We’re not posting this because it bashes DSGI, people. We’re posting it because you love talking about HDMI cables. They’re probably all you ever think about. At work, at home, in the pub, in bed, during vinegar strokes. You love them.

The BBC decided to indulge in a little mystery shopping to see how staff reacted when asked for helping choosing the appropriate leads for connecting an XBOX 360 to a high definition television:

John Lewis: “They said their cheapest cable was £19.99 and I shouldn’t spend any more because they all do the same thing.”

Micro Anvika: “The guy said HDMI is HDMI and the cables shouldn’t really differ. The cheapest one, he tried to sell me, was £29.99. The most expensive one they had was £95 and he said there wasn’t really much difference between them.”

PC World: “They tried to sell me a £39.99 HDMI cable which was, apparently, clearer picture quality.”

Currys Digital: “They said I should buy the £69.99 HDMI cable because it provided a much better picture quality over the cheaper version, but for some reason [the assistant] decided to knock £20 off.”

A £70 cable for hooking up your XBOX? Canny. Have they seen the price of an XBOX recently? According to DSGI:

“We always aim to help our customers find the right product for their choice of hardware by clearly explaining the differences between the cables and our staff receive training on these products. The choice of HDMI cable is mainly determined by the level of signal purity that the consumer is looking for in the connection between playback device and television.”

[Newsbeat] thanks to rabid Bitterwallet reader Paul

If you’ve watched any television over the past few days, you can’t help but notice there’s a SALE ON NOW. That’s not a surprise, obviously, with many stores dangling an extra carrot in front of consumers; the VAT increase arrives on 1st January, meaning an extra 2.5 per cent will be piled on top of most price tags in just four day’s time, so bag your bargains now, now, NOW!

If you’d like to play a fun consumer-related game with us, then have a crack at the following:

• Choose a shop that is currently predicting some sort of financial Armageddon if you don’t buy from them before the VAT increase on 1st January – your television is currently stuffed with commercials for them. We’ve chosen Currys who are desperate for you to enjoy the bargains while they last.

• Make a note of some product prices -we’ve taken a screengrab of the Beat the VAT promotional page on the Currys site because the suggestion is all these prices – whether they’re sale prices or not – will increase

• Come 2010, compare the prices in January to those offered now

We’re curious to see what stores do, because sticking the additional VAT on prices will cause all manner of ugly numbers – an iPod Touch at Currys costing £149 will become £152.73 £152.25, and so on. So will stores:

• round up their prices up to something which won’t necessitate lots of change in the till and mean the prices look less ambiguous – i.e. £153 in the case of the iPod Touch – but which means charging more than the VAT increase dictates?

• round their prices down for the same reasons as above, but absorb part of the increase themselves?

• make a merry old song and dance about not increasing their prices at all and take the hit, and hence another reason to grab a bargain while you can!

The sales will no doubt continue into January, so let’s see if any dastardly outlets take the opportunity to introduce price rises above 2.5 per cent in the hope nobody spots them. Let us know in the comments or by emailing bitterwallet@gmail.com.

Avid Bitterwallet reader Liam wants to see one company awarded our Worst Company 2009 award, and one company only – Currys:

“I saw the brilliant offer for a Sony 37W5500 at Sainsbury’s on HUKD for £599. With a Currys around the corner and being a savvy shopper, I thought I would take advantage of their price promise to get the TV even cheaper.”

Liam popped into his local branch of Currys in Ashton-under-Lyme and waited 20 minutes while a sales assistant checked the price, only to be told that the Sainsbury’s price was too low to match. She referred up to her manager who referred up to head office, after which Liam was promised a phone call that was never made. When he complained, Currys dished out a helping of excuses soup to Liam. It was watery and thin like bathwater, and tasted of onions and filth:

“Having checked I can see that the model that Sainsbury’s are selling is slightly different to the one that Currys are. The model sold by Sainsbury’s is the Sony KDL37W5500U and the one Currys stock is the Sony KDL37W5500. As there is a difference the store can refuse to match the price of the item.”

Fair point, well made. After all, you can’t price match on different products. Because they are different products, aren’t they?

If you’re thinking they look identical, that’s because they are. There is no difference whatsoever between the two. Well, to be agonisingly fair, there is one. According to the experts at HDTV Test:

“The specific model we tested was the Sony KDL37W5500U (which denotes the 3-pin-plug United Kingdom version), but the terms KDL37W5500, KDL-37W5500 and KDL37W5500U may be used interchangeably throughout this article to refer to the same LCD television.”

So in fact the products are identical, but one is seemingly shipped with UK plug attached at source. Both are widely available from retailers across the UK and retail at similar prices – a fitted plug gave Currys enough wriggle room to squirm out of their own price promise guarantee. A+ for ingenuity, Z- for customer service.

As if their recent marketing campaigns didn’t give you enough reason to hate Microsoft, here’s another – the launch of Windows 7 is been credited with helping to reverse the fortunes of DSGi. When we say “reverse”, we mean that the owner of Currys and and PC World lost less money than they expected to – they still aren’t making any.

The retailer had predicted to lose between £23 million and £35 million in the six months to mid-October, which in itself is the sort of catastrophically inaccurate prediction that is easily capable of sinking companies without trace – only a £12 million margin of error, you say? Anyway, DSGi made pre-tax loss of £17.6 million, which is good news if you squint and forget the meaning of the word million.

The group is putting the success down to new megastores in the likes of Norway and Sweden, and tinkering with the formats of its UK stores, such as the new combined two-in-one PC World and Currys galactostores. No mention of the money saved by hacking the guts of technical support for customers, strangely – they must have forgotten to put that bit in. There was also a lift in sales in the last eight weeks of the period, which the company believes was due to sales of Windows 7.

Don’t break out the caramel bites from Sainsbury’s just yet, though – the outlook for 2010 “remains uncertain”. Now there’s one prediction we can all agree on, since Best Buy are about to launch and try sticking a pitchfork through DSGi’s face.

DSGi would rarely top anyone’s list as a source of free-thinking humanitarians, but you’d be surprised. In September we revealed what PC World and Currys staff really thought of their customers by reporting on a Facebook group of over 3,000 members, including many current employees. The media caught hold of our coverage,  several dozen employees shat their pants, and the group sank without trace into the digital mire.

Now there’s an attempt to ressurect the group, although this time they’re going about it in a very different manner:

“THOSE WHO PUBLICLY INSULT CUSTOMERS WILL BE BANNED – ITS NOT THE POINT OF THIS GROUP”

The group is called Disgruntled DSGi Employees, and was originally set up by a member of staff and two former employee. Unsurprisingly, given the title and intentions of the group, the staff member involved has disappeared from the group in the past 24 hours, along with all their posts, after “someone threatened him with dismissal from the company if he did not leave the group”. This upset one of the other founders – seemingly a former employee with a whole lot less to lose – has decided what DSGi really need to consider is the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

Hence a yawningly long post describing how exactly man’s right to free speech intersects with a teenager’s considered opinion on selling dishwashers:

“In conclusion, the UDoHR is far more important than some contract that says you will not use social media to bad mouth the company which is apparently “legally binding”. Well here’s one for you, if you enforce this and dismiss/discipline people for speaking their mind, you have JUST broken international law!!”

If only the universal Declaration of Human Rights paid your wages, eh? Fortunately it seems that most members of staff have wised up to the fact that they’re very much entitled to their opinion, but publishing it for the world to read is what really pisses off the people who employ them. The group currently has nine members.

A few people, largely those purporting to work at the likes of PC World and Currys, seem to have missed the point of our exposé of DSGI staff on Facebook; there is absolutely no doubt that some customers are unreasonable, abrasive pains in the backside – absolutely anybody working in retail would agree with that. If you want to piss and moan about them though, you should do it in the staff room or the pub, or even a private Facebook group. You don’t create a public forum and post comments under your own name. That’s just dickish.

Having said all of that, we did note there are some perks to the job when it comes to face-to-face dealings with customers:

Dozens of staff claiming to work at PC World and Currys are using Facebook to launch fierce attacks on their own customers, with some employees branding them “retards” and “twats”.

British Airways, Primark and other high-profile companies have all been caught out by staff posting comments on Facebook that criticised customers and working conditions. Bitterwallet has been reading through a Facebook group called DSGi Employees, where dozens of the 3,000-strong membership discuss working for the company and dealing with the shoppers.

Topics cover internal policies and training, but criticism of customers proves consistently popular, with discussions ranging from “The sale of goods act (as amended by customers)”, “why are customers often surprised when we try to sell them add-ons/essentials?” and “Chatting up customers….” to “Arsehole customers!”, “Really Stupid Customers!” and Some customers are really really stupid…..”. Most contributors use their real names and reveal their location and store number in another discussion called “Which branch?”.

Amongst the comments:

• a continuous barrage of insults towards customers – one employee refers to a shopper as a “retard” while another suggests any customer asking for discount should “go fuck yourself you hardfisted, smallwalleted, annoying, iggnorant [sic] tightfisted fucktard.”

• staff state that some customers deserve a “back hand” or a “punch”; one person asks other employees whether they should be “legally allowed to cattle prod this [sic] arseholes!!!!”

• a member of staff boasts of sexual liaisons with a customer after using details from a sale to add her as a friend on MySpace – we’re reasonably sure that falls well outside the Data Protection Act

What makes this even more astonishing is that according to group members, senior management are apparently aware of the Facebook group’s existence and read through the comments on a regular basis; one member of staff claims to have been disciplined for offering poor sales advice through the group to another employee: “Watch your backs,” he warns, “big brother / head office is watching.”

Everybody’s entitled to an opinion, but airing them in a public forum for your customers to read is unbelievable behaviour:

Worried about the recession putting you out on the street and the high street out of business? Don’t be! Everything is ok and there’s absolutely no need to panic whatsoever. Says who? John Browett, chief executive of DSGI – that’s who! After the release of DSGI’s latest trading statement, Browett told The Times that DSGI is “seeing some evidence that, in fact, it’s not going to be quite as bad as some of the more pessimistic economic scenarios” and that consumers were displaying renewed confidence by “trading up” to mid-priced ranges:

“Given the challenging environment, this is an encouraging start to the year… we remain cautious about the economic outlook.  However, we are making good progress on our renewal and transformation plan to deliver an unbeatable combination of value, choice and service for our customers.”

So good news, there – PC World and Currys are perfectly positioned to ride out the recession, and any reports of savage cost-cutting and restructuring behind the scenes is all coincidental. So what did DSGI’s trading statement say that has restored so much confidence and fighting spirit? Just take a look at those numbers:

• a 6% fall in like-for-like sales in the four months to August 22, excluding the cost of new stores

• growth of sales of electricals in the UK and Ireland down 14%

• growth of sales of computers in the UK and Ireland down by 15%

• DSGI disposed of its business in Poland for €1: “The Polish market should have been a great market for us. We would probably have had to open 50 stores. That scale of investment wasn’t possible.”

That’s the sort of good news you just can’t buy, although if you could you’d also have to buy a set of gold-plated scart leads passed to you with both hands by a DSGI employee.

[The Times]

Wow. DSGi are really, really keen on their FIVES training. If you’re one of the three Bitterwallet readers that doen’t work for PC World or Currys, then you’re missing out on the curious world of rooms, positive body language and NLP – the DSGi sales training known as FIVES, which we explained in detail several months ago.

Obviously every retail business needs to ensure their staff can sell, and sales training isn’t unusual – we’re not suggesting it is. The comments on our previous article were many and varied; some readers thought FIVES was a reasonable and valid training programme, others thought it went too far:

“It is one thing to provide customer service training but mimicing body language and attitude is manipulative and to me objectionable.”

What also came through from the comments was that current staff (plenty of comments were from readers claiming to work for DSGi) viewed FIVES as a structured guide rather than a strict policy that must be followed to the letter:

“Do you really use it word for word? We certainly don’t – there has to be some individuality or else you take away the service element…. if you’re hitting all the targets and not using FIVES, you’ll probably be fine.”

“Yes, Fives works. Yes, Fives gives a structure and guidance. However, it should be there as a tool at the salespersons expense. NOT a requirement.”

It seems DSGi disagree. Not following FIVES to the letter is to be treated as gross misconduct, according to an email sent to store managers and passed onto Bitterwallet. Any member of staffed who is reported as not sticking to the gameplan by a mystery shopper isn’t going to have a happy time of it:

“If they have been in the business for over 6 months and are fives trained then it should be a straight-to-invite disciplinary. This invite can be for bringing the company into disrepute, or failure to follow a reasonable request, or negligence depending upon how poor the shop score was and their attitude when the investigation takes place.

“So for example; bringing the company into disrepute is gross misconduct and its likely outcome would be final written. This would only happen if the score was very poor i.e. 30 or less, and upon investigation the individual said that they “didn’t use or believe in fives as their own method works better for them”. We have heard this from colleagues before.

“If the score was 40+ and the individual just didn’t introduce certain parts of the process, but understood that they should have done at the investigation, then this would be a failure to follow a reasonable request or negligence which would be a written warning and verbal depending on their length of service and seniority in the business.”

There’s no room for manoeuvre whatsoever – not if a member of staff wants to keep their job, and regardless of whether they can actually sell. If you’re a customer, do you rate service at PC World or Currys higher than other retailers? If you’re a member of staff, then welcome back and let us know what you think. Is FIVES too inflexible and does is it really about customer service? Can you sell without resorting to mimicking customers and sliding into NLP?

When it comes to rating computer purchase customer service satisfaction, 7,683 Which? magazine panel members have spoken, and guess who came out worst? Step forward PC World and get a slap across the cheek.

Yes, the DSGi brand that everyone hates to love fell horribly short, even though their name suggests they’d be just the kinds of places you’d love to go when you need to buy a computer. The survey gave them a small and twatty customer service score of just 42%.

PC World’s big cousin Currys fared little better, with a crappy 45% score in the survey. In case you were wondering and are one of those positive types who likes to celebrate winners instead of naming and shaming losers, Apple came top with a tidy 88%, with John Lewis just behind them on 73%

Surprised by any of this? Tell us why. Meanwhile, there should be a fresh dollop of DSGi sleaze to follow later in the day…

An interesting email from a DSGI employee arrived yesterday. Since there are plenty of PC World and Currys staff and customers reading Bitterwallet, we’d like to hear about your experience of this; are DSGI really expecting the guy who installs you cooker to repair your laptop?

“Job roles have again been changed to DSGI’s advantage as nobody will get any more money even though they are taking away the car’s because of how the job roles are structured, Engineers will now have to drive anything up to a 7.5 tonne truck and be able to lift and install cookers, fridges, washers, freezers and any other white goods sold by Currys or PCWorld. Plus they will have to repair computers, Flat screen TVs and install computers onto the internet with Wi-Fi connections or even a business network system.

“It just goes to show what they think of field engineers when they think we can teach the van drivers all we know in a few weeks, Oh yes, the van drivers will be coming to a house near you to repair a computer or a TV. That’ll be interesting on high street with minimal parking and when visiting customers on deep country farms.

“At the moment all TechGuy field engineers are on a 90 day consultation period. I’m one of the so called TechGuys but I prefer to be the bloke from PCServicecall. Seems to me and a lot of others that since we have been renamed the service has gone down the pan.”

What do you think? Self-indulgent grumbling or are DSGI demanding engineers be able to adequately repair any product line sold?

A late offering of HUKD bargains to feast upon this evening, ladies and gents. Get them while they’re hot, because if you don’t, the guilt will keep you awake tonight to the point where you lose your mind and go postal. That’s how good they are, swear down.

Due to recent changes in work employment laws, it is now a legal requirement for all offices to employ at least one thirty-something year-old who eats no vegetables except potatoes and will happily polish of a full box of Jaffa Cakes during his lunch break. Tubbs, your luck’s in – Morrisons are selling three packs of McVitie’s Jaffa Cakes for just £1.20 – usually £2.56. Aces.

If you live in Manchester, then after today’s shock announcement by Ryanair you’re going to have to look elsewhere for your penny-pinching flights. If you don’t fancy the Trans-Penine “Express”, Virgin trains have released tickets for £8 for travel between London and Manchester until 23rd October. In just two hours you’ll be scoffing down eel pie and mash, you lucky bleeders.

Finally, if Monday has been too much for you, then it’s time to drink your troubles away until you’re piss wet in your own piss. All hail the Carlsberg draughtmaster for under £30 (instore only) at Currys. Technically you’ve got to make another purchase to buy one for £29.97, but according to HUKD member will1407 the staff aren’t that arsed apparently.

(deals found by HUKD members richardderbys, adsldave and will1407)

Yes, it's the logo that gets worse the more you look at it

They might be in the financial gloop and they might be guilty of hammering their staff into selling needless add-ons to customers, but Currys love a challenge and you’ve got to admire them for it.

Their latest wheeze sees them taking on the lease of an ill-fated retail site at Lakeside in Thurrock. The 100,000 square foot lease has already seen off now-defunct Danish furniture floggers Ilva and Marks And Spencer, whose catastrophic Lifestore never even got round to actually opening its doors on the site.

Possibly while setting off party poppers and wearing a hat with streamers stuck on it, a spokesman for Currys’ parent company DSGi said: “Firstly, this makes us third time lucky and, secondly, this will be a huge concept store. If that can’t do it, then nothing can.”

You know what – we believe him. It’s that last part: “…this will be a huge concept store. If that can’t do it, then nothing can.” That’s the kind of blue sky thinking that makes all those retail management degrees seem like such a waste of time and effort.

Come on Currys – Bitterwallet believes in you! And no, we don’t want a gold fucking scart lead. Fuck off.

Next time you’re in a branch of PC World or Currys and you look into the sunken eyes of the sales assistant who sidles up to you and launches into the Fives script, spare a thought for the pressure they’re under to deliver a result for their scheming paymasters.

Because, if information leaked to us by a PC World employee is to be believed, all sales staff now have to try and secure add-on sales of as many as TEN different products with every major item they manage to flog to you or I.

Buy a TV and immediately your friendly assistant will panic and switch into sales mode, striving to persuade you to also take Sky HD, a bracket or desk, the PC Performance package (essential when you’ve just bought a, erm, telly) or a premium lead. Premium mind you, one of them nice gold ones we imagine, not one of the cheap, shitty ones (that are overpriced at DSGi stores to start with.)

Sadly, this is not the kind of Norton PC World want to flog you

Buy a PC or laptop and the hard sell will begin for the aforementioned PC Performance, the dreaded Norton Anti-Virus, Microsoft Office, a laptop bag, mobile broadband and tech attachments (it says here.)

For the poor sod who’s trying to flog you all this tat that you probably don’t want, there’s some pretty stringent percentage targets to be met, across all ten of the add-ons. Meet their target on an item and you’ve got themselves a ‘strike.’

As our mole explains: “8/10 strikes is considered good, 5-8 is amber whereas 4 and below is red and means the employee can face a performance review. That’s a six-week process, with reviews three times every two weeks in which, if strikes don’t improve, you will be dismissed.”

Hurrah! Way to engender a comfortable and positive thinking workforce DSGi! Shoppers, try not to be put off by the climate of fear next time you walk through the doors of your local branch of PC World or Currys. And if you’re feeling charitable towards your sales assistant, buy as many items from them as you can afford – if not, they’ll end up getting the boot and will probably be replaced by a robot that will physically squeeze you in the unmentionables unless you buy from their list of shame.

As ever, DSGi footsoldiers and customers, leave your thoughts in the box below…

Those dons of electrical retail Currys are overhauling themselves, with a bunch of brand spanking new superstores all over the country, complete with a shitty new logo and everything.

Or in their own words: “Currys has transformed its stores with some new innovative features and services.” And a shitty new logo and everything.

The Junction 9 Megastore in Birmingham boasts that it’s the biggest electrical retail store in the UK. That’s an impressive claim, certainly much more impressive than one of its opening offers, the Kef 5.1 channel home cinema package.

Hmm, those numbers don’t impress us quite so much…

Thanks to BW reader ‘Bargain’