Posts Tagged ‘clothes’
Primark to sell their wares through ASOS
June 5th, 2013 • 1 Comment
Want cheap clothes online? Well, Primark have done a deal with ASOS so they can sell their clothes on the internet for the first time.
Primark have said that the deal is a “very limited trial” as the company want to get an ‘insight into online retailing’. There’ll be a collection of 20 womenswear products, including a horrible studded parka.
A Primark spokesman said: ‘Primark is undertaking a very limited trial of online sales with ASOS. This trial relates to a small number of fashion items and will give the company some insight into online retailing.”
It makes sense for Primark to go online, as they’re one of the few retailers who haven’t suffered in economic gloom.
So there you have it. Primarni, now available online and ready to trounce the competition. We can only hope everyone else starts dropping their prices too.
Yoko Ono makes playful perv pants
November 29th, 2012 • 2 CommentsYoko Ono (comfortingly mental) has worked with a company called Opening Cermony and designed a menswear range for Christmas.
Interestingly, it is called ‘Fashions for Men: 1969-2012′, and was inspired by a book of hand-drawn illustrations drawn by Ono, which she presented to John Lennon for their wedding in ’69. Yoko crowbarring John Lennon’s name into something! Imagine!
As you can see from the pictures, the items are a bit pervy, with hands tickling the ballbags and, in one instance, a mesh revealing a bumcrack. Great if you have a pert, blemish-free arse. Awful for everyone else.
“I was inspired to create Fashions for Men amazed at how my man was looking so great,” Ono told VOGUE. “I felt that it was a pity if we could not make clothes emphasizing his very sexy bod. So, I made this whole series with love for his hot bod and gave it to him as a wedding present. You can imagine how he went wild and fell in love with me even more.”
Bod?
Anyway, you can see more of the items by clicking these differently coloured words.
Anyone for Coca Cola fashionware? Thought not…
November 21st, 2012 • 6 CommentsYes, sadly, it’s a thing. ‘Fashion’ clothes as dreamt up a multi-national fizzy drinks company, and presented at Fashion Rio recently. Which one is your favourite?
More to be marvelled at over at the delightfully-named ‘Fucking Young!’ blog…
Have Topshop been stealing designs again?
October 15th, 2012 • 10 CommentsTopshop have been accused of stealing designs before and now, someone is claiming they’re doing it again. Kate Moross tweeted about the ‘theft’ and Twitter has kicked into action, shouting its head off about it all, with one user saying it was a “disgusting rip off” and another saying “thieving bastards”.
Have a look at the (admittedly awful) designs side-by-side. Alarmingly similar aren’t they?
You can see on Moross’ site that this is a pattern she’s used a lot and with Topshop having previous (along with a host of other large retailers), it looks like foul play.
Moross has worked with some big names in the past, including a nationwide billboard campaign for Cadburys, a number of record companies and… oddly enough… she’s done a signature clothing range for Topshop, so they’ve definitely heard of her.
Women’s dresses are a pain in the minge (help is at hand)
February 17th, 2012 • 2 Comments
Buying clothes that fit is a pain in the hole at the best of times. Imagine for one second you’re a woman (if you’re a woman, you won’t have to imagine too hard, unless you’re Jeanette Krankie) – thanks to the layout of your bodies, buying clothes is even more problematic. There’s all those boobs and hips to take into consideration.
Worse still, each shop you buy clothes from seems to have a complete disregard for the standard sizes they offer. A size 12 at one shop will be a size 16 somewhere else. What to do?
Well, mercifully for you ladies and cross-dressers, there’s an online calculator called What Size Am I? which has been developed by a lady called Anna Powell-Smith.
Anna says: “You think you’re a certain size, like a 10, and you could end up with something that won’t zip up or that hangs off. It made me realise sizes vary so much. When you look at all the shops’ websites, they all list measurements, so I’ve put them all in one place.”
“People might go to the same shops over and over again because they’re used to them, but knowing other places might flatter them more, this might encourage them to shop in different places. I couldn’t believe Next was the smallest.”
If you log on to sizes.darkgreener.com, enter your bust, waist and hip measurements, you’ll be able to see calculations of what dress size you are at a variety of high street shops. Again, if you’re a man with a lady-partner, you might want to be considerate for the first time in your life and send her a link to this article.
Chinese clothes now giving you all good advice
November 17th, 2011 • 5 CommentsClothes made in China are not content to simply cover up your nudity. They also want to give you advice. Good advice too. Quite why, we’ve no idea.
[reddit]
Have you ever been in an Urban Outfitters? Did you survive the experience without maiming yourself and wishing you’d been born without eyes or a rudimentary memory? If so, you’ll be thrilled to learn that one of the most irritating shops on the high-street are now being accused of stealing independent designers designs. Again.
The Village Voice effectively accused Urban Outfitters of stealing designs a while ago (more on that here) and now, it would appear they’re at it again.
One young designer has a line of necklaces which features American states with hearts punched through them. The range are called I Heart Idaho and I Heart Mississippi and what-have-you. And now, Urban Outfitters are selling… well… exactly the same thing. Here is the independent designer’s work. Here is the designer’s accusation of idea theft. It’s all very grotty.
Of course, it isn’t the first time we’ve seen someone accusing a big chain of stealing an independent artist’s work. We wrote about Paperchase apologising for making off with someone’s designs. Poor form. Still, we imagine the worst element of all this, is the realisation that you have the same tastes as Urban Outfitters.
HotUKDeals Of The Day – Thursday 2nd September
September 2nd, 2010 • No Comments
Are you in the business of keeping yourself looking smart and flashing your shiny white while om-nom-noming on a tub of ice cream? You are? Well come this way then…
Don’t mind those people over there – they’ve been beavering away at HotUKDeals, sniffing out the bargains for us all.
Despite what the so-called television ‘funnymen’ like Bill Oddie and Roy Walker might say, there’s nothing wrong at all with supermarket clothing. It’s well made, it’s durable, it’s got a vague whiff of style about it sometimes and you can always wash your windows with it when it’s fucked.
All reasons why the announcement of a sale of Tesco’s finest garb is a cause for mass celebration. Skilfully use various codes and you can get up to 40% off and some cashback as well. Now won’t you look all lovely?
On a far more serious note, we move on to teeth. Possibly man’s deadliest natural weapon (with the talon coming a close second), it is believed that we have over 50,000 uses for our teeth, compared to just 7 for our toothless gums.
So children, look after your gnashers. You can do that and save some cash by partaking in a high-profile dental sale that’s going on right now. ‘Half price’ is what they’re roaring through their clenched pearly whites. Get on it.
Do you hate your beautiful, shining teeth? Are you afraid to smile because they’re so bloody perfect? Have you smashed up all your mirrors in case you accidentally get a glimpse of them? Well do something about it you damn fool!
You could start by investing in some of this Asda Loaded Black Forest ice cream. It’s normally £2.47 for a 480ml tub but right now it’s only 50p. The wizards at HotUKDeals haven’t comfirmed whether it’s a nationwide offer or not but we can all dream until they do. Death to teeth!
(deals found by HUKD members Southern Bride, vadis and adamrwood)
Charity sabotages Asda clothes
July 21st, 2010 • 8 Comments
Do you buy your clothes at Asda? If so, you should be ashamed of yourself. Mainly because the clothes found there are so woefully style-less that you may as well dress up in a cloth sack.
However, there are people who are more concerned about the people who make the rubbish clothes and they’ll be telling you all about their concerns by sneakily hiding messages in the pockets of garments.
Basically, ActionAid campaigners are slipping messages into thousands of items of clothing at Asda stores around the UK.
Their aim is to highlight what they call Asda’s “lamentable record on paying poverty wages to factory workers in developing countries”.
Of course, Asda deny these accusations and claim that they’ve taken lots of measures which will lead to better wages and working conditions for workers in places like Bangladesh.
Now, this might sound like plain old preachy bollocks, but ActionAid want to give you a prize as well. Basically, any customer that finds one of these messages will receive an ActionAid T-shirt and entry into a prize draw to win fair trade food and clothing. If you’re liking the idea of that, then maybe you could just go round all the pockets in George whilst doing your weekly shop.
Emily Armistead of ActionAid accused Asda of dragging its heels over the matter – and said the campaign’s aim was to “sneak this message directly to consumers right under Asda’s nose”.
“There’s a dark side to this company which is the way they treat the workers who actually make the clothes they sell. The women who work in factories in India, Bangladesh and other Asian countries struggle to feed their families despite working long hours in terrible conditions. We want to see fashion made fair, and we believe the British public agrees with us.”
ActionAid reckon that decent wages for workers would cost Asda an extra 2p on a £4 T-shirt, but the Wal-Mart owned company disagree.
“The idea that charging 2p more per garment would mean workers earned 2p more is disingenuous,” they said to Sky. “Experts who understand the issue know that the situation of workers in the Asian sub-continent is served best by intelligent action that improves factory conditions in a structured and sustainable way. Our pilot project with another NGO, GTZ, has already resulted in a 15% increase in wages in Bangladesh and it is our firm intention to roll out this innovative project to all our suppliers in the coming months and years.”
You’re not fully dressed without a Bacon Tuxedo
April 14th, 2010 • 18 CommentsAftershave? Check. Condoms in the wallet? Check. Pristine undercrackers? Check. Clean socks on? Check. Elastic band around your doo-dah to give the impression of a fuller, engorged member? Check. You’ve cut your nails and washed your willy and nearly ready to bag yourself a super-hot lady. All you need to do now is practise your chat-up lines and put on your sexiest outfit.
As seen on Failblog, here’s the answer to every single man’s problems. From Stan’s Formalwear, you can bag yourself a suit made of bacon. Well, presumably it’s a suit that looks like it’s made from bacon. Strut in sty-le and she’ll be all over you like a rash-er. I’ll kill myself now shall I?
Greenwoods aren’t losing any sleep right now over this one…
February 23rd, 2010 • 10 Comments
Who says posh haute couture fashion isn’t accessible for everyone?
Not us – imagine if you’d just fallen into a puddle of sick that had been hidden away in a bush, suffering a broken arm in the process, this would definitely be the suit you’d be looking to wear during your recovery.
And if your cock had fallen out during the incident and you found yourself with what might be some kind of weird colostomy bag connection between your bladder and an unidentifiable point halfway up your sleeve, well hell, you’d be all over this new outfit from, erm, let’s see… it says Isabel Mastache here, as unveiled at the Madrid Fashion Week.
Just look at it – it’s perfect for those things that we just said! Now, where’s that dodgy-looking bush?
[BuzzFeed]
Ten years on and the clothes of 2000 still aren’t here
February 11th, 2010 • 10 CommentsMaybe the New Romantics of the 1980s were as close as we’ll ever get to the fashions that are predicted here, but if the 1930s were to be believed, AD 2000 was supposed to be all about adaptable dresses that the wearer could change according to the time of day, glass wedding gowns and mechanoid men with futuristic pockets filled with sweets.
Are you watching this Messrs Marks, Spencer, George, Next and St Laurent? You’re cheating us out of what’s rightly ours to wear!
MPs rules mean newsreader presents show naked?
February 16th, 2011 • 4 Comments By Sam ThewlisBut it’s not that I’m bitter (well, not much) it’s just that MPs seem to have one rule and every other British subject (with the possible exception of the Royal Family) have another.
You see, MPs claim expenses for a variety of things that ordinary mortals cannot. If you tried to claim your lunch as an expense, the tax man would laugh at you while sticking a big fat tax bill on your plate. But David Cameron has…
You see, the thing with lunch is that it cannot be said to be wholly and exclusively for business purposes. If you work full time, you are always out of the house at lunchtime, and have to feed yourself every day. You can therefore bring food from home and there is no ‘additional’ cost caused by your employment. If you choose to go out to lunch- even if it is with a client- that is your choice, and it’s your dollar. Your employer may choose to refund you, but that is up to them- YOU cannot claim it back as an expense of your employment.
For most employees, an expense will also be incurred only where every employee would have to incur that cost- that’s why childcare is not allowable, as not every employee needs childcare. However, for MPs, the requirement is one that “each and every MP or Minister would have to meet”. This is helpfully not defined anywhere, and even in the secretive MPs, Ministers and Tax booklet available only upon request in writing (which the BBC have helpfully scanned here), there are details of all the other allowances they can claim but no specific guidance as to whether these ‘parliamentary expenses’ are considered allowable for tax. I am sure all MPs would naturally consider their (hefty) mortgage interest charges to be allowable. If only we were allowed to do the same…
But perhaps the most fun could be had if we could instead claim for business clothing- or not as the case may be. Last year, newsreader Sian Williams (presenter of BBC Breakfast) took the taxman to court claiming that she should be allowed to deduct several thousands of pounds in hair, clothing and make up costs, being as she was on the telly. Previous cases had failed on the grounds that clothes were not exclusively used for a job, as they also provided warmth and decency. Ms Williams argued that the studio was warm and she was quite prepared to present Breakfast naked.
We think they should have held her to it. They didn’t and she lost her case. Perhaps another TV presenter should take up the gauntlet and offer to remain naked all the time in support of a claim? Cheryl Cole perhaps?