been taken down. Now it’s like the whole thing was a dream. If only somebody had taken a screenshot to prove it really existed. Your luck’s in.
Oh eBay, are there no limits to your resourcefulness? Short of allowing the trade of weapons-grade Uranium and live unicorns, you’re up for anything, aren’t you? You’ll even help Lee Thackray attempt to hire a dwarf for a stag night. Brilliant:
Good Morning my fellow E-Bayers,
In my hour of need I need your assistance. I am in the market place for a Dwarf/Midget who is up for a laugh on the 26/09/09, in Manchester. I have below set some certain criteria to which I am looking for:
Must be over 18 years old.
Must be Male.
Must be classed as a dwarf/midget.
Must be under 5ft in height.
Be willing to dress up.
Must be prepared to be handcuffed to the stag.
Any extra talents would be good, especially a groovy mover on the dancefloor.
As for payment we are open to neg. (Money will be paid cash on the night)
We have many ideas for my mates Stag doo, but other ideas are welcome.
I am deadly serious about this and would be grateful if any applicants would forward a picture and details to me at firstname.lastname@example.org
I am sorry if this advert has offended anyone, but needs must!!
Serious people only apply!!
One quick bit of advice, Lee – best not to put too much detail online – like your name and email address, for example – given there’s every chance your mate will see this and know exactly what you have planned for him. Admittedly the page has only been viewed 24 times at the time of posting, so maybe you’ll be ok. Or maybe the stag will read it and punch you in the balls. Either way, let us know how it pans out and send the photos. Cheers!
[eBay] thanks to Bitterwallet reader Eddy