Posts Tagged ‘drinking’
The number of local pubs in the UK has fallen to its lowest point in over a century, say the old gits at the Campaign For Real Ale. In fact only 57,000 locals are left, thanks to annoying wine bars, chain pubs and fancy 5 star gastro joints called things like The Lazy Ox and The Fox’s Anal Fissure.
This sad news, which makes you want to immediately hotfoot it to the Pig and Whistle and stare vacantly into a pint of Speckled Badger, comes as traditional pubs are closing at the rate of 26 a week.
Chief executive of CAMRA Mike Benner blamed the government, saying: “We believe that the scrapping of the beer duty escalator and the extra 1p off beer duty announced in this year’s Budget could mark a turning point for pubs.’
But the government also intend to crack down on dodgy dealings from the big chains and introduce a new watchdog scheme which could save local pub landlords £100 million a year.
Let’s hope the humble pub survives. After all, there are only so many times you can see the words ‘pulled pork’ on a rustic blackboard before you want to go mad and attack someone with a pool cue.
What is the world coming to? The French, who for years have complimented their politically awkward, laissez faire shrugging and shagging reputation with a nice glass of red, are apparently cutting back on the wine.
According to the International Journal of Entrepreneurship, who studied French drinking habits, only 17% of adults drink wine on a daily basis, down from over 50% in 1980. And 38% of crazy fools prefer not to drink wine at all, replacing the bottle of Beaujolais with water or Sprite.
The reports’ authors say it’s a cultural thing – young people have no historical connection with wine, and those in the middle aged bracket see wine drinking as an occasional indulgence, rather than an everyday activity.
They’re also blaming the steady erosion of the family evening meal (or repas, if you were concentrating in GCSE French).
Wine connoisseur Denis Saverot is not happy with the findings. ‘Wine is the subtlest, most civilised, most noble of anti-depressants,’ he shouted, possibly throwing an empty bottle over his shoulder. ‘But look at our villages. The village bar has gone, replaced by a pharmacy.’
Oh well. More for us, then.
Scottish politicians are trying to put the scuppers on drink promotions as they try to portray themselves as more sensible boozers, despite the fact they invariably consume more than the rest of us put together in fine clarets and expensive whiskies.
This move is being closely watched by Westminster as they fret and worry about supposed ‘binge drinking’ and its problems.
So while London watches Scottish politicians, we should watch how Scots drinkers react. And they’re too canny to let a little thing like a bill stop them from getting bargains.
See, what Scotland is doing is using online deals to swerve around new laws banning discounted ale. Even Tesco are getting on the act, emailing Scottish customers, telling them that they can still get booze discounts because cases will be dispatched from a depot in England.
In an email promotion, Tesco said: ”Great news! All orders placed at TescoWine by the case will still qualify for these discounts when applicable as your wine is dispatched to you from our distribution centre in Daventry, England.”
The Alcohol Bill is aiming to ban “irresponsible” drinks promotions and restrict advertising of alcohol around premises.
A Scottish government spokesman says: “Internet sales represent only a very small proportion of the alcohol sold in Scotland, but it is an area that we watch closely to see if further action is necessary.”
Everyone drinks too much because we live in an unforgiving, unyielding world. It’s a dreadful planet so we might as well get wrecked and make it that little bit more toxic, right? That said, the Danish have got us thinking as something called Byturen have made a video showing you exactly how stupid you look on a night out.
Basically, you can enjoy the Danes export (that one they hate to see leave), but in moderation because you look like a gigantic berk if you don’t. And yes, there’s a bit of nipple half way through the video too, which is terribly exciting.
If you visit the Byturen website, there’s an interactive version too. There’s also the near-English instruction of “Hold Musem Over Filmen”, which should keep you puerile swine happy for ten minutes alone.